


The Endless Year

by Danypooh80



Series: The Team Mage Chronicles [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Married Couple, Mild Smut, Modern Girl in Thedas, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 45,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22454239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danypooh80/pseuds/Danypooh80
Summary: After the end of the first blight, Team Mage is scattered and reeling from their losses. With Cullen stationed at the Gallows and Sam finally getting a lead on finding Grace, Sam no longer wants to get involved with the problems of Thedas. But despite their best efforts, Sam and Cullen end up involved with the Kirkwall crew and get stuck in the middle of a slew of things beyond their control.With new friends, adventures, and problems, Sam now has to decide if it's better to watch from the sidelines or take action.
Relationships: Alistair/Amell (Dragon Age), Anders/Male Hawke, Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s), Female Amell/Original Character(s)
Series: The Team Mage Chronicles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615699
Comments: 57
Kudos: 37





	1. I need a favor (9:31 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cullen meet the Kirkwall crew

_ _

* * *

"Hey Blondie, you’re from Ferelden, right? Didn’t you used to live in a Circle up there?"

Varric was in Ander’s clinic in Lowtown, where the apostate mage was treating patients. Usually, he didn’t venture down there all that often without Hawke, but after putting two and two together, he needed to see the former Grey Warden in order to satisfy his curiosity about the current Knight-Captain. Ordinarily, he’d wait for Hawke, but the man had all the subtlety of a Druffalo in a china shop- sometimes it was best to handle things with a lighter touch. 

Anders let out a soft huff, ruffling his feathered pauldrons as he readjusted his blonde ponytail. “Lived is one way to put it. I’d prefer to say ‘trapped’.” He looked at the dwarf as he ushered the last patient out, closing the door behind them. "But yes, I was at Kinloch. What’s your point?”

“Do you remember seeing Curly when you were there?” The mage gave him a look and Varric sighed. “The new Knight-Captain, Cullen Rutherford? Curly blond hair, constant stick up his ass? Consummate rule follower?” 

“Ahhh, Meredith’s lackey.” Anders gave a nod. “Yeah, I remember him, why? Is he being even more of a pain in the ass than normal?"

 _Jackpot_ , Varric thought. “Hmmm… I’m curious. I was wondering... was there ever anyone at the Circle he was… cozy with?” 

“ _Cullen_? Not that I knew of… All I remember hearing was that he went off with the Hero of Ferelden and her sister to fight the blight after the blood mages got all freaky. Since I left right before everyone lost their marbles, my knowledge is a little limited.” 

Varric looked up at him, shocked. “The hero was from your Circle?”

The mage shrugged. “Yeah, Solana Amell. She got drafted to the Wardens, like me. Awful gig, by the way- considering she died afterward, I’m not exactly broken up about not hanging around for the afterparty with them.”

“Amell? You mean like Hawke?” _This story was just getting better by the minute._ “So, does anyone know what happened to the sister?” 

“Yeah, just like that, actually, and no, I don’t have a clue. But what’s with you and the sudden interest in Ferelden history?” Varric tried to look nonchalant, but Anders gave him a hard stare and settled in his seat. “Wait… I know that look- you’ve got a story brewing in that head of yours. Spill it, Varric.”

Varric looked thoughtful. “Well, I saw Curly at the bar with a girl a few weeks ago, and he looked like he was actually enjoying himself… struck me as odd, since I thought he was incapable of being a normal human being. Also, I’ve never seen the girl before, so I was wondering if he knew her from somewhere else.”

Anders gave a weary sigh. “She could be new- it does happen. What, do you know everyone in town, Varric?” 

The dwarf nodded. “As a matter of fact, I do. Anyone who looks like that, I can guarantee I would have heard of them before. Also,” he said, leaning forward in his seat, "what strikes me as even more curious is that no one has seen her since. Who do you know that disappears in Kirkwall?”

The mage rolled his eyes and began counting on his fingers. “Um, mages, poor people, anyone who pisses Meredith off… Do I need to keep going?” 

“The point is,” Varric said, ignoring Anders for the moment, “is something’s going on. And I think there’s a connection here. You don’t get cozy with someone like that unless you got history, which tells me she’s from before cause those two certainly have history.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. But why is it important?” Anders leaned back and closed his eyes- Varric knew he wasn’t getting as much rest as he should be. “I think we got enough problems with your brother wanting to head into the deep roads, don’t you?”

“Well, for that to happen, we still need more coin. And more coin means more jobs, which means more risk. Wouldn’t hurt to have the Knight-Captain on our side, would it?”

Anders raised an eyebrow at him. “Just so I’m clear, we’re talking about blackmailing a templar, correct? I don’t know if you remember this, Varric, but I’m still a mage and the last time I checked, that kind of thing doesn’t tend to go over too well.” 

“Not blackmail, Blondie.” Varric leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. "I just want to know what makes him tick. I like knowing what I’m up against, especially in this town. Never can have too many friends, you know?”

“Whatever,” Anders said, rolling his eyes. “Look, I don’t know much. I kept to myself in Kinloch- solitary confinement will do that to a person. All I know is what I heard from conversations around town- that Amell and a girl she said was her sister saved the Circle with some really powerful magic, and that the sister was unconscious at the circle for a while. When she woke up, the girl and the Templar left with Solana to fight the blight. Until I so nicely got ‘invited’ to join the wardens, I thought he’d been conscripted. Hadn’t really thought about it since- a Templar that’s not trying to capture me isn’t usually high on my list of things to care about.”

“Well, I might be able to help with that,” a voice said from behind them. “I met the sisters once in Denerim- lovely girls.”

Surprised, the two men turned to see Isabela draped over the doorway. “Didn’t know you were coming by, Rivani,” Varric said the pirate queen. “What brings you away from the liquor today?”

Isabela waggled her fingers suggestively. “I came for the magic fingers of my favorite healer. But now, it looks like I’ll stay for the conversation. Anders, you know the deal. Help a lady out, would you?”

“When I find one, I will,” Anders grumbled, but he gestured for the pirate to come over. “So, how do you know the hero and her sister?”

“I was at the Pearl,” she said as she sauntered over to his chair. “Thick as thieves, those two- I remember them because it’s quite rare for a mage to catch me cheating at Wicked Grace. Her sister was adorable- the guy that was with them called her Sparrow. She wanted to know everything about being a pirate. Taught the girl a few moves, shared a few drinks...” Anders gave her a look and the pirate queen grinned. “Nothing major, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 _And there’s the connection I need_ , Varric thought. “No one seems to have a good idea what the Hero ever looked like,” he said to the pirate. "What can you tell me?”

In true Isabela fashion, she wagged a finger at him. “Not so fast, Varric. You know as well as I do that information has a cost. What’s it worth to you?” 

He grinned- he expected nothing less from her. “Rivani, you tell me what I want to know and there’s a pint at the Hanged Man with your name on it, courtesy of me.” 

“At least you understand how to show a girl a good time,” she replied with a laugh. “Well, to start, they looked nothing alike- the Hero was tall and thin, with red hair, bright blue eyes, and freckles across her nose. Her sister… looked a little like me, actually. Straight hair, short, really nice breasts…” Isabela got a dreamy look on her face and sighed. “Damn shame she wasn’t interested in a little more than lessons."

Anders just shook his head as he sent his healing magic over the woman. “Why does this not surprise me, Isabela?” 

“ _Anyway_ ,” Varric interrupted, “What color were her eyes, Rivani? Do you remember?”

“Oh yes,” she said quickly. “It’s what made her so intriguing. They were the color of emeralds, the exact same shade as a ring she was wearing. She was too quick for me to take it off her, but in hindsight I’m kind of glad I didn’t, seeing how she was the sister of the woman who stopped the blight- might have been a bit awkward.” 

Varric’s eyes grew wide as he turned to Anders. “Well, shit,” he said finally. “I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, Blondie- it’s just too damn perfect.”

“What is?” Anders asked as he finished with Isabela. The two turned to the dwarf, who was now rocking back and forth in the chair. “What’s going through that head of yours?”

“Now I know who the girl was,” he said after a moment. “Curly’s sweet on the hero’s sister... and the hero was an _Amell_ ,” he said pointedly. “Who’d I’d be willing to bet a sovereign is related to Hawke- you know how these things go around here."

“Which would make her related to Hawke,” Anders finished, finally catching on. “Which would mean he’d be likely to help us out, seeing as how we’d practically be family.” 

“What are you two prattling on about?” Isabela asked, looking back and forth between the two men. “What am I missing?”

“A possible new source of work,” Varric said with a smile. “I think I just found a way for Hawke to get into the Gallows without Meredith losing her shit.”

_ _

* * *

“Can I help you?” Cullen said tersely to the dwarf and the grey warden that had accosted him on his way back to the barracks. He’d been having a horrible day, as there was something funny going on with his recruits. All the leads he turned up pointed to the recruits having been to the Blooming Rose, but no one would talk to him- it was giving him a headache. 

“Just need a moment, nothing more,” the dwarf said politely. “Varric Tethras, at your service.”

“And I’m Anders... a Grey Warden. Since the order is for life, I’m a kept man- sorry to let you know that there’s at least one free mage in Thedas, as I know you templar’s like to keep us under lock and key.”

Cullen rolled his eyes. “Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t hate mages- I hate blood magic. You of all people should know there is a distinct difference.”

The dwarf shot the mage a dirty look. “I apologize for him- he doesn’t get out much. Not our goal to agitate the Knight-Captain, Blondie.”

His possible headache had become a full-blown reality and he rubbed his temple in agitation. “Just what is your goal, then?” 

“Nothing much... just wanted to chat,” Varric replied in that casual way that reminded Cullen of Leliana. “I just think we have mutual friends that should probably meet.”

Cullen tensed up and placed his hand on his sword- he wasn’t keen on where this conversation was going. “What do you mean?”

The dwarf put his hands up and smiled. “Whoa there, Curly- no need for all that. It’s just that my friend might be related to your friend, that’s all. Figured with everyone losing family in the blight, connecting people wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

This gave him pause and he turned to look at Varric, intrigued in spite of himself. “My friend?”

Varric nodded. “Garrett Hawke is from Lothering. But,” he continued quickly after seeing Cullen start to scowl. “His mom is an _Amell_.”

At that, Cullen felt the world wobble beneath his feet, and he narrowed his eyes at the two men. “And why do I need to know this?”

Varric grinned, which did nothing to put Cullen at ease. “Aren’t you dating one of the Amell sisters from Ferelden?”

Cullen's mouth dropped- he hadn’t expected anyone to notice them, much less call him out on it. “I’m-“ He wanted to lie, but there was no way he was going to denounce his wife, so he changed tactics. “How do you figure that one?”

Varric just smiled again like he hadn’t just blown up Cullen’s life. “Let’s all just meet up and have a chat, shall we? Hawke gets to meet his cousin, and we all get to have a drink with friends- it’s a win for everyone.”

Feeling defeated, Cullen let out a sigh- no matter how he played this, the dwarf had him. “I’ll see what I can do,” he replied curtly. “If she wants to meet your friend, I’ll let you know.“

“Good,” Varric said, clapping him on the shoulder as he walked past. "I’ll be at the Hanged Man. Looking forward to meeting another Amell... but if she’s anything like Hawke, I don’t know how this city is gonna survive.”

“You and me both,” Cullen said wearily. “You and me both.” 

_ _

* * *

Just as I was practicing pausing time by tossing eggs in the air, Cullen called out to me. _Sam, are you busy?_

Startled by the interruption, I jumped, causing the egg to shatter as it fell on the table, spattering me with liquid. “EW!” 

_What’s wrong?_ Cullen asked. _Are you okay?_

 _I’m fine_ , I sighed. _Just covered in raw egg, no big deal. I’m now going to have to clean this up and take a shower._

 _That sounds terrible,_ he said teasingly. _But don’t you think a bath with your husband would be better than a shower?_

I laughed, wiping down the table. _I can’t believe you just hit me with the Thedas equivalent of a booty call. I feel so cheap, Mr. Rutherford._

Cullen returned my laugh with one of his own. _I’ll have you know this room is very expensive, Lady Rutherford. But procuring it is going to cost us both some social interaction._

 _Aw, is my husband making friends?_ I asked as I headed upstairs to get into the shower. Even if I did go out to him, there was no way I was traveling with a raw egg stuck to my clothes. _Do I have to be on my best behavior? Pretend I’m a visiting noble? I could always go visit Leli and let her style me up and speak Orlesian all night if it’ll help._

 _Coming as you are is fine,_ he said, then he thought better of it, _Well, Thedas you, that is. Earth Sam might cause a bit of a stir._

 _That’s a shame,_ I teased as I stepped out of my clothes and headed into the shower. _Earth Sam went shopping and found new underwear, but if I must I’ll wear the Thedas-_

 _No, you can wear those underneath,_ he said hastily. _Personally, I love Earth Sam- she’s a lot more fun than Orlesian Sam, that’s for damn sure._

 _Glad to know I make you happy_ , I replied as I stepped under the spray. _Oh, Maker, this is wonderful._

 _You always make me happy, Sam,_ he replied. _While I’m glad you’ve finally said something correctly, I’m going to take a guess and say you’re saying it because you’re in the shower… despite my request._

 _Trust me,_ I said as I cleaned up, _if I come and you have a room, we’ll need that tub later. Now, what’s so important that it’s got you out here making last-ditch efforts to get me there?_

Cullen went quiet, and for a moment I wondered if someone had interrupted him. Just as I was about to call out to him, he returned, his voice slightly weary. _There are people here you need to meet._

I narrowed my eyes. _I don’t know anyone there except you- who is it that I have to meet, exactly? Did Alistair come through and not tell me? Or is Zevran in town badgering you for a visit?_

 _I haven’t seen either of them,_ Cullen replied. _Though finding Zevran around here wouldn’t surprise me- this town is full of cutpurses._

_Well then, I don’t have anybody I need to meet, do I? If it’s important to you and you need a date, I’ll smile and nod, but applications for new friends are closed right now and everyone can politely fuck all the way off._

_It’s important,_ he said carefully. _Lana would want you to meet these people._

I yanked the knob on the shower so hard I broke it, forcing myself to rewind time and fix it, sitting on the toilet to counter the sensation of vertigo I knew was going to hit. _Fuck you,_ I spat. _You don't get to do that- not now, not ever. Is that clear?_

 _In this case, I do,_ Cullen said sadly. _It’s her cousin. And to all of Thedas, you’re her sister, so you’re his cousin too, Sam. And he wants to meet you._

I sat on the toilet, my head reeling for multiple reasons. _Well, that’s just fucking peachy,_ I groaned. 

_I’m inclined to agree. But Hawke is a bit … much. I shudder to think of the ruckus he’d create if we don’t agree to it._

_It can’t be that bad… can it?_ Once my head had stopped spinning, I stood up, staggering to my room. _I mean, how bad can one guy be?_

 _I’ll put it like this,_ Cullen replied wearily. _From what I’ve seen, he's almost as lecherous as Zevran, as charismatic as Lana, almost as sneaky as Leli, and his mouth rivals yours on a good day. So I pose it to you, Sam- how do you think he is?_

 _Damn_ , I said as I pulled on one of the dresses Cullen had picked up for me so I wouldn’t stand out so much. _I guess that answers that question. Fuck a duck, I so hate you right now._

_Why? What did I do this time?_

_Because_ , I said as I packed my bag and made sure my sketchbook was inside, _I was determined to not meet any more people in Thedas, but this man sounds like my goddamn spirit animal. I just have one request before I go, if that’s ok._

 _Anything, love,_ Cullen answered. _What do you need?_

_An object from anyone we’re meeting tonight. If this Hawke really is as bad as Lana, then he attracts trouble. Which means there’s prolly going to be a shit ton of branches, and I’d prefer to not spend the evening screaming in pain, thank you very much._

_Do you think they’ll end up being that important?_ Cullen sounded doubtful. _Troublemakers, yes, but I don’t think they’re at Team Mage levels, Sam. Besides, how am I supposed to do that without anyone screaming at me for trying to cast a spell on them?_

 _There are at least two people in that town that are that important,_ I answered, frowning as I shuffled my bag on my shoulder and set my watch. I _felt them that night, so those are my conditions-they can take it or leave it. Besides,_ I replied, _the items don't have to be anything special- it could be as simple as a feather or a coin. I just need something till I can get a sketch- otherwise, I’m going to be a Sam sandwich and draped all over them like a cheap hooker the whole night._

Cullen went silent for a moment, then spoke again. _I’ll be sure to get your items._

_ _

* * *

The templar had a sick feeling in his stomach when he walked into the bar that evening... almost like the whole world was about to change for him. _Knowing our luck, it probably is, since Sam doesn’t tend to get involved with something that doesn’t result in shaking the core of Thedas. I swear... that girl is a veritable magnet for trouble._

Taking a deep breath, he headed up to Varric’s private room, where he found a cadre of people waiting for him. “Um…” he said carefully, “this is a lot more people than we agreed upon, Varric.” _Sam is going to have a fit,_ he thought as he looked around the room. “I get the distinct feeling I just walked into an ambush.”

“Calm down, Curly,” Varric said, hopping off his chair and patting him on the back. “We’re all friends here- everyone just got excited about meeting Hawke’s cousin and decided to stop by.” He looked out over the group. “Everyone is going to be on their best behavior tonight… right?” 

“Speak for yourself, Varric- I plan on letting my cousin see me in all my glory,” Hawke said, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet on the table. "Serves her right for not coming to find me- anything would’ve been better than us living with Gamlen.” 

Cullen sighed, leaning against the door and crossing his arms. “Hawke, the very idea of you living with my-“ he almost said ‘my wife’, but caught himself. “With Sam is beyond ludicrous, I assure you.” He ran a hand across his neck, instantly dreading how this was about to go. “For her to come in, she needs something small from every person in this room. A coin, a tiny object, anything- it just has to be from each of you.” Everyone looked at him strangely, but the white-haired elf was starting to glow- Cullen sighed. “If you’re asking me to trust you and bring the woman that matters more than anything in the world to me into a room of people that neither of us knows, you can do her that favor.”

Hawke raised his eyebrow. “Bethany and I are her family- we're not going to hurt her, Curly. Honestly, I’m more worried about her hanging around with you, considering you tend to have your head so far up Meredith’s ass that I’m surprised you can see anything except what she’s had for supper.”

Cullen instantly flushed with anger, balling his fists up at his side as he approached Hawke. “EXCUSE ME?” 

Varric stepped between the two men, placing a hand on Cullen’s chest. “Now, now, this isn’t going to help anyone. Hawke, stop antagonizing the Knight-Captain, would you? And Cullen, here- I got a sovereign for you- would that work?” 

Cullen nodded through tight lips, as he didn’t trust himself to speak right then, accepting the coin from the dwarf. “Thank you,” he muttered. “Can you collect the items from your friends, or do I need to leave?”

“No need to leave,” Varric said casually. “Right guys? We can cough up a silver each for a meeting. Hell, I’m sure you lot have paid more for worse. C’mon guys, pony up- we don’t have all night here."

The dark-haired elf looked confused as she fished a coin out of her pocket. “What would we have paid for? Is it food? Or something fun, like flowers?” 

Varric went around the room, collecting items from everyone before stopping at Hawke, who was still glaring at the templar. “Chuckles, where’s your donation? We’re just waiting on you.”

“I don’t see why I have to do this,” Hawke said, eyeing Cullen suspiciously. “Sounds a lot like a spell to me. And besides, where is she anyway? I’ve been looking all over this city for a girl like Varric described, and I haven’t seen her anywhere. I think you’re full of shit, templar.”

Cullen rolled his eyes and pinched his nose. He knew that there would be at least one in the bunch that would give him grief about her request, but he hadn’t expected it to be her cousin. _Sam_ , he called out. _Your cousin seems to be giving me some difficulty with procuring a talisman for you. Everyone else has complied with your request._

Sam’s voice came in his head, tinged with shock. _Everyone else? How many motherfuckers are in that room, Cullen? I thought this was supposed to be a small gathering!_

 _It was,_ he replied. _Your cousin is… difficult. Ordinarily, I don’t condone you showing off your powers, but I think you may have to in order to shut this moron up._ He glared at Hawke again, who stuck his tongue out at the templar. _I’m almost thinking this isn’t worth it, Sam._

_Wow, he’s that bad?_

Cullen nodded, which got him strange looks from everyone in the room except the mages, who were looking at him curiously. _In a word, yes._

_Guess I should show him a little something since my ring is powered up_ , she said with a bit of mischief in her voice. _They want a show, I’ll give them a damn show. When you feel something tickle your hair, I want you to toss everything they gave you in Hawke's face._

Cullen raised his eyebrows, noticing the blond mage start whispering something to the dwarf. _You cannot be serious, Sam- what in the Maker are you playing at?_

“Hawke,” the warden said slowly, “I’d just give him the coin… something is going on here- Justice can feel it.”

“I can too,” the dark-haired elf said. “Does anyone else smell cherries? And pie? Is it just me then?”

“No,” Hawke said simply, crossing his arms. “I won’t.”

Cullen sighed as he stared at the damnable man in front of him. _I guess we’re doing this your way, Sam- whenever you’re ready. I hope you know what you’re doing, love._

 _Yes!_ Sam exclaimed in his head. _Oh wow, I’ve wanted to do something like this forever!_

 _You mean you haven’t-_ Before he could get the rest of his thought out, he felt a hand run through his hair and he closed his eyes. “Suit yourself, Hawke- I warned you,” he said apologetically as he tossed all the trinkets into the surprised rogue’s face. 

_ _

* * *

Thankfully, my ring was working fine- I was easily able to freeze the objects in mid-air, much to the surprise of the dark-haired man sitting in front of me. “You know,” I said as I plucked the frozen objects out of the air and put them into my bag, “your cousin wasn’t nearly as big of a shit as you’re being.” Once I had all the items I unfroze time and turned to my husband, who had crossed his arms and had a large smirk on his face. “I told you- they’re trouble, the entire lot of them. I felt it the moment I came in.” 

“When you’re right, you’re right,” he said, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I should know better than to doubt you by now.” He gestured to the man in front of me. “The man who is currently being a pain in my ass is Garrett Hawke, your cousin. Hawke,” he said, gesturing to me, "I would like to present your cousin, Samantha.”

I extended my hand, eager to shake his so I could calm the pain in my head. “Pleased to meet you,” I said brightly. When his hand grabbed mine, I visibly relaxed. “Now that we’ve met and you know I exist, could you give me that damn token, please?” Wordlessly, Hawke reached in his pocket and pulled out a coin, giving it to me. Thankful that this goddamn pain would be subsiding but unable to turn down the opportunity to be a shit, I took the coin and then patted his cheek. “Thanks, cuz. See, that wasn’t so damn hard, was it?” 

Cullen cleared his throat. “I’ve held up my end of the bargain, Varric. Who are the rest of these people?”

Before anyone could respond, I noticed the woman in the back of the room, and my eyes widened when I saw the pirate queen. “Isabela? Is that you?” 

“The one and only, Sparrow. Nice to see you again,” she said with a smile as she came over to hug me. “You certainly didn’t have that trick in your arsenal the last time we met.” She pulled back as she looked me over, taking everything in. I felt her fingers run across my hands and I balled my fists, realizing that she had decided to try and take my ring. “Oh, you’re still good,” she purred, patting me on the back. “She’s a natural rogue, this one.”

“I’m Anders,” the blond with the ponytail and the feathers said, coming over to stare at me. “And she’s not a rogue, she’s a mage. Who’s dating a templar. That… wasn’t what I was expecting tonight.” He stared at me, obviously trying to figure me out, but I had moved back over to Cullen, who put an arm around me protectively. “What’s wrong?” Anders asked with a grin. "Don’t you trust us? I mean, you have tokens from all of us to cast whatever spell you want to, right? Plus, I’ve heard about what you can do- it seems like if anything, we should be scared of you, Samantha.”

I sighed, looking up at Cullen. “I can't cast spells, Anders. I’m not that kind of mage. Well, technically, I’m not any kind of mage. I’m-“

“That’s enough,” Cullen said firmly, pulling me slightly behind him. “I still need to know who the rest of these people are."

The dwarf came over and took my hand, placing a soft kiss on my knuckles. “Varric Tethras, at your service.” Then he glanced at the ring and his eyes grew wide- I shook my head slightly, and he gave me a nod. “Looks like we have a lot to talk about, Samantha.”

“Call me Sam,” I said lightly. “Pleasure to meet you, Varric.” I looked at Cullen, sending him a silent message. _He knows, love- FYI._

 _Great,_ he thought, rolling his eyes. _I knew this meeting was a bad idea._

I gave him a look, causing the others in the room to look at us strangely. _What, ashamed of your weirdo wife?_

 _Never,_ he said as he squeezed my hand. _Just worried, that’s all. As you can see, Hawke is a bit of a shit, which doesn’t inspire much confidence in him being trusted with such important information._

“What are you two doing?” The dark-haired elf asked me. “I can sense magic moving back and forth between you- it tickles. Also,” she said, coming over to sniff me, “you smell like pie. Do you have some?” I stared at her in confusion and she got a sheepish look on her face. “My mistake- I forget sometimes how I’m supposed to talk to people.” She smiled and took my hand, shaking it profusely. “My name is Merrill- I’m a mage, too!” 

“Yeah, a blood mage,” the white-haired elf spat. “Don’t know why we keep any of these mages around, and now we’re adding another one that can stop time- this just sounds wonderful,” he hissed, his silver tattoos beginning to glow. “Tell me why we shouldn’t just kill this one?”

“Because she’s my cousin,” Hawke said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And we don’t go around being all murder-y with family, Fenris. Tends to make reunions a little awkward when you do that.” He gave me a look. “Sorry about him, love- he’s not the biggest fan of mages.”

“So I gathered,” I said dryly. “Wouldn’t be a proper day in Thedas without someone threatening to kill me.” I rolled my eyes, looking over to Cullen. “Remind me why I keep coming around here again?” 

“Family and friends,” Cullen said. “Plus I think I’d be rather sad if you didn’t come around every now and again- my life would just get too normal.”

“And we can’t have that,” Hawke said, plucking me from Cullen and guiding me over to the dark-haired woman at the other end of the table. “And this is your other cousin and my dear sister, Bethany. She’s also a mage, like you.”

“Like I said, not a mage,” I replied, extending my hand to the girl. “But it’s a pleasure to meet you. Though I gotta tell you, all this family love would’ve been better for Lana, not me.” 

“Nonsense,” Bethany said, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m just delighted to meet more family, and I’m sure Mother would love to meet you as well.” She smiled brightly at her brother, who still had his arm around me. “And I’m sure Garrett might even behave himself long enough for us to have a bite of our meal.” 

“Promises, promises,” Hawke said, dismissing his sister with a smile and a wave. Then he leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Are you ok, cousin? I don’t trust that one,” he said, pointing to Cullen. “Templars around here aren’t known for being all that kind to mages, so canoodling with one may not be in your best interests.”

“When it comes to that one,” I said softly, “I trust him with my life. He’s a good man, even if he does hang around with the MurderCult 5000.” 

At that, Hawke let out a loud laugh, slapping me on the shoulder. “Holy shit, Varric- I like her! Good to know all of our family in Kirkwall aren’t total asshats, but then again she is Ferelden, so maybe that explains it.” He sauntered towards the door, then looked over his shoulder. “Care for a drink, dear cousin? It’s all swill, but swill among friends is better than nothing, right?”

I looked at Cullen, who shrugged. “Make it two and you got a deal,” I said brightly. “I think Cullen and I can stay for one drink tonight.”

_ _

* * *

Cullen woke up that morning with a splitting headache and a very large and angry bird sitting on his chest holding a note in its beak. Groaning at the pain in his head and blinking at the sunlight, he took the letter and opened the seal, wincing at every move he made. Normally, he didn’t drink that much, but Sam had taken drink after drink from Hawke, growing more boisterous and raucous with every glass- he was starting to rue the day he’d even let her have that wine on the beach. He wondered who this letter was from- he guessed it was Alistair or Leliana, but the seal was unfamiliar to him. Deciding to just get on with it so the large bird would stop staring at him, he sat upon his bed and began to read, once again thankful he had his own room. 

When he started to read the contents, his head hurt even worse.

_Rutherford,_

_Do you care to explain why my underage daughter just came home smelling like a distillery and singing at the top of her lungs? When I asked her what was going on, she just started saying ‘I met a Hawke- caw caw!’ and running around the room in a circle and started flapping her arms. I’ve seen some shit from people when they’re drunk, but this takes the cake._

_I told you I was watching you, but you assured me that Sam was your number one priority so I let it go- now I see this? Funny how you prioritize, Rutherford. I’d write more, but I’m highly pissed off and the girl is in there singing about how she has to hug a toilet._

_And now she’s puking- that’s just great. So glad I get to go and clean up your mess.. literally. Seriously, I’m sending you a bill- this is going to take some serious effort to clean up._

_I hate you so much right now,_  
_-Dean_

Cullen looked at the bird and closed his eyes, flopping back down on the bed. 

“Shit."


	2. Burritos for Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone wakes up to something a bit different from what they were expecting.

_ _

* * *

Lana woke up to someone sitting on her legs and tossing balls of paper at her face. “Sam?” Lana said, blinking rapidly. “Is that you?"

“Who else would it be?” Sam said with a grin. “It’s about time you woke up- how are you feeling? You whacked the shit out of your head last night.” 

Lana looked around the room, and her eyes settled on an item on the nightstand next to her. Curious, she picked it up and her eyes widened- it was her with Sam and another girl, holding glasses up and smiling. Shocked, she turned to Sam, pointing at the object. “What is this?”

Sam looked at her like she had two heads. “Um, that’s a picture of us at Grace’s graduation party, duh.” She smirked, hopping off the bed. “Wow, I guess you hit your head a lot harder than I thought. Guess that’s what you get for trying to impress that cute guy, huh?” 

Lana just looked at her. “What cute guy? What are you talking about?” 

“Seriously? You don’t remember?” When Lana looked at her blankly, she rolled her eyes. "We were at the ice skating rink yesterday, remember? You tried to do a spin and you knocked yourself right out trying to impress some guy. Grace and I had to carry your heavy ass home, or did you forget that part too?”

“I…” She sat up, wincing and feeling what was decidedly a huge knot in the back of her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sam."  
  
“I don’t get it,” she said as she squinted at her. "Mom wasn’t pleased about what happened, but she said you should be fine today.” Sam looked at her curiously. “Do you need me to go get Mom?”

“Um, I think that might be best,” Lana admitted. “I may need a bit of help.”

“Sure thing,” Sam said, patting her on the shoulder. “Sit tight- I’ll send her up and I’ll go get you breakfast. Sausage and egg burrito with a large coffee, right?” 

Despite being confused beyond belief, Lana's mouth began to water. “That sounds wonderful, Sam- thanks.” 

Sam just waved as she walked out the door, leaving Lana in the strange room. She was struggling to keep her rising panic at bay as she got up, noticing that she was wearing the same pants she had seen Sam wearing when she first met her. Tentatively walking around, she walked over to the looking glass and gasped at her reflection, clapping a hand to her mouth in surprise. Everything else about her was normal- same tall frame, same freckled face, same red hair... but it was her eyes that made her cry out in alarm.

Instead of being the bright blue she was used to, her eyes were now the color of emeralds… just like Sam’s.

Stumbling forward, she peered at them even closer, touching her hands to her face and trying to reconcile what she knew of the world with what she was seeing in front of her. 

“I see you’ve woken up,” a voice called out from the doorway. “How are you doing?”

“Maker!” Surprised, Lana whirled around to see Sam’s mother leaning against the doorframe and smiling at her. “You startled me!”

“Technically, it’s more appropriate to say 'Jesus Christ’ in this world, since the Maker doesn’t exist here, but do whatever makes you feel comfortable,” Nia said, walking over and sitting in the chair. “Have a seat, Lana- I suspect you have a few questions for me.”

“That’s an understatement,” Lana said shakily, pushing her hair from her face. “To start, where am I? Am I dead?” 

“You would start with the hard questions,” Nia said with a smile. “In your world, yes- quite dead, as a matter of fact. Here, not so much."

Lana frowned. "Is this the Fade? Am I surrounded by demons?” She squinted at the woman, looking carefully for any signs. She knew demons were tricky, but she couldn’t sense anything coming off her that resembled the denizens of the Fade. “It doesn’t feel like the Fade, though… it feels,” she looked around, taking in the room. “It feels real,” she said quietly. 

“That bump on your head should have cued you to that fact,” Nia said dryly. “It’s as real as you want it to be. I couldn’t save you in your world, but I could take you somewhere else… a world with no magic. No mages, no templars, no elves, no darkspawn… just a mundane human existence as Sam’s sister.” She pointed to her face and smiled. “Hence the eye color."

“Is this the same Sam?” Lana asked cautiously. “She feels… lighter, if that makes sense.”

“I suppose she would,” Nia said thoughtfully. “Grace never left in this timeline, so she had no reason to leave. And even if she did, there’s no magic here, so I suppose Sam would be a bit different.” The woman shrugged. “Makes sense- I hadn’t really thought about it. I just figured you needed a change. And to not be dead,” she added quickly. 

Lana glanced around nervously, taking in the surroundings.”I’m afraid I don’t know much about what’s going on here. I feel lost, m’lady.”

“That’s gotta change, first and foremost,” Nia said casually. “Nia Roberts-Winchester, at your service, preferably ‘Mom’ when you’re around everyone else. In this world, I’m a doctor and the wrangler of the Roberts girls… which would be you three.” She grinned, then pulled out a small book from behind her. “Second, this should help you, as you seem to actually be inclined to read, unlike Sam.”

She stared at her quizzically. “What’s this?”

“A guide,” she replied plainly. “Anything you need to know about what’s going on around you, this should help you figure it out.” She pointed to the nightstand. “Your phone is over there- you should probably go get it so I can show you how to use it. You’ll be lost if you don’t know how to use one around here.” Lana started to protest, but Nia just placed a hand on hers, sending a warm tingle up her arm. “Trust me,” she said quietly. “When someone shows you something or you read about it, you’ll understand how to handle it. Consider it a welcome to the world gift.”

“I don’t know how to feel about this,” Lana said softly, watching as Nia went through the phone and taking in everything the woman showed her. “If I’m to be honest, this is all a bit sad.” 

“I can see that,” she said matter-of-factly, patting her on the shoulder. "Give it a chance- it’s better than being dead, right?” 

“On that, we can agree,” Lana said, taking the phone and shifting it from hand to hand. “I suppose I should thank you for my second chance.”

Nia gave a non-committal shrug. “Meh… don’t thank me just yet.” She smiled, then stood up from the chair. “But enough of this- it’s time for you to enjoy yourself for a little while, Lana. With all you’ve given, the world owes you this, at least.” She placed a kiss on the top of her head, patting her shoulder as she headed for the door. “Just remember what I told you and you’ll be fine.” 

Lana frowned. “You’ve told me a lot of things- how am I to know which thing I should be remembering?” 

“You’ll know what it is when the time comes,” Nia said with a smile. “But for now, that's all I can tell you.”

“Sam always did say you were infuriatingly obtuse,” Lana grumbled, crossing her arms and staring at the woman. “Now I’m starting to see what she meant.”

“Spoken just like a daughter of mine,” Nia said with a merry laugh. “Don’t worry… I can see you’re going to be just fine."


	3. Drinks and decisions (9:32 Dragon)

_ _

* * *

_Sam_ , Cullen said, interrupting a training session between me and Mom, _Hawke would like to know if you would like to join us for a drink._

_No drinking, thank you. I’m still recovering from the hangover I got last week._

_Last week? That was almost two months ago, and you do realize I’ve been fending off your cousin ever since, right?_ Cullen sighed. _He comes to the Gallows, Sam._

 _And?_ I asked, confused about why this was such a problem. _Is this something that he shouldn’t do?_

 _Sam, it’s Hawke... in the Gallows… with his crew._ Cullen sighed. _It’s a level of torture Alistair could only dream of inflicting upon me. The man is a damnable pain in my side on a good day and makes me want to sail off a cliff on the others. He’s taken to screaming ‘Cousin’ every time he sees me, and I’ve had to deflect fifteen questions about him this week alone._

I laughed and Mom hit me in the head with a nerf dart. “You aren’t focusing, Sam. Tell your husband I said hello, then go and save him from that merry band of miscreants- we were almost done anyway.” She gave me a wry smile. “If you get too drunk, you may want to stay out there- your dad wasn’t too pleased last time.”

 _I’ll say_ , Cullen replied. _By the way, I can hear her, so please let your dad know I sincerely apologize-_

“You can save your breath,” Mom said with a laugh. “He got your letter. Just give him time. He’ll come around… eventually.”

“That’s really annoying, Mom,” I whined, rubbing my head. "What if this was a private conversation?”

“But it wasn’t, so it doesn’t matter,” she said simply, putting away the nerf gun. “Now, get out of here and go have fun.”

“One last question- how am I able to stay the whole night?” I asked Mom. “I usually get kicked out and brought back here.”

“I was feeling generous,” she said with a shrug. “I’m also not feeling your dad getting all up in arms if you get into a state where you're… less than coherent. I believe your husband should bear some of that responsibility, don’t you?”

 _I’ll gladly take on that burden if it means I get to spend my whole night with you,_ Cullen replied.

Mom rolled her eyes. “You say that now, Rutherford, but I’ve seen her sister. You just might be biting off more than you can chew."

—

“Welcome back, Cousin!” Hawke exclaimed. “I was sure the templar had locked you away somewhere so he wouldn’t have to share you with us- glad to see you’re ok!” He raced over and hugged me. “It’s good to see you, Sam.”

At this point, I couldn’t let him think I was his actual relation, particularly if it was causing undue grief for Cullen. “Hawke,” I said with a sigh. “Lana wasn’t my actual sister, and I like you guys too much to lie to you. I wanted to tell you last time, but being with you and Bethany-“

“Was like having a little bit of Lana back,” he finished, pulling me close. “And I hear what you’re saying, but that’s rubbish, Sam. Lana called you her sister, right?” 

I nodded. “Right to the end.”

“And you were there for her till the very last, correct?” Hawke asked softly. "Did you leave her side?” 

“Never,” I said, shaking my head. “I almost died freezing time to have one last moment with Lana. If I could still be with her, I would."

Smiling, he squeezed my shoulders. “Then you are an Amell, through and through. And that means Curly is still my cousin!” Hawke sang loudly. “Aren’t you just as giddy as I am about that?”

“Overjoyed,” Cullen said flatly. “Just as I’m sure everyone in the Gallows is.”

“What, is the big scary templar afraid that someone could find out he’s got a personality?” Anders said from the corner of the room. “Perish the thought- we wouldn’t want word to get out that you’re not all mindless murdering zealots, now would we?"

“Now now, let’s not harass the templar today- we’ve got guests,” Varric said, winking at me as he came up from the bar with Bethany, holding a tray of drinks. “Besides, we did solve that pesky blood mage issue you had- you could be a little more personable, Curly.”

“And for that I am grateful, but would everyone please stop calling me that?” My husband glared across the table. "It’s not my fault my damnable hair does whatever it wants to.” 

“I like your hair,” I whispered in his ear. “And if I recall correctly, you’re quite fond of me running my hands through it.” 

“Oh no,” Hawke said as Cullen began to blush, “I’m not going to sit here and watch you guys engage in foreplay while we’re all around- break it up, you two!” Hawke wagged a finger at us. “Curly, as Sam’s oldest family member here, I’m going to have to insist you stop pawing at our dear Sam unless you’re prepared to make an honest woman out of her.”

Varric let out a snort, almost spitting out his ale. I glared at the dwarf, crossing my arms. “I love how you barely know me from Adam’s house cat and yet you’ve adopted me, Hawke.” 

“Not sure what a cat has to do with it, but I tend to adopt strays around here, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Hawke chided, tweaking my nose. “You just have a better claim than most.”

“I’m not so sure you'd want to adopt me,” I said sadly. “I’m a little broken nowadays.”

“Nonsense,” Bethany said as she hugged me. “We all have things we’re working through- being with family and friends helps with that. Also, we’re not trying to replace Lana, just like you can’t replace Carver,” she said quietly. “It’s not bad… just different.”

“Who was Carver?” I asked, placing a hand on hers. “But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s ok too.”

“Our brother,” Hawke said, running his finger on the rim of his glass. “Her twin. He died on the way here from Lothering. Damned ogre killed him on the way out of the city.”

I paled. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t know-“

Hawke shrugged, taking a swig of his beer. “Nothing you could've done about it, Sparrow. Just glad I’ve got my two girls with me now,” he said as he wrapped his arms around us. Though I think Mom is going to have a fit if Bethany comes with me on the deep roads excursion.”

When he said that, I was hit with the sensation of viewing a major branch. Taking a minute to pour over the threads, I gasped, causing Cullen to look over at me with concern. “I… I need a minute, Hawke,” I said, pushing my way out of the room. “I’ll… I’ll be back."

“Sam!” Hawke called out from behind me. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

I didn’t answer- I just kept going.

_ _

* * *

Cullen knew Sam had seen something, but the way she reacted meant that the revelation had rattled her to the core, and he bolted out of the room after her. “Sam,” he said when he caught up to her at the end of the hallway, crying in a small ball, “tell me what’s going on, love? What’s wrong?”

“It’s you,” she whispered. “And Bethany.”

He looked at her in alarm. “What about me and Bethany? You have to know that I would never-“

She shook her head violently. “Not like that… It’s a choice. Dammit, Cullen, I didn’t want to get involved with this shit out here- this is not my world and these are not my fucking problems!”

He sat on the floor, taking her in his arms and kissing the top of her head. “I’m afraid this is still your world, like it or not. Still married to a resident, remember?” Cullen looked down at her shaking form and realized at that moment, she might not even want him anymore. “That is... if you still want to be.” 

“I always want you,” she said bitterly. “But I don’t want to be involved in this kind of thing. I want to stay out of it- my knowledge didn’t help Lana, and it won’t help here.”

“Now you’re exaggerating,” he said with a smile. “You know that you two accomplished more than anyone could have ever dreamed, love. Now tell me,” he said as he rubbed her back. “What did you see?”

“Yes, dear cousin, what did you see?” Hawke asked, stepping out from the shadows. “I think we all need to hear it. And we,” he replied curtly as he looked at Cullen, “need to talk about something you just mentioned.”

“Were you spying on us?” Sam asked incredulously. “How the hell did you do that without us seeing you?”

“I’m a rogue,” he said simply, reaching a hand out to pull Sam to her feet. “It doesn’t just mean that I’m ruggedly handsome and dashing with a knife, you know.” Hawke glared at Cullen. “Sounds like you two have been withholding information, doesn’t it.”

“Not really, we just never offered it.” Sam shrugged. “Besides, it’s only the second time I’ve met you- why would I tell you all that?”

“Um, because we’re family?” Hawke jerked his thumb at Cullen as they walked back into the room. “And I’ve been hanging around this man for months- you’d think he’d have filled me in by now.”

 _Doesn’t mean I trust you,_ Cullen thought as he sat down wearily on the sofa. However, he knew Sam was still upset, so he kept his thoughts to himself. “Sam,” he asked patiently, "what did you see?”

“See? What do you mean, ’see’?" Hawke asked quizzically. “What’s he talking about, Sam?”

She let out a deep sigh, slumping into the seat on the sofa next to Cullen and burying her face in his side. “I don’t want to talk about this. If you want, you can tell him- I think I just want to go home.”

Cullen shook his head. “You’re not leaving me with this, love.” He looked up at the expectant faces and let out a sigh of his own. “Sam sees possible outcomes based on the decisions you make. Certain things trigger what she calls branches… places where your destiny can go based on the choices you make. It appears she saw one regarding me and Bethany.”

“You’re married to my cousin!” Hawke squawked as he balled his fists up and stalking over to the couch. “And now mean to tell me you’re telling me you're fucking my sister?” Varric raced over and stepped between them, but Hawke kept yelling. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t gut him right now!"

“Whoa, hold up- they’re married?” Anders asked, looking back and forth between Cullen and Sam. “Meredith’s lackey and a mage, married! Holy shit, this is even better than free drinks!” Then he paused and snapped his head to Bethany. “Wait, you’re fucking your cousin’s husband?”

“I didn’t know they were married!” Bethany screeched. “And besides, I’m not fucking him!” 

Sam sighed, sounding desperate to stop the chaos Cullen was gradually growing used to. “He’s not sleeping with Bethany, guys.” She gave a sad look to her cousin. “I saw three outcomes for you when Hawke goes to the deep roads, Bethany- none of them are all that great.” 

Bethany gave her a look. “And what does this have to do with him, Sam?”

Anders looked around the room and threw up his hands. “Is no one in this room going to question how any of this works? We’re just going to take this at face value? Sam just says she sees our destiny and no one goes, ‘Hmm, that sounds strange?’” When no one responded, he shook his head and leaned back into his chair. “Fucking idiots.”

Sam glared at the blond mage, then turned back to Bethany. “If you go into the Deep Roads and Anders doesn’t go, you die. If he goes, you become a Grey Warden. If you stay…” She looked at Cullen, then looked down, playing with her dress. “If you stay, Cullen and the templars take you to the Circle.” 

Cullen felt the blood drain from his face. “She’s not wrong- there have been rumors of us having to go round up apostates in Lowtown, but I never thought it would be Bethany.” Cullen looked at Bethany, feeling like a horrible person. "If I knew, I would have told you… of that, you can be sure- I would never do something like that to my wife’s family on purpose.” He sighed, running his fingers along the back of his neck. “It would make sense, though- if they thought I was related to Bethany, they would make me go with them to apprehend her as a show of strength. And Hawke has certainly made our status as relations very clear over the last few weeks.”

“Shit,” Hawke said, flopping in a nearby chair. “He’s not wrong.” 

“Bethany, what do you want?” Sam asked gently. “You have two choices- the Circle or the Wardens. Any other choice is death, I’m sorry.”

She looked at Sam, her mouth pressed in a thin line. “Do you know how this will come about?”

Sam shook her head. “No, I only see outcomes and choices- I don’t see how it happens. I only got the vision because Hawke decided that he was taking you with him.” She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry- I didn’t want to get involved in any of this.” She stood up, leaning over to kiss Cullen and smiling sadly. “I’m going home. You can call me later, ok?”

He looked up at her in alarm. “Sam, please don’t-“   
  
But his protests were of no use- Sam vanished before he could finish his sentence, leaving Cullen with four shocked faces awaiting answers he was in no mood to give. 

_ _

* * *

  
Varric had seen a lot of things while traveling with Hawke, but Sam disappearing in front of them after taking about Sunshine’s fate was not something he’d expected to see. Astonished, he turned to the templar, who had his head in his hands. _Funny, he’s not surprised about this- that’s interesting._

Anders looked at Cullen, mouth agape. “Not a mage, huh? How do you explain that? She just fade-stepped!” He angrily gestured to where Sam had been standing, then glared at the Knight-Captain. “And you married her? I swear, you templars are something else, you know that? It’s okay to keep us mages down and make us tranquil when we piss you off, but you look the other way when it’s convenient for you! What, do you conveniently forget about the fact that you’ve neutered countless other mages when you have your way with her? “

“That is my wife you’re talking about, Anders,” Cullen sniped, his face flush with anger. “I will not tolerate you disrespecting her like that!”

“Nor I, Anders,” Hawke said quietly, coming to rest his hand on the shoulder of the irritated mage and stroking his back. “There’s no need for this."

Varric noticed the light touch but said nothing. Hawke had been keeping an eye on Anders for a minute, and any fool with eyes could see that Hawke was smitten with the mage. Ordinarily, he might tease them a little to get them to acknowledge that they cared about each other, but they had bigger problems at the moment. “Curly, what do we do about Sunshine over here? None of what Sparrow said sounds good. Is there anything you can do?”

Cullen sighed. “If she goes to the Circle, I can keep an eye on her. If she goes to the Wardens, I’m sure that Sam can convince Alistair to take her under his wing and keep her safe. However, I would not recommend her going to the Wardens.” He looked at Bethany for a moment, then looked back at Hawke. “I’ve seen the sacrifices Wardens have to make- I don’t want Sam to be put in that position again."

The dwarf gave him a look- it was obvious the templar wasn’t telling the whole truth. “Does Sparrow do this kinda thing often? And let’s just ask the obvious question- where did she go? Does this have anything to do with the fact that unless you’re around, no one can ever find her?”

“As she and I have both told you, Sam is not a mage,” Cullen said plainly as he put his head in his hands. “She’s also not from Kirkwall.”

“That much I gathered,” Varric replied, looking over at Hawke to see if he had anything to add. “Still doesn’t explain the disappearing- she doesn’t exist in this town, Curly.”

“She wouldn’t,” Cullen agreed. When everyone just stared at the templar, he closed his eyes and pulled his ring out from his shirt. “She’s from a place far away from here, but we can talk wherever she is because of our rings. However, I’m not willing to share the rest of her story- if she wishes to tell you, she will.”

“And you expect us to just accept that?” Anders asked suspiciously. “I heard about what happened back in Kinloch- I guess those blood mages did a number on your mind if you think that’s what’s going to happen here.”

“To quote Sam- you can just fuck off, Anders,” Cullen snapped. “I know my wife and I’m not willing to listen to you doubt what I’ve seen and lived through- you are welcome to believe whatever you want, but the bigger issue is what Bethany wishes to do. If we’re not going to talk about that, then I have no reason to be here.”

Bethany walked over to put a hand on his shoulder and then looked as if she thought better of it, drawing her hand back and settling it on her staff. “Is there a way you can call Sam and ask her to come back?”

Cullen nodded, then closed his eyes. After a few moments he reopened his eyes, a frown pressed on his lips. “She says that once was enough for her and she's not willing to get involved in our affairs again.” The templar let out a sigh, then ran his fingers through his curly hair. “My goodness... that woman certainly is stubborn when she wants to be.”

Varric looked at Bethany, who looked as taut as a rubber band. “Sunshine, this is all about you... what’s on your mind?”

The girl looked away. “If I have the choice, I’d rather go to the circle.” She turned to Hawke and gave him an apologetic look. “I know that father did everything to keep me from going to one, but I would rather go there and practice my magic instead of being a warrior for the rest of my life.” Then she turned to Cullen, who was looking at her with sadness in his eyes. “Do you promise, on my cousin’s life, to watch out for me and protect me? I’ve heard the things they try in your Circle, Cullen- I do not want that to be my fate.”

“Sam and I will protect you and if Sam cannot help, I will seek counsel from my mother in law to assure your safety,” Cullen replied. “Sam and I kept Lana safe as long as she allowed us to- we can do the same for you.”

“Sam just said she doesn’t want anything to do with our problems,” Hawke replied bitterly. “She just ran away from us- what makes you so sure she’ll help?” 

Cullen just stared and gave him a wistful smile. “Because that’s what she does, Hawke. Eventually, she helps.” He shook his head sadly. “Even when she doesn’t want to…and especially for her family. She’s not the type to stand by and watch something happen to people she cares about.”

“I don’t know if she cares about us all that much,” Hawke replied. “She looks like she’s trying to stay away from us.”

“She’s trying to harden her heart against being hurt again,” Cullen replied. “We lost Lana and she’s searching for her other sister. Sam thinks if she keeps her distance she won’t feel that sense of loss anymore."

“But nothing stops that feeling,” Bethany said quietly. “You just get used to it.”

“Then maybe she needs to talk to you about it,” Varric replied, looking at the templar. “What about it, Curly? Think you can get Sam to talk to Sunshine for a little while?”

“Hey, I’m hurting too,” Hawke pouted from his corner of the room and crossing his arms. “I could share my experience and offer comfort.”

“The only comfort you offer comes in either liquid form or in a bedroom,” Anders retorted. “I hardly think either is appropriate.” Then the mage turned to look at Bethany. “You honestly think that the templar and his weird little mage are going to keep you safe from Meredith and her cronies in there? I wouldn’t take that chance if I were you.” 

“There’s only so much besmirching of the honor of me and my wife I’m going to take, Anders,” Cullen replied in a clipped tone. “Neither Sam nor I have done anything untoward to you, yet you insist on being a right shit to both of us at every turn. Why is this?”

“Because she’s wrong,” Anders said vehemently. “She’s a mage but she doesn’t have a presence in the Fade- I know because Justice can’t find her. Not to mention that she just drops in from nowhere and everyone loves her, but no one knows where she comes from or where she disappears to-“

“I know her… that’s enough,” Cullen said pointedly. “And she’s part of the reason we aren’t drowning in darkspawn right now, so watch your tongue, Anders. Sam has done and lost more for this world than you know, so give her the respect she’s due."

Varric sighed- Anders wasn’t wrong to be leery, but he also recognized that the templar wasn’t one to trust lightly. Even after they helped the Knight-Captain with the blood mages that were targeting his recruits, he was still keeping them at arm's length. He could understand why- they were new and he wasn’t one to get close to people, which seemed like a trait he and the girl shared. _Maybe that’s why they’re so close_ , he mused. _When you see the world go to hell in front of you, you might be less inclined to let more of it in._ “Curly, I get it- you two are two riddles wrapped up in a mystery and you don’t want to share everything with us, but Sunshine is part of our family. I’m not willing to let this go until I know she’s gonna be safe.” He crossed his arms and stared at Cullen for a moment, trying to read the expression on his face. “We did you a favor… now it's time for you and the Mrs. to do the same.”

_ _

* * *

I was sitting on my back porch, listening to music and pondering an odd dream I'd had recently when I heard Cullen in my head again. _Sam, please talk to me._

 _No,_ I replied simply. _I just want to be alone for a bit. Considering you’re on the other side of the universe that shouldn’t be so hard, should it?_ I frowned, taking the earbud out of my ear. _I was perfectly content sitting on the porch and listening to music by myself._

_It’s been days here, love- I'm sorry, but I need to talk with you._

_It’s been minutes for me,_ I retorted. _Or have you forgotten?_

 _I know better than that- If you truly wanted distance,_ Cullen replied slowly, _you would’ve synced your time with mine. Hawke leaves tomorrow, and Bethany needs to talk to you._

_What part of ‘I don’t want to be involved’ are you people missing? Do I need to make a sign? Because I can do that if it’ll help get the point across._

Cullen sighed. _I get that you’re still hurting, Sam, I do. But if you’ve accepted Lana as family, then they are your family too. And the Samantha Rutherford I know has never abandoned her family and friends- are you sure you want to start now?_

 _Why do you care,_ I huffed. _You don’t even like them, and they don’t know us. What difference does it make if we help them or not?_

 _Because I know if something bad were to happen and you didn’t help, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself._ I could tell he was trying to be patient with me and I relented a little, willing myself to listen to what he had to say. _Be reasonable, Sam- you are not a cold-hearted person. You care, whether you wish to admit it or not._

 _I don’t want to care,_ I replied sadly. _I want to go back to just watching._

 _I think it’s a little late for that_ , he replied, his voice comforting and warm. _But please, go talk to Bethany before they leave. If you won’t do it for them, do it for me- as you say, I’m involved in one of her choices, and if that is the choice she chooses to make, then I vowed to keep her safe at all costs. Help me help her,_ he pleaded. 

I groaned. I had no desire to help, but I knew that Cullen was right- if I didn’t help and something happened, I would never forgive myself for it. And if I was being honest, that was probably why I told them what I saw in the first place. _I guess I’ll go,_ I relented. _For you. But I refuse to go to a bar. And I’m not changing clothes- I’m in my pajamas and I’m comfy right now. If they want my help, they’re going to have to accept me how I am._

 _Does that mean you’re wearing the pants with the owls on them again?_ Cullen teased. _If so, care to stop by my room afterward? I find that outfit oddly endearing on you._

 _You’re terrible,_ I said, finally laughing. _But I love you._

 _And I love you_ , he replied. _Do you need me to go with you?_

 _No,_ I said, sighing and pulling my hair in a ponytail and putting my phone away. _I’ll do this one myself. No need to freak anyone out with a templar coming up to their door… or make them think you’re courting her,_ I teased. 

_Maker’s breath, I’m never living that one down, am I?_

_Probably not,_ I replied, getting my bag and setting my watch. _It’s too amazing to not bring up every chance I get._  
\--  
When I approached the clinic in Lowtown, I discovered that there were more people than just Bethany in the small space. Taking a moment to get a feel for what was going on, I realized that Hawke and Anders were also in the room with her. While Hawke was okay, Anders was not my biggest fan at all- I wondered what I had done that set the blonde mage on edge. If I didn’t know how major Bethany’s choice was, I might have turned around to avoid the man, but I was out of options. Steeling myself for the inevitable argument that was bound to occur, I plastered a smile on my face and walked into the room. “Hi, guys! Thought I was just meeting Bethany, but the more the merrier, right?”

“I don’t know what you can do,” Anders said. “And I don’t trust you with my friends. Your templar seems to think you’re not a threat, but he can purge your magic, so we're kind of at a disadvantage here.”

I rolled my eyes. “Once again, I’m not a mage, so he can’t purge my magic.” Anders and Bethany got extremely surprised looks on their faces and I shrugged. “We tried it once- didn’t do a thing.”

“You two have some really weird ideas on how to have a good time,” Hawke said, crossing the room to hug me. “But it’s nice to see you, Sam.” Then he pulled back and took a look at my clothes. “And what in the Maker are you wearing?”

“My pajamas,” I said with a shrug, pulling out my sketchbook and sitting on the ground. “You guys mind if I draw while we talk? Having pictures of you helps settle me, and I can give you back your tokens.” Ignoring the dirty look Anders was giving me, I pulled out a bag of skittles, offering the candy to the Hawke siblings. “Lana used to love it when I would bring treats. Thought you guys might want to try some. Figured it could be kind of a peace offering since Cullen kinda pointed out that I’ve been a bit… cold lately.” I popped one of the candies in my mouth, smiling sadly. “Chocolate was our thing… thought I would try something new here.”

“Carver used to love sweets,” Bethany said, reaching over to take one of the candies from the bag. “Anytime Mother would make treats, he was always first to sample them. When she put the candy into her mouth, her whole face brightened. “It’s so sweet!” She turned excitedly to Hawke as she took another. “You should try this!”

Hawke sauntered over, plucking one from the bag and popping it into his mouth. After a moment, he gave a nod of approval and took another. “You’re a weird one, there’s no doubt about that.” He grinned at me, then ate the other candy. “But I can’t deny that Carver would have wrestled you to the ground for the bag of these. Anders, you should stop brooding and come try one of these- you keep acting like that and I won't be able to tell you and Fenris apart.”

“If it’s poison I’m not healing any of you,” he warned, taking some candy from the bag and eyeing it warily. “Could be some new trap designed to make us easier to capture… you never know.”

“Oh stop it,” I said, sketching his lanky figure in my book. “Though I admit, that scowl makes you look rather sexy. It's really good for imposing artwork, see?” I turned the book around to him. “Started it after the last time I was here- thought you were interesting to draw, so I wanted to finish it.”

“Do you have any pictures of Lana in there?” Hawke asked, moving towards the book. “I’d like to see them if you do.”

“Sure,” I said, flipping back to some earlier pages in my book. “I have all of Team Mage in here. Haven’t looked at them recently, but…” I shrugged. “You get it.”

“Tell us about them," Bethany said as she came to sit next to me. Even Anders sat down, no longer standing over me and glaring, surreptitiously reaching in the bag ever so often for a candy. “I want to hear about your adventures.”

“This is Lana and me,” I said, pointing to a picture and trying to fight the tears that were pooling behind my eyes. “We were hiding in a room in Kinloch, talking about magic this day. It was the first time I ever gave her candy.” I laughed as I wiped my eyes, handing the book to Hawke and Bethany. “She was amazing.”

“I remember this room,” Anders said softly, looking at the book. “I used to hide in here sometimes.” He looked over at me, a softer expression on his face. “What are you, Sam?” 

“A watcher,” I said quietly, watching as the Hawke’s flipped through my sketchbook. “My only job was to watch, but I met the best friend I’ve ever had.” I looked down, playing with the drawstring on my pajamas, then tracing around of one of the owls on my pants. “And I lost her.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up, completely surprised to see Anders staring at me. “Then don’t let us lose Bethany, Sam. What can we do to make sure she stays safe? I’m against it, but she says she’d rather go to the Circle.”

“I figured as much,” I said, looking at the girl. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll help. Maybe Mom can help me make you a long-term incognito charm to keep everyone away from you.”

Anders looked confused. “How would that happen? And if you aren’t a mage, how can you make something like that?”

“She made me one,” I said, pointing to my hair tie. “Nobody notices me until I want them to, so maybe I can get her to help me make something like it to keep away anyone who would harm Bethany. Between that and Cullen watching out for her, that should be enough.”

“You think she would?” Bethany asked nervously, taking another candy and chewing thoughtfully. “I’m nervous, but if we can pull this off… that would go a long way towards making this bearable. And,” she asked shyly, “would you be able to visit me?”

“Of course,” I said, taking her hand. “According to your brother, we’re family, right?”

“Thought you didn’t want to be involved with us?” Hawke said, wrapping his arm around me and ruffling my hair. “What, are we just too irresistible to say no to? Is it the hair? Is it the scar? Ladies love the scar, you know.”

“Yeah Hawke," I said, finally laughing at the dark-haired rogue. “It’s totally the scar."


	4. Maybe I should lay off the coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lana and Sam go out for coffee; Lana discovers the mall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a reward to myself for getting ahead on my writing, I'm posting this early! Yay for snowstorms, I guess.

_ _

* * *

“So… did you call him?” Sam asked as they walked through what Lana discovered was called the mall. All the people in one place with the cacophony of sights and sounds were overwhelming, but Lana could see why Sam had wrinkled her nose when she arrived in Denerim- while New Jersey was full of smells, they were much more pleasant than the ones she was used to. 

“Um...” Lana hesitated, not wanting to admit that she had no clue as to what the girl was talking about. True to form, Lana found that this version of Sam was still allergic to silence- she often found that if she just waited a few moments, Sam would inevitably pick up the conversation thread and buy her a little time. Taking a moment to sip her delicious beverage known as an iced coffee, she shrugged. “Not yet. I’m afraid I don’t remember him enough to warrant placing a phone call.”

Inwardly, Lana felt a swell of pride at remembering the proper terminology- the last few hours had been an exercise in reading and subterfuge, with only minor missteps in between. The first had occurred when she tried to go outside without what she discovered was a coat- Sam had looked at her like she was crazy, and Nia had gently chided her to go and get her coat from the hall closet. She didn’t understand the point of the extra layers- in the jeans and sweater she had found in her room, she felt more than equipped for the cold, but when she stepped outside into the blistering wind, she was glad she grabbed the puffy monstrosity. The second had occurred when Sam pulled her onto the moving staircase to the second floor of the building, where she nearly fell flat on her face- she'd been extra careful after that encounter. 

“Then we should fix that, don’t 'cha think?” Sam grinned mischievously. "Come on- I bet he’s still working today. Plus, we did say we’d let him know if you felt better- I didn’t do all that work getting his number for nothing, lady!” She grabbed her arm and began pulling her toward the sheet of ice that had people milling about it in the center of the mall, almost causing Lana to spill her coffee as she tried to keep up with Sam's determined strides. 

“Sam… I don’t think…” she tried to protest. “This may not be the best idea,” Lana spluttered. “I’m still not feeling completely myself…”

The girl ignored her, dragging her to a tall man who had his back to them. From this angle, she could tell that he was built well with sandy-brown hair, but she couldn’t hear him over the maddening music that was playing around them. Finally, they drew closer and Sam came to a stop behind the man, tapping him on the shoulder. “Yo, you told us to let you know how the dumbass girl who knocked herself stupid was… figured I’d bring her over and let you see your little shindig over here didn’t murder her.”

At her odd introduction, the man jumped and turned around, glaring at Sam. “Would you quit sneaking up on me? I swear...” 

His voice trailed off when he saw her, and Lana’s heart practically stopped beating- if she hadn’t been holding onto the railing, she would have probably knocked herself senseless again. As it was, she was having trouble remembering how to breathe- those deep brown eyes, that damnable smile, that voice… 

_Alistair_. 

“I…I… it’s you,” she whispered, clapping her hand to her mouth and willing herself not to cry. “I can’t believe it.”

"I can’t say that being me has ever had that kind of effect on a girl before.” He gave her a warm smile, then leaned against the rail. “Hopefully it’s not just the concussion talking.”

“Uh… no… I’m fine,” she stammered. “I’m Lana Am-,” she shook her head, correcting herself- she’d noticed that people often didn’t give out surnames when introducing themselves here. _Plus, you're a Roberts now, remember?_ “Lana,” she said, extending her hand to him. “Pleasure to meet you…”

“Alistair,” he said with a smile, taking her hand and shaking it. His touch was solid, firm, and real… something she never thought she’d feel again. “Glad to see you’re doing better… I think.” 

“Fine… I’m fine- better than fine, fit as a fiddle, that’s me,” she rambled, pushing her hair out of her face and trying not to stare at him. She let out a deep breath, then placed her hand on her hip. “Did I mention I was Lana?”

“I believe you have,” he said with a grin. “But no worries- you telling me a few times just means I’ll be sure to not forget it.” 

She bit her lip, trying to stop herself from blurting out the burning question on her mind, but it was of no use- her mouth was moving faster than her brain. “What are you doing here?” 

Sam hit herself in the face and groaned, but Alistair let out a loud laugh. “Working, sadly- suffice it to say I’d be much happier getting a bite to eat with you, but these blades won’t sharpen themselves,” he said with a grin. 

“You could always do it later,” Sam suggested helpfully, gesturing to her sister's half-empty coffee cup. “Lana, you like coffee, right? Aren’t you available to go out for coffee sometime?”

“Are we sure she needs more coffee?” Alistair said with a grin. “Maybe dinner would be more appropriate- less caffeine involved that way.”

Sam clapped Lana on the shoulder, pushing her toward Alistair. “Lana, that’s a _great_ idea! What do you think?” She poked her in the ribs, leaning against the railing of the rink. “If you don’t say yes right now, I’m going to murder you in your sleep, Lana.”

“Yes, I would love to go to dinner,” Lana said quickly, giving him a bright smile. “There is nothing I would like more than to spend time with you,” she replied honestly. 

Alistair beamed at her, but Sam groaned. “We _really_ have to work on your social skills,” Sam muttered.

“Well, you have my number, but I don’t have yours,” he said shyly. “Since you didn’t text me back, I think you have me at a disadvantage… Lana.”

“Oh…” she turned to Sam, feeling helpless- she didn’t know what to do right then, but she knew deep in her soul that she was behaving like an idiot and sliding even further away from any hope of redemption. “I… I will send you a text!” Lana exclaimed proudly, beaming at Alistair. “This way, you can return my message.” 

While she was proud of her solution to the problem at hand, Sam was looking at her with an expression of abject horror. “Lana…” she hissed, “what in the entire fuck is wrong with you? Have you lost your goddamn mind?”

“I’m still waiting on that text, Lana,” Alistair said with a grin. “Unless you don’t actually want to go out…”

“No, not at all!” Lana exclaimed, then realized what she had said and hit herself in the face. “Wait, that’s not what I meant! I- blast!” she hissed, finally taking out her phone and selecting the node that had the name ‘Alistair’ attached to it and typing a quick message. “I’ve sent it... Sorry, that bump must have affected me more than I thought,” she said with a smile. “I’ll be right as rain for dinner, rest assured.” 

“How about tomorrow?” Alistair asked. “I’m not used to someone being this interested in what I have to say, so I think I’m going to take advantage before you come to your senses,” he said with that heart-melting smile of his. “Can I send you a message with the details?” Not trusting herself to respond, Lana nodded, sure she was smiling like a bloody idiot. However, Alistair didn’t seem to mind her lunacy- he rested a hand on her shoulder, giving her a light squeeze. “I’m going to head back to work before I get fired, but it was nice to see you… _Lana_.” She laughed and placed her hand on his, making him blush and grin. “I’ll text you later, ok?”

He waved and she mirrored his gesture, watching as he walked back into the office. Sighing with happiness, she leaned against the rail, watching as he took his place back inside the small shack with the ice skates. Lana was certain she could have sat there all day gazing after him, but she was jolted out of her trance by Sam shaking her arm frantically, gazing intently at her phone. “Yo, space cadet, we gotta go."

Shaking herself, she turned to look at Sam. “Is everything alright?” 

“Nope- it’s Grace,” she said, her face tight. “We gotta get home ASAP- her and John got mugged today.”   
\--  
When they burst into the house, Lana found the girl that she assumed to be Grace sitting on the couch with a thin, red-haired man with no shirt and a nasty-looking bruise on his chest. Though he looked exhausted, he was smiling at Grace while Nia was standing over him, arms crossed. “Seems like you were pretty lucky there, John. A few inches left and we’d certainly be having a different conversation.” She fixed the young man with a stern stare. “I still think we should be at the hospital- you could’ve died today.”

“Nah,” he said with a drawl. “No need- it’s a couple of busted ribs,” he said with a dismissive gesture, leaning back against the couch. “What are they gonna do that we can’t do here... besides start charging me a fuckton of money?” 

“What the hell is going on?” Sam exclaimed, running over to comfort a crying Grace, leaving a shocked Lana to stand in the doorway. “Who the fuck still gets mugged? I thought we’d moved on to the age of the snatch and grab?” 

“Apparently, your sister didn’t get the memo,” John drawled, starting to reach for a cigarette before Nia glared at him. Giving her mom a sheepish grin, he smiled at Sam, putting the cigarette packet away. “Some bald asshole stole Sunshine’s shit and she chased him down. Of course, this would be the one time where the bastard actually did have a gun,” he said with a chuckle, wincing as he shifted in his seat. “I knocked her out of the way and got the bullet for my trouble.” He looked at Grace, who was leaning against him. “Better me than her, though."

“How are you not dead, John?” Sam asked in amazement, peering in the man’s face. “That looks like it’s directly over your heart- a shot like that usually means I gotta go buy a black dress and stop my sister from climbing in your casket.”

He rolled his eyes at her, then pointed to a nearby chair, where a red jacket was draped over the back. “Looks like having a penchant for mints saved my life today. Bullet went through the pocket and hit the tin… knocked me clean out for a minute, though.” He grinned at Grace, who was still wiping her face. “Guess you’ll never complain about that little habit again, will ya?” He patted her hand softly, closing his eyes and leaning back against the couch. “One thing is for damn sure- a nap sounds amazing right about now, cause I’m fucking beat."

“All this trouble and that sonofabitch still has all of my stuff,” Grace growled, running her fingers through her messy curls. “I’ll tell you what- if I ever see that bastard again, I’m gonna kill him.” 

“I don’t think that’s the lesson we should be taking away from this, Grace,” Nia said pointedly. When Grace just glared at her, Nia simply shook her head. “I can’t with you guys,” she said, throwing up her hands. “I give up- it looks like nothing I say is going to make a stitch of a difference anyway.”

Lana looked over at the man, who was starting to look ashen. “Is there anything we can do for him in the meanwhile? He looks quite ill…Mom.” If this was her world, she would have used her magic and healed him, but things like that didn’t happen here- dealing with injuries was yet another thing she had to learn about.

Nia nodded. “I can give him something for the pain, but he's going to be a little loopy for awhile- Grace, Lana, can you get him up to bed so he can rest? Sam, I could use a hand- can you help me get a few things ready while they get John settled in?”

The girls nodded and Lana went over to help Grace with the exhausted man, hooking his arm over her shoulder- she’d done this type of thing before when carrying injured troops off the field of battle. She didn’t expect to be doing it here, but the other girl gave her a grateful look as they made their way up the stairs.”Thanks, Lana,” she said as they got him in the bed, sitting next to the man who had instantly fallen asleep. “I swear, what a fucking day I’m having.”

 _You and me both,_ Lana thought. “I can only imagine. Are you all right, Grace?”

“Better than I would’ve been if something had happened to John,” she said quietly, stroking his cheek gently. “I don’t know what I’d do without him, Lana- he’s my world."

Lana smiled at the girl, resting a hand on her shoulder. “I can see that. I’m sorry your items are gone, but I’m just glad that you two are safe.”

“Thank goodness for small favors,” Grace said as she closed her eyes. “It feels like we just got here- kinda pissed we have to leave in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” Lana asked, saddened at the fact that she wouldn’t get to spend time with the other girl. “I haven’t really talked to you yet.” 

Grace shrugged. “‘Fraid so.” Then she noticed Lana’s downcast face and gave her a soft smile. “Hey, I’ll be back before you know it- just do me a favor and keep an eye on Sam- having a little fun sometimes won’t kill her, and It seems like we’re the only ones that can pull her head out of that damn sketchbook of hers. Since I won’t be here to bust her balls, I need you to make sure she lives a little, ok? ”

Lana nodded, taking a moment to stare at the girl she knew Sam had crossed the stars to find. “I’ll do my best,” she replied with a smile, squeezing Grace's hand before quietly leaving the room. 

\--

That evening, after getting into the bath (though she was in shock when it came to most of the things in this world, she found relaxing in the bath to be quite the enjoyable experience) and changing into her nightclothes, Lana settled into her bed and stared at her phone. It had pinged earlier, letting her know that someone was trying to contact her, but she wasn't inclined to get out of the tub to answer it. Now, dressed and relaxing in the exorbitantly comfortable bed, she stared at the device that held the electronic missive from Alistair on the screen.

_Hey, Lana (told you I'd remember your name)!_  
_Is dinner tomorrow still ok, or should I chalk up your initial acceptance to the concussion?_

Sam had been right- this method of communication was amazing. Laughing to herself at his response, she typed out a reply:

_Ali, I would love to see you again._

As soon as she sent the message, she cringed- not only had she called him by the nickname her and Sam had given him across their travels, she had also mentioned the word ‘love’ in a message to a man that she had only talked to once in this world. Desperate, she searched all over for a way to recall the message, but found none- in a panic, she leaped out of bed and grabbed the journal, hopeful to find an answer on how to fix this offense.

Just as she was flipping frantically through the pages, she heard a soft ping coming from the bed. With trepidation, she turned to look at the phone- just as she thought, there was a reply from Alistair. 

_Great! Would 6 work for you?_

She stared at her phone in amazement- not only did he not remark on her mistake, but he still wanted to meet with her. She felt a goofy grin spread across her face as she typed out her reply. 

_6 is fine._

As she looked at the small message, she felt she needed to tell him the truth. Too often in her old life, she held things back, waiting for the proper time- with this chance she was given, she wanted to make the most of it. So, biting her lip, she sent another quick message. _I’m looking forward to it._

After a few moments, her phone pinged again- when she read the reply, she clutched it to her chest and squealed with joy. _So am I._

As she reveled in the happiness of their upcoming meeting, something twinged in the back of her mind. _This isn’t your Alistair, Lana. He’s not the man you fell in love with… remember that._

Lana frowned at the realization, staring up at the ceiling. _I know… but that life is gone. I’m here now- don’t I deserve to enjoy what little happiness I can find?_

_But is what you're feeling right now even real?_

Shutting her eyes against the thoughts threatening to pull apart the threads of her newfound happiness, Lana shut her eyes. _It’s real enough._

_But this isn’t your Sam and this isn’t your Alistair… is it fair to offer someone else the same devotion you’d give to the ones who would’ve given their life for you?_

_Shut up-_ _I have given up everything… I deserve to be happy._ _This time,_ she resolved, _I will be happy_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grace's story is from _Nothing ever goes right the first time_ , in case you're wondering where she had to go off to!


	5. I need a friend (9:33 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam realizes that sometimes you have to change a few things; Cullen plays Wicked Grace

_ _

* * *

_Cullen!_ I called out frantically, _I need to talk to you, right now!_

He sounded like I woke him up from a sound sleep and I felt terrible for it, but I needed to talk to him. _Maker, are you all right? What’s wrong, Sam?_

 _I found her, Cullen!_ I said excitedly. _I found Grace!_

There was stunned silence for a moment, then he came back. _That’s… amazing, Sam. Are you with her now?_

 _No,_ I said sadly. _I’m not. It’s crazy- I’ve been having these super weird dreams, and I’ve been able to feel Grace again! When I went looking for her this time, I got a hit!_ I sat up, running my hand through my hair and trying not to pass out. _I got her, Cullen- I finally found Grace!_

 _You don’t sound good, Sam,_ he said cautiously. _What happened?_

 _I rewound time,_ I replied. _Mom told me not to do stuff like that, but I had to help, even if it hurt- even Dad thought I should do it._

 _You’re not making sense, love._ Cullen sounded confused _. I need you to explain what’s going on so I can understand._

 _I saw a branch for Grace._ I tried to sit up, but a shooting pain in my head forced me to sit back down. _When I found her, she was in trouble- there was no way I was going to let anything happen to her._

 _You don’t do well when you interfere with little things, and this sounds a bit more important than a slice of pie on the floor._ Cullen said, sounding very much awake now. _How bad is it?_

 _Grace is in a bad way,_ I said sadly, carefully avoiding his question. _The world she was in was practically destroyed and she’s been frozen for about two hundred years. From what I could see, a guy shot her husband and took my nephew- she’s not having a good go of it, but I can’t physically get over there to help her._

 _Maker,_ he breathed. _That’s horrible! Is she okay?_

 _Not really,_ I said. _From what I could see, the guy who killed her husband also shot the man she was traveling with and almost killed him._

 _What kind of world is this!_ Cullen sounded horrified. _And what does this have to do with you? What did you do?_

 _I didn’t need to see a branch to know what would happen if he died, Cullen,_ I said, closing my eyes to make the room stop spinning. _Grace doesn’t have powers, but she would have fought to the death to avenge that man. And if she did, she wouldn’t make it out. If I gotta fight through some pain to save my sister, I’m gonna do it. She cares about that man way too much- I think he’s the reason the connection opened up._

_Sam, I need you to take care of yourself. Remember that I need you too, my love._

_I’ll be fine,_ I breathed, laying back on the bed. _I just needed to share this with you. I don’t think I’m going to be reachable for a while though._ As soon as my head hit the pillow, I could see spots forming on my eyelids, and could tell I was close to passing out. _I love you,_ I said as I closed my eyes. _I’ll find you when I wake up._

 _Sam!_ Cullen yelled, but it was too late- I was already losing consciousness.

_ _

* * *

Cullen fretted, pacing back and forth in the room. The only connection he had to her world was the ring, and with her unconscious it was useless. As he rubbed the back of his neck and tried not to panic, his eyes alighted on his desk, noticing the stack of paper. _The bird,_ he thought. He can get a message over there. _Her dad knows what was going on- he can check on her for me._

Hoping this would work, Cullen lit a candle and sat at his desk to write to her father.

  
_Sir,_

_As it is late for me, I apologize for waking you at what may be a late hour, but this is urgent._

_Sam is in her room and not responding- she did something when she found her sister and I cannot rouse her. I’m worried about her condition and I know she confided in you before she left, so if you could let me know if she is okay, I would be forever in your debt._

_Your son-in-law,_  
_Cullen Rutherford_  
  


He felt stupid, but he held out the letter and called to the red-eyed bird, hoping it would hear him. Just as he thought that this would all be for naught, he heard the shuffling of wings and he was never more grateful to see the large bird appear on his windowsill. 

Looking at the raven, he cleared his throat. “Hello… Baron Plucky,” he said, feeling more than a little foolish. However, he didn’t want to offend the bird- he knew that it was smarter than anyone gave it credit for being, so he decided that erring on the side of good manners would be the best course of action, particularly when asking a favor. “I’m sorry to trouble you so late, but may I ask you to take this to Samantha’s father, quick as you can?”

After a moment, the bird cocked its head and fixed Cullen with his beady red eyes, letting out a soft caw as it hopped over and plucked the letter out of his hand. Looking at him once more, it ruffled its feathers and flew off, leaving Cullen rather astounded and not without the sensation that this whole chain of events was nothing more than a strange dream. 

As he lay in bed staring at the ceiling by the flickering candlelight, he realized that it could be days before he got a response, since Sam often told him what was minutes for her would often be days in Thedas. He discovered that he hated the time difference in their worlds more than anything else. He didn’t get the chance to ask Sam what time it was before she left, and he had no idea when her father would get the letter. _If he was asleep, would he wake up for his missive?_ There were too many questions, but he was too wound up to go back to sleep, so he sat back on the bed, wishing for the sleep that he knew would elude him for the time being.

When he awoke in the morning, there was still no letter. 

He wanted to wait around, but experience had already taught him if he was anywhere outdoors or near a window, the bird would have no trouble finding him. He thought about calling the bird back to send another letter, but he didn’t want to annoy the raven- Alistair had done so once trying to joke with Leliana, causing the raven to nip the warden hard enough to draw blood the next time he got a letter. So instead of pacing mindlessly, he decided to head to the library, hoping Bethany would be around for their morning visit before her lessons. 

Since she had begun at the Circle, Cullen had been the liaison between her and the Kirkwall Crew. Every morning, they would meet in the library, which usually consisted of a nod from him to her. Most days, Sam would be their go-between, making sure that any letters that she needed to send got taken surreptitiously to his room. If this had been Kirkwall, he would have just taken them himself, but after Samson had been booted out by Meredith for passing love letters, Cullen was taking no chances. At least he could always report that she was okay, and outside of the carefully monitored letters they allowed her to send to her mother, he knew she was safe.

After checking on Bethany, he went outside to handle his morning duties, extremely agitated at the lack of news. Throughout the day, his mind kept wandering- while he was happy for Sam, he couldn’t help but think that this situation was unacceptable. While he didn’t want anything to happen to her sister, Sam was his wife, first and foremost- she should know better than to push herself that hard. 

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice when Hawke and Varric appeared next to him. The rogue was smiling as if he didn’t have a care in the world, which to be fair, he probably didn't- ever since their trip to the deep roads, Hawke had enough coin to get back his family estate, which meant that they were no longer living in Lowtown with their uncle. This had made the man considerably more cheerful, which often resulted in him pestering the templar even more than usual, considering he was technically considered nobility now and no one was keen to try and throw him out on sight anymore. 

Hawke leaned against a wall, folding his hands behind his head and studying the templar. “Penny for your thoughts, cousin? You look even more dour than usual- what’s got you so sour today?” 

Cullen closed his eyes, contemplating his next move. He could tell Hawke to go away, which would usually just result in him pestering him even further. But today, he realized he needed a friend, and if the man wanted to be one, so be it. “Sam found her sister,” he said wearily. “However, she got herself injured and I cannot reach her. I sent her father a letter but due to the time difference, there is no response.” Hawke looked at him in alarm, and Cullen let out a deep sigh. “There is nothing I can do but sit here and wait, which of course does nothing for my mood.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” Varric said casually. “We were just coming to invite you to the Amell Estate to join our game of Wicked Grace. We haven’t seen you at the Hanged Man recently, so we figured we should come to drag you away before you forgot what having fun looked like. Good thing we did, huh?”

Despite himself, Cullen found himself smiling. “Ordinarily I would protest, but something different wouldn’t be the worst thing,” he admitted. “Anything is better than waiting for a letter that may never come.” 

Hawke let out a laugh, springing forward and clapping Cullen on his shoulder. “Then it’s settled! You’ll remove the stick up your ass tonight and meet us at my house tonight for a rousing game of Wicked Grace. Looking forward to seeing if you remember how to do something besides scowl, Curly.” 

“I hate that damnable name,” Cullen growled. “And yet you insist on using it.”

“Because it irritates you,” Hawke said jovially, tweaking his nose. “Besides, you make such cute faces when you’re angry- it’d be a shame to deprive Kirkwall of it." 

_ _

* * *

Varric found himself quite tickled as he sat around the table with everyone, laughing and playing what had to be the most interesting game of Wicked Grace he’d played in a while. After Hawke had not-so-subtly told everyone what was going on with Cullen and Sam, everyone had shown up, even Fenris and Anders. Aveline had even taken a moment to join them, even though she often jokingly complained that the guard captain shouldn’t be seen with such miscreants as them. When Varric told her that the Knight-Captain would be joining them, the redhead got a sly smile on her face and began musing about ‘improving templar relations’ before gathering her stuff to join them. 

But now, they were all in the Hawke estate, laughing and chatting while playing cards. As he suspected, Curly was terrible- he had about fifteen different tells, but he was playing along and laughing at Anders’s stories about his time in the circle. At first, the mage was surprised by his interest and lack of judgment, but he eventually relaxed and settled in for the evening. Varric also noticed that his hands would come to rest on the back of Hawke’s chair more often than not, but he didn’t say anything. Under normal circumstances, he would push them towards each other, but since he had fifty silver on the two of them getting together by the end of the month, he didn’t want to rush it since Isabela had forty on them sealing the deal by next week. 

Merrill was another one who was perpetually missing the point of the game- she was practically bouncing in her seat with excitement, flashing her cards to anyone who would look. When she did it for the fifth time, Fenris, in a rare show of tolerance for the mage, turned to her and whispered, “You’re not supposed to show us your cards, Merrill. Keep them to yourself until it's your turn.”

Understanding dawned on her face as Fenris stared at her and took a swig from the bottle of wine he was holding. “Oh, is that why everyone knows what I’m going to play?”

Isabela smacked herself in the face and Varric laughed, wrapping his arm around the hapless elf. “Yeah Daisy, that would do it. Notice no one else shows their cards until we finish? That’s what you have to do.”

Cullen laughed out loud, surprising almost everyone. “Maker! How do you guys ever play a proper game of cards around here with all of this going on?”

“We’re usually too drunk to notice, if we’re being honest,” Hawke replied. “Only Varric and Izzy manage to pay attention- I think our games are paying for Isabela’s room and board- the woman is a monster.” 

“Only in the bedroom,” Isabela purred. “Other than that, I’m positively wonderful. Well, I’m wonderful there too, so I guess you’re right, Hawke.” 

“Harlot,” Aveline coughed. Isabela shot her a look, but the guard captain simply looked away, dealing the cards. Hawke let out a burst of uproarious laughter, leaning over to place a loud kiss on the pirate captain’s cheek. In response, Isabela squeezed his leg, causing Anders to frown and Varric to inwardly groan- if that woman got her hooks in Hawke, everyone was going to lose the bet, and he had no intention of tossing money away because she decided she needed to warm her bed for the night. 

Before he could say anything, a slightly tipsy Cullen broke in. “Wait a minute, I thought Anders and Hawke were together- what’s he doing with Isabela?”

Everyone looked at the pirate and the rogue, causing Varric to shake his head. While Curly may have blown his bet, he’d at least made it so his cousin had to stop tiptoeing around what everyone already knew. “Hawke, if the templar can tell, you know it’s obvious,” the dwarf said, taking a sip of his drink. “You may as well just spill it- it’s not like we’re blind."

For once, Hawke was struck silent- his mouth hung open in a silent ‘o’ of surprise and he blushed- of all the possible outcomes, it looked as if Hawke had never dreamed that the sullen templar would be the one to call him out on what he thought he’d been keeping hidden. “I… didn’t think he felt the same,” he stammered. “I was just waiting-“

“You haven’t noticed him draped over your chair all night?” Isabela asked, smirking at Varric. _That devious woman,_ he thought, _looks like she planned this somehow_. “Anders? Got anything you want to say?”

Merrill clapped her hands together. “Oh, is this the part where Hawke and Anders kiss? I’ve been waiting on this for a while- they’re so cute together!”

Hawke looked at the elf, then got a large smile on his face. “Well, I would hate to disappoint one of my favorite people in the whole wide world,” he said as he strode over to Anders, grabbing his face and pulling him in for a long, deep, kiss.

Cullen began to clap, laughing as Anders turned bright red before finally giving in, hugging Hawke and kissing him back. Varric just laughed- since Hawke and Anders looked so happy, he was only slightly mad he lost his money. But as soon as he turned around, he heard Cullen whisper to Isabela. “Looks like Sam won the pool,” he told the pirate queen. “Three-way split, right?”

“You dirty bastards,” Varric chortled. “I should’ve known.”

The templar just shrugged, watching as Hawke and Anders smiled at each other. “I was losing my wages to you guys- I had to make my money back somehow.”

_ _

* * *

When Cullen headed back into his room that night, he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He had to admit, the outing with the Kirkwall crew had lifted his spirits and lifted the agony of waiting for word about Sam. Groaning at the pain in his head, he took off his clothes and started to crawl into bed, only to be jolted awake by a soft caw from the desk. 

“Baron Plucky!” Cullen yelped. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there!”

The raven shook itself, then inclined its head at a letter it had dropped, then turned back to the templar. When it looked as if the bird was assured that Cullen had noticed its delivery he let out a soft caw, picking up the leftover sweet roll Cullen had taken from Hawke’s house and flying off toward the nearest tree to eat its payment. _That cannot simply be a bird,_ Cullen thought to himself as he picked up the letter, eager to get word on Sam’s condition.

_Rutherford,_

_Sam is fine- she’s exhausted and in a heap of trouble with her mom, but overall, she's fine. Thanks for letting us know- your note allowed my wife to work with Sam a little bit to reduce the effects of her little excursion. She should be fine in a few days- I’ll have her call you when she wakes up._

_I, however, am not fine, thank you very much. Because of your note, my wife is now angry at me for my involvement in Sam’s hairbrained scheme and I’ve been forced to sleep on the couch. I’ve been married to this woman for almost twenty-five years, but I’ve never been sent to the couch until you came along. Funny how that works, isn’t it?_

_Please know that I hate you so much right now- why are you related to me?_  
_-Dean_

_ _

* * *

“Hello!” I called out into the house. “Hawke, I know you’re here- you can’t hide from me!”

After I had recovered and he had berated me for not taking proper care of myself, Cullen told me about what happened during his impromptu game of Wicked Grace. Fairly pissed that I had missed the show and wanting to congratulate Hawke on him and Anders, I decided to stop by his house for a chat and gloat about my winnings. 

“In here, cousin! Aveline is berating me for not doing my civic duty fast as she would like me to right now!"

Laughing, I entered the hall to find Hawke and Aveline talking and brandishing a large white flower. “Um, is that for me?” 

Aveline gave me a sour look. “Maybe you can help- I’m trying to talk to Hawke about this man who’s preying on young women and the bastard keeps dismissing me!” She glared at the young man. “You said you’d help when I needed you to help- I need you to help, Hawke.” 

“And I told you, I’ll get to it,” he said dismissively. “I’ll follow up on that lead of yours- that should be enough to get Gaspard DuPuis for this, right?” As soon as he made the comment, I was hit with a whopper of a branch. Instantly, my knees buckled and sent me crashing to the floor as Hawke and Aveline looked on in horror. “Sam, what’s wrong? Talk to me!”

“You will handle this now,” I croaked. “When you made that decision I saw a branch, and it circled right back to the house. Since the only other woman here is Leandra, that means that whatever is going on with those women is going to affect your mom, Hawke.”

Hawke looked at Aveline and went pale. “Go get Anders,” he said quickly, then turned back to me as the guard ran off toward the clinic. “Can you get Cullen over here? I want you with me on this, Sam, but I don’t think he’s going to forgive me if I take you with me without talking to him.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t go with you,” I protested. “I wasn’t even supposed-“ 

“Fuck that,” he spat. “That’s my mom and that’s your aunt. You are going with me, end of the story.” 

“Hawke, I don’t know why everyone seems to think that I can fight or shoot lightning bolts from my ass, but I feel that I need to remind you that I’m not a mage- the coolest thing I can do is freeze things, and even that is in limited amounts. So unless you want a cheerleader you have to protect all the damn time, then you’re better off leaving me behind.”

His eyes narrowed. “You can see the result of my choices, right?”

I shrugged. “Some of them- if they make enough of a difference, then yeah. Most of the time, you’re really not that important, in spite of how highly you think of yourself."

The rogue was not amused. “This is your aunt. I know you don’t want to get involved, but that’s too damn bad. You’re with us. Everyone I know is willing to help and they aren’t even family, so what’s your excuse?” He glared at me, his amber eyes piercing into mine. “I don’t give a damn if you’re scared, Sam- sometimes you have to just do what’s right.”

His words brought back a conversation Mom and I had once- is it more important to do what’s right or what you’re told?

“I’ll call Cullen,” I said with a sigh as Aveline and Anders came running back into the hall. “But I’m warning you, I’m not that useful.”

“You’re here,” Hawke said, pulling me in for a hug. “Right now, that’s enough.”

_ _

* * *

When he got to the Hawke estate, Cullen was not pleased to discover that Sam was in the thick of a hunt for a serial killer, but at least he was there with her. Sam said that the one they thought to be the culprit wasn’t it- she said that even if he was gone, the killing would continue. 

“If it’s not him,” Aveline said, "then what do we do? We don’t have any leads.”

Sam let out a heavy sigh and Cullen rubbed her back, causing her to lean into his arms. Closing her eyes, she addressed the room. “Do we know anyone that knows the latest missing girl?”

Aveline nodded. “Emeric was the one who’s been talking about this the entire time. I’d say if anyone has anything, it would be him."

Sam nodded. “Well, if he knows anything about the missing girl, I can track her. I just need to touch him to get a good picture. If she’s dead, this is going to suck so bad,” she moaned.

“I get no one wants to hang around with dead people- trust me on this one,” Anders said dryly and crossing his arms. “but why would it be worse than anything else?”

“Because there’s no soul- it’s like following a void,” she said, shuddering. “It's cold and it seeps into your bones and makes you want to crawl out of your skin or scream till your voice goes numb.”

“Well that would do it,” Anders replied as he stood by the fireplace, relaxing his stance. “Can we just forget I asked?”

“Already forgotten,” Sam said with a smile, relaxing into his arms again. “I just want to get this over and done with.” 

“I would agree,” Cullen replied. “This is not the way I wanted to spend the day with you, that’s for certain. Plus, I don’t want you around other templars, love- we can tell your magic is wrong, remember?”

Frowning, Sam bit her lip. “True…” She thought for a moment, then brightened. “I’ll just go home!” Sam put her hands on her hips and gave the rogue a cocky grin that rivaled his own. “If I go home, I can come back and no one knows I’m there. I’ll hear everything you do, but until I make myself known I’m perfectly hidden. I just need you guys to get him to decide something regarding the case so I can see where his choice leads.” 

“This sounds delightful,” Anders moaned. “And fruitless, but hey, what do I know?”

“Do you have a better plan? Because if you do, I’m all ears, as is my mother.” Anders just sighed, turning towards the fireplace and Hawke looked at Sam. “Now that we have that settled, are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she said. “I’ll watch for you guys to get over there and then I’ll pop in. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?” 

“Now why did you have to do that,” Cullen said with a groan. “Every time you say something like that, everything goes tits up and we end up knee-deep in werewolves or darkspawn or something.”

“Well look on the bright side,” she said, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. “At least there are no darkspawn here."

_ _

* * *

After they talked with Emeric, I was kind of torn about the way this had to go down. If we played this right, we could save a lot more people than just Leandra, but we would have to do a bit of running around. Hawke still needed to investigate the creepy dude - I didn’t see him as innocent, just not guilty of what we thought. But, there was a heavy death branch surrounding Emeric, so that needed to be attended to as well. 

However, Cullen wasn’t wrong when he said my magic felt off, so I went home while Hawke, Anders, and Aveline went to check on Suspect #1 while Cullen was in the Gallows, trying to inconspicuously keep an eye on the templar. 

_I think I’d rather be in my room with you,_ Cullen said in my head. _Standing around here and waiting is feeling kind of pointless. Do we even know what we're looking for?_

 _All I know is that he makes a choice that leads to a darkened path...which usually means death, I_ replied as I scanned the scene. I was trying to see what was going on around Cullen, but if I did anything else the dual sensations were overwhelming- as a result, I was in bed with my eyes closed. To anyone else, it probably looked as if I was having the world’s worst migraine- the lights were off and the shades were drawn, and there was no sound in the room except for my breathing. Taking in the sights that surrounded Cullen, I sighed. _This shit is super maudlin on my end- the only sound I hear is your voice._

Y _ou can’t hear what I hear?_

_Nope. I can see and hear you, but everything else is silent. Weirdest shit ever, if you ask me._

_Too bad you can’t check on Hawke,_ Cullen said as he glanced down at Emeric. _I’m curious to know what they’ve found._

 _I’m really not,_ I said blithely. _I’m more involved than I care to be already, and this was not how I planned to spend my day._

 _What, talking to your husband is boring?_ Cullen teased. _And here I was thinking that we had the best assignment out of all of them._

 _I can think of much better ways to spend time our time together,_ I purred, grinning deviously to myself. _But hearing your voice and seeing you definitely has its benefits._

_And what would those be, lady Rutherford?_

Just as I was about to answer and make him blush up a storm, a kid came up with a note for Emeric. _Wait, something’s happening- what did that kid just say?_

Cullen paused, then frowned. He said he had a message to Emeric from Hawke. _It looks like he’s reading it. Can you see what it says?_

 _On it,_ I replied, reading the note. _That’s odd- it says that Hawke wants to meet tonight in an alley somewhere. Wait,_ I said, feeling for the results of his decision and getting that telltale tingle in the pit of my stomach when I connected with his path. _That’s it! This is what makes his branch end!_

_So Hawke didn’t send the note?_

_Dollars to donuts it’s a trap,_ I replied as I watched the threads begin to shrivel up before my eyes, signifying death. _But if you can keep an eye on this guy, I can go look for him._

 _Be safe,_ Cullen admonished. _Look for him before you enter- don’t just rush in. I’ll keep an eye out over here- we have a few moments at least, considering he’s supposed to meet us tonight._

 _Gotcha,_ I said as I prepared to leave. That ominous note had set me on edge and I was itching to make sure that everyone was all right, despite my initial misgivings about the situation. _See you soon._

_ _

* * *

“Let me get this straight,” Anders said when Sam appeared to them as they left the DuPuis estate, “The blood mage we murdered was about to murder a girl, but he’s not the murderer we’re looking for? Seriously? Is anything normal around here?”

“Says the man with a spirit of Justice casually residing in his body,” Varric pointed out. Even by the standards of their crew, Justice unnerved him- he highly preferred plain old Anders to the spirit. “You don’t exactly scream normal, Blondie.”

“Not to mention we got my mystical cousin over here helping us out,” Hawke said proudly. “Even if she says she’s useless, she’s given us a lot more to go on than we had before, that’s for damn sure.”

“Maybe,” Sam replied. “I don’t know where this alley is, so I hope one of you does.” She looked around, biting her lip ever so often and slumping in the chair. “This just feels so… I don’t know, weightless- it's like I don’t have enough information. I wish I could just pin this down, you know?"

Varric nodded, patting the girl on the shoulder. At least she was willing to help now, which was an improvement from when she ran off and left them to deal with the Bethany situation on their own. “We’ll get it done- we’re done more with less, Sparrow.”

“I hope so,” she replied, looking over at them. Then she paused, looking off into the distance. “Cullen said Emeric is on the move, so he’s going to follow him. Head over to that alley, see what you can find,” Sam said, standing up from her chair. "I’m going to go watch over Cullen.” 

Hawke adjusted his daggers, looking at the others. “We’ll meet you there."

_ _

* * *

Cullen was trailing the templar but stopped short when he saw the mage in the alley slice his hands. “Oh Maker,” he breathed, hesitating a moment before grabbing Emeric and yanking him back. “That’s your mage- purge him, now!” 

If Emeric was surprised to see Cullen there, he didn’t question it. The older templar immediately worked with Cullen to send out a purge that knocked the mage back into the wall, stopping his spell and knocking him out. When they noticed that the mage was still, Cullen breathed a sigh of relief. _Sam_ , he called out. _What do you see?_

 _The wall,_ Sam retorted. _What kind of question is that?_

Hoisting the mage to his feet and gripping his hands behind his back, Cullen rolled his eyes at her statement. _You know full well what I mean- is this the man we’re looking for?_

 _You know that I can’t answer that question,_ she replied in exasperation. _Since it's not a choice you’re making, I can’t see the consequences of it. Make a choice and I can tell you something._

 _Fine,_ he thought. _If I choose to take him to Meredith, what happens?_

She paused for a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief. _He dies, but Leandra and Emeric live. Which means there’s probably a few other women that are alive. Wonder where he was held up all this time though?_

 _We’ll interrogate him,_ he replied grimly. _I’m sure there are things we need to find._

 _Wait! I have an idea!_ Sam thought excitedly as Cullen walked the mage towards the Gallows. _What if you chose to let him go?_

Cullen almost tripped over his feet. Y _ou cannot be serious, Sam! We know what he did, and you saw what he was capable of! There is no way I’m letting this man go free!_

 _I don’t actually want you to do it, silly,_ she said witheringly. _I just need you to ask- I can’t look on my own, but if you do…_

 _Then you can see…_ he finished her thought. _And you can see where he might go next._

 _Bingo,_ she replied. _I knew I married you for a reason._

_ _

* * *

“To my cousins!” Hawke said, raising a glass to Cullen and Sam. Once again, it was a full house- everyone was gathered around the Hawke dinner table, talking and laughing. Anders was next to Hawke, his arm draped over him. The two of them finally looked comfortable with each other and the dwarf smiled- it had taken them long enough.

Varric had to admit, it was one hell of an evening- after the mage had been arrested, Sam had guided them to the mage’s next stop, and what they found was a den of necromancy. To everyone's horror, shades and horrors were skulking about, not to mention the body parts of various young women were on a table. There was also a slew of research notes and a painting with a woman that looked startlingly like Leandra- when he saw it, Varric had no doubt that had they saved multiple women from a horrible fate. 

“Glad I could help,” Sam said shyly. “I wasn’t trying to lose any more family if I could help it.” 

He noticed the girl trying to slink away from the attention, but he was going to have none of it- this was too good of a story. “Now, Sparrow, no need to be shy- you did a hell of a lot out there. For someone who keeps yelling about how she isn’t a mage, you saved quite a few people today.”

“No, I didn’t,” she replied, shaking her head. “Cullen caught the mage and you guys stopped the other guy. All I did was tell you where to go.” 

“Which means we couldn’t have done it without you,” Hawke declared, kissing her on the forehead. “Like it or not, you helped, Sam- no sense in trying to deny it. What do you have against us recognizing you? It’s not like we can tell anyone outside the group?”

 _Kid’s got a point,_ Varric thought. As much as he might want to play with her involvement, as far as the city was concerned, Sam didn’t exist- all things considered, it was probably best to leave it that way. “Since we can’t tell anyone else, we might as well celebrate amongst friends, right?” Varric raised a glass, and so did everyone else. “And with that, I’d like to make a toast to our favorite non-mage and the only templar in town with some sense- you two did well today.”

Cullen leaned over and kissed his wife, ignoring the hoots and hollers of the others in the room. At least for now, the two of them seemed relaxed, finally giving in and acting like they were a normal married couple hanging out with their friends. Seeing them enjoy this stolen moment, Varric wondered if he could get away with writing a short serial about their story- _two star-crossed lovers, bound by love and separated by duty…_ the more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. Inspired, he reached in his bag and began taking notes.

He could easily fudge a few details- after all, the truth should never get in the way of a good story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes- I'm finally done writing! Just editing things now, so I'll soon be heading off and working on DAI (insert squeals of joy here)!
> 
> Seriously, thank you for your support and love for this crazy little romp!


	6. Secrets are lies of omission (9:34 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Sam see some old friends and have a few important discussions  
> (Mildy NSFW at the end)

_ _

* * *

As usual, Cullen was posted outside the Gallows, trying to make sense of everything that was going on. Hawke had done the impossible- he’d driven the Quinari out of the city, and to make matters even more interesting, Meredith had named him the Champion of Kirkwall, which had done nothing for the man’s ego. _It's been a strange few days,_ he thought. _Leave it to an Amell to make waves no matter where they go._

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the sandy-haired warrior sidling up to him. “So… templar, how’s it been lately?”

Shocked, he turned to the man- when he realized who it was, he let out a loud laugh filled with surprise and joy. “Ali?” 

Alistair gave the templar a big hug. “The one and only.” He smirked. "Good to see you haven’t forgotten me- seeing as how I never get any letters from you, I wasn't sure you remembered who I was.”

Cullen laughed, thoroughly overjoyed to see his friend again. “I can’t believe it! What are you doing here?” He looked around, making sure no was around to hear him before he continued. “Does Sam know you’re here?”

He gave a soft snort. “Who do you think sent me over here to find you? Do you really think I’d show up in town and not tell her first? I like having my head right where it is, thank you very much.” 

He gave Cullen a broad grin, and even though it had been over four years since they had last seen each other, Cullen thought he looked exactly the same as he did when he saw him off for Kirkwall. “It’s really good to see you, Alistair,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s been far too long.”

“Really has,” he said good-naturedly. “So I’m here to remedy that. Sparrow and I have decided to allow you to take part in our yearly wine and cheese spectacular. Figured it was appropriate, considering I was in town and all.”

“How nice of you two to think of me,” Cullen said with a smirk. “I’m touched… and also concerned that I didn’t know of these clandestine meetings. This sounds rather sneaky- is there something you two want to tell me?”

“Only that there’s usually only enough wine and cheese for the two of us and I’m not into sharing the limited time I get with Sparrow,” he joked. “But since it’s a special occasion, I’m willing to make an exception. Come on- I’m in a camp on the outskirts of town and I’m dragging you out tonight. Sam is going to meet us there.”

“You’ve twisted my arm,” Cullen replied. “Give me a moment to get things situated here and I’ll be right there.”

“Hey, if anyone gives you grief, just tell them you’re required on official Grey Warden business. Works all the time- it’s one of the best perks of the job, actually. Well that, and not having to be king."

“Good to know you’re still an idiot, Ali,” he remarked as he went inside the Gallows. “I’ve missed you."

As they walked along, Cullen couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so at ease with someone that wasn’t Sam. He discovered that he did miss the company of the Grey Warden, and having him regale him with his exploits made him feel nostalgic for the days they had traveled together. Though they were always fraught with danger, there was something about the people and conversations that always managed to take the edge off and still make him feel like he was amongst friends. Nowadays, the companionship he had was a little different- it was nice, to be sure, but he never quite felt comfortable sharing everything. But as they trudged along the shore Cullen realized that traveling with Alistair was comforting, so instead of questioning it, he decided to savor being in the presence of one of his oldest and most improbable friends. 

When they got to the large tent in the middle of the forest grove, Alistair paused before opening the flap, smacking himself in the face. “Oh, I knew there was one last thing I forgot to mention!”

Cullen looked at him warily. “No one’s in trouble, right? I don’t have the wherewithal to fight anything tonight, Alistair.” 

“Well, you might have to fight,” Alistair said, opening the tent and grinning like a loon, “but only because you haven’t been writing as much as you should.” He turned to look at Cullen, a smug look on his face. “I guess I forgot to mention that this a Team Mage reunion… and you know Leli doesn’t take kindly to us ignoring her letters.”

_ _

* * *

If I could’ve brought my phone to capture Cullen’s face when he saw us in that tent, I would have a picture guaranteed to brighten even my darkest days.

Of course, Cullen smiled when we were alone, but to see the unabashed joy in his face when he saw Zevran and Leli in that tent made my heart soar. I’d seen everyone and we’d all sent letters, of course, but to have all four of my closest friends together made the world right, even if it was just for the night. 

“Welcome, Cullen,” Leliana said warmly as she got up to hug him. “It’s been way too long and your letters are much too infrequent for my tastes.” Leli gave him a wicked grin. “I’ve had to resort to using my sources to find out what’s been going on here… I’m disappointed, my friend.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing at the bard’s implications. “Sorry about that- it’s been rather crazy here.”

“So I have noticed,” Zevran said, standing up to get his own hug. “I’ve been in your town for weeks and you’ve yet to notice. I’m starting to think you do not love me, dear templar.”

“Zevran, if I'd known you were here I’d have tried to lock you up ages ago,” Cullen teased. “But I don’t get down to the Blooming Rose, so that might explain why we haven’t crossed paths.”

The elf let out a barking laugh, clapping Cullen on the shoulder. “It may explain a lot, dear friend.” He smiled, settling back into his seat and uncorking a bottle of wine. “But enough random chatter! Let us settle in like old friends and enjoy this beautiful Antivan vintage I have procured for us tonight, no?”

“I’ll gladly get down with that,” I replied, offering him my glass. “But I hope there’s more than one bottle of that for all of us- Ali and I have been known to destroy two or three in a sitting. Darn Grey Warden appetite,” I said as I poked my friend in the side. “He constantly eats everything I bring before I can barely take a bite and I end up sauced.”

“If you know this, then why don’t you bring your own food, Sparrow?” Alistair asked, leaning over and taking five pieces of various cheeses from the tray. “Seems like that’s just bad planning on your part.”

I let out a huff, but I wasn’t really mad. “Ali, I buy so much cheese that the guy at Costco has to think I have a problem. And I have done that… you just swiped my dinner when I wasn’t looking, remember?”

“Hey, I was hungry,” he whined, taking another handful of cheese and meat. “And your food looked so much tastier than mine.”

I turned to Leli, laughing. “He can eat a whole tray of this by himself. Do yourself a favor and don’t sleep in here with him afterward- it isn’t pretty, let me tell you. Thedas may not have air fresheners, but I sure do… and I use them judiciously.” 

The bard laughed, taking a sip from the wine Zevran gave her. “I’ll take that under advisement,” she said seriously. Then her lips quirked back up into a smile. “So how have the two of you been faring out here? I hear a lot has been going on these last few years.” 

“Nope,” I replied, throwing a piece of cheese at her. “No politics, no business. Tonight, we are not templars, assassins, or wardens- we’re old friends and we’re going to keep it that way.”

Alistair glared at me as he picked up the piece of cheese from Leli’s lap and ate it. “You waste another piece of cheese and we’re going to have issues, Sparrow.” He closed his eyes and sighed in happiness. “It’s been way too long since I’ve eaten like this.”

I took a sip of my wine and giggled. “That’s a good thing, you big jerk- you’d be dead if you ate like this every day!” 

“Shows what you know,” he teased, grabbing the last of the bottle and finishing it off, “I am fit as a fiddle. Not all of us are ’squishy humans’ like you,” he said as he poked me in my side, making me squeal. “It’s really not fair that you don’t age like the rest of us, Sparrow.”

“Meh, I’m just as old as you, remember? Time just passes differently for me, that’s all.” I smiled at the warden, leaning against his shoulder. “God, I missed you guys,” I said. “It’s been too long.”

“Longer for us,” Leliana reminded me, sipping her wine slowly. “Are you thinking of rejoining us in Thedas, Sam? I could certainly use the help in Orlais,” she said with a sly grin. 

“Nah, I’m good where I am,” I replied, staring at Cullen. “It’s hard enough dealing with Kirkwall- I think if I tried to adjust to Orlais, my head would explode from all the frou-frou and backstabbing.”

“You’d get used to it.” She turned to Zevran, leaning forward and resting her chin on her hands. “So, Zevran, what brings you to Kirkwall?”

“Following up on old leads and taking out the trash,” he responded with a smirk. “Plus, someone had to keep an eye out on our resident warden, no?” 

Alistair jerked his head up. “That was you? I thought I’d seen someone following behind me these last few days!”

The elf laughed, opening another bottle of wine. “You’d make a terrible assassin, Alistair- I wasn’t even trying to hide from you. I’ve just been-“ he made a dismissive gesture, then poured another glass of wine for himself, “keeping watch, is all.”

“More like stalking,” Ali grumbled- I laughed. 

“Hey, considering how everyone in this town seems to be ready to murder each other at a moment’s notice, it might not have been the worst thing,” I replied, taking a piece of cheese. Before I could pop it in my mouth, Alistair snatched it and popped it into his. “That was mine, you jerk!” I hissed, hitting him in the arm and glaring at him.

He shrugged. “It was right there and I didn’t want to move. Figured you were younger- you could get up to get another one.”

“Anyway,” Cullen said with a laugh, popping a fresh piece of cheese in my mouth before I could protest, “Sam and I seem to be honorary Amell’s out here. Turns out the Champion of Kirkwall is Lana’s cousin, and his boyfriend was a Grey Warden. Did you know him, Ali?”

Alistair and Leliana shot each other a look, which Cullen immediately noticed. “Out with it- you two know something.”

“Well,” Alistair said, twisting his hands together and looking at me. I shook my head, willing him to shut up but knowing it was pointless- Ali couldn’t keep a secret in a water-tight box. “I’m just surprised you haven’t freaked out on him, is all.”

Cullen narrowed his eyes and Zevran and I quickly took large sips of our wine. “Alistair,” he said pointedly, crossing his arms and staring at the warden, “what do you know?”

“Why do I have to be the one to know something?” Alistair whined. “Can’t Leliana or Sam know something too? In fact, I know the least out of everyone- ask anyone!”

I smacked myself in the head, then reached out with my charm. _Shut. UP! This isn’t our story to tell, Ali!_

_But he’s asking me, Sparrow! You know I don’t lie all that well!_

When his eyes darted to Cullen’s, the templar immediately caught on. “Alistair, are you and Sam having a side conversation?” 

“Yeah, Sam, that’s rude- we all want to know what Alistair is hiding,” Zevran said from over his cup of wine. “This is the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all week,” he murmured, taking a deep drink and winking at me. 

I scowled at the elf. “Zevran, you aren’t helping.”

“Oh, but I am,” he said, reaching over and taking a piece of cheese. “A great marriage is built on communication, Sam.” He gestured to Cullen and Alistair. “So how about it- I’m interested in hearing this story.”

“It’s not my story,” I sighed. “It’s Anders- it’s up to him and Hawke if they want to share.” 

“Anders has a spirit of Justice inside of him!” Alistair blurted out, clapping his hand to his mouth. I shot him a glare that would have struck him dead on the spot, and he gave me a helpless shrug. “Sorry, Sparrow- I couldn’t help it.”

Cullen looked back and forth between us, glaring at me the entire time. “So… Anders is an abomination?”

“No more than Wynne. He’s an asshole, but he’s not dangerous. And this,” I said, glaring at Alistair. “Is between him and Hawke.”

“I’m a Templar,” he said stiffly. “It’s my business, Sam.” 

“So what, you’re going to turn on my cousin’s boyfriend? Who’s helped you out all this time?” I put my hands on my hips. “If he fucks up, I’ll be the first one to say ‘have at him’. But until then, that’s not how we treat our friends, Cullen.” 

He sighed- I could tell this wasn’t over, but he was at least willing to let it go for now, “As you wish, Samantha- I trust you.”

_ _

* * *

Cullen was in bed with Samantha, stroking her hair as she lay curled up against him. Though they had to be quiet, he was glad for whenever they could get these few moments together. She’d once joked that she felt like she was sneaking around in her parent’s house- immediately he tensed up until she kissed him, laughing at his unwarranted jealousy and giving herself to him completely. She was his and his alone, and he made sure that she knew it, as he laid claim over every inch of her body each chance he got. Whenever they lay together, Cullen would relish how Sam looked when he made her spasm beneath him and he often found himself chuckling with pride at how she would muffle her face with her pillow to avoid crying out for him. While he wanted more, he’d settle for moments like these- if this was all he could have, he would take them, without question. 

But tonight, as he saw her dark hair splayed across his pillow and her arm draped over his side, he began to wonder. For once, what it would be like to have more? _Just once,_ he thought, _can we have something for ourselves? No blight, no order, no training? What would it be like if it were just us?_

He wondered if she would accept his life, a life so different from her own. In the middle of the night, he often thought about them together in a small house, with their kids running underfoot and her smiling up at him- the thought both warmed and saddened him, as he knew it would be a while yet before he could make it a reality for them.

 _Sam_ , he thought, kissing her head. _Are you awake?_

 _Obviously,_ she answered with a grin. _Just relaxing and thinking, that’s all._

He smiled back at her, reveling in the adoration in her eyes. _What about?_

 _You,_ she replied, reaching up and placing a kiss on his lips. _It’s just… I want…_ she paused, closing her eyes as she leaned her head against his and sighing. _Never mind._

He inhaled as the warm air ran across his nose and tickled his lips. _What do you want, love? Talk to me._

Sam looked up at him, her eyes darting across his face as she stroked his cheek with her index finger. _I want more, Cullen. And I know I don’t have a right to ask for it, but I do._ She looked at him sadly as she bit her lip. _I don’t want these moments to end._

 _Sam, you have every right to want that, and if I could, I would give you the world._ He felt like his heart was breaking with every word. _Maker, I’m a terrible husband,_ he thought sadly.

 _Cullen, you’re not a terrible husband… it’s just a terrible situation._ She smiled at him, running her fingers through his curls and gently nibbling his bottom lip. _Just once, I want to be able to wake up and tease you for your bedhead,_ she thought as she moved her hands up the small of his back. _I want to go out in public and tell the world what you mean to me, and not have to worry if someone is going to report us. I want us to be normal, Cullen... I just want a normal life._

 _Says the wife of the Knight-Captain of the templars who pops in and out of time,_ he replied, kissing her forehead. _I don’t care if it’s normal… I just want you._ He smiled, then thought about it for a moment, tracing his fingers along the side of her face. _What would you say if I asked you to stay here with me, Sam?_

 _How?_ She looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness. _Look at us, Cullen- we can’t even talk right now. I have to sneak out of here like a thief in the night, and we can’t go on a date unless I use my goddamn powers to meet you somewhere._ She sighed, closing her eyes. _Sometimes I feel like I’m your mistress, not your wife._

He pulled back in alarm, grabbing her face with his hands. _What do you need me to do, Sam?_ When she turned away, he gently gripped her face, tilting her back to him. _Whatever you need, just tell me and I’ll do it, without question. I never want you to feel that way- you are my wife, first and foremost… my commitment is to you._

She chuckled, patting his shoulder gently as she sat up, despite his protests. _I appreciate the sentiment, love, but I don’t want you to lie to me, ok?_

He looked at her, aghast, reaching out for her. _I would never lie to you, Sam._

Sam smiled, pulling on her smalls. _Not intentionally, but you and I both know your first love is the Order, Cullen. And I get it- I knew what this was going in._ She sighed, putting on her dress and running her fingers through her hair. _I won’t ask you to change, but I can’t help how I feel, either- it'd be wrong to lie to you about it. But don’t worry about it- I know we aren’t ever going to be normal- wouldn’t be us if it was, right?_

 _That’s not fair,_ he replied sadly. _How do you expect me to feel knowing that I’m hurting you?_

 _I’m not expecting anything, Cullen,_ she said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on his lips. _I gave up on normal a long time ago- now, I just want you._


	7. Deception and Decisions (9:35 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana and Sam attend a party; Cullen has to work
> 
> (NSFW at the end)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's that day that I refuse to call a holiday, I wanted to offer a bonus chapter- this one just worked and I had to post it. (NSFW at the end)

__

* * *

_L,_

_For the last time, I will not ask Sparrow to spy for you. If you want her to do it, ask her yourself._

_-C_   
_\---_

_C,_

_Don’t be unreasonable- it’s just a party. Besides, there will be food and drinks, and we both know our little bird loves things like that. I simply need someone I can trust to provide me with additional information._

_If it worries you so, why not accompany her as her date? I’m sure she’d love to be on your arm for the evening._

_If not, maybe she can go with the Champion- I’m sure he wouldn’t say no to a beautiful woman hanging onto his every word for the night._

_-L_   
_\---_

_L,_

_If there’s ever a time I would turn down food and drink, it’s at a party you think is a good idea. It’s probably all poison anyway. And while the Champion might be her family, he’s still a git. My answer is no._

_Besides, why ask me about this at all? Couldn’t you just send a letter to her directly?_

_-C_   
_\---_

_C,_

_Is someone jealous?_

_-L_   
_\---_

_L,_

_Of him? Never. I just think if she were to go to a party in a nest of vipers, it would be better done with her husband on her arm as opposed to a drunken lout._

_-C_   
_\---_

_C,_

_I’m glad to know you agree. Seeing as Sparrow has already agreed to do me the favor, It warms my heart to know that I will see you both there._

_I’ll send you the official invite- it is a formal dress event, dear friend._

_-L_   
_\---_

_L,_

_You are a terrible, terrible person and I wonder about you sometimes._

_-C_

—

When Cullen received the final response from the raven, he simply shook his head with laughter- instead of words on the parchment, he only found the imprint of red lips pressed into the paper. 

_ _

* * *

“So, how do I look, Leli?” I asked, spinning around in a circle and doing a mock curtsey. “Will I pass, or is this going to be a fuck-up of epic proportions?” 

Leliana took a moment to look me up and down, walking around me with a manicured finger pressed to her lips. Finally, she broke out into a grin and clapped her hands. “Oh, Sam- you look like royalty! I daresay you’re going to be the most popular woman there!”

I blanched. “Not exactly my intention, you know.” I glanced down at my outfit, then scowled. “Maybe I should tone this down a little, then.” 

“I should be very hurt you if you dared to change a single thing about this outfit! You look perfect!” The redhead hit me in the shoulder, then mussed with my hair again. “I’ve spent hours crafting you into perfection- I’d hate for everyone to miss seeing all of my hard work in action." 

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she was right- I felt like a princess. Leli had piled my dark hair into a crown at the top of my head, weaving gold filament through the strands, and I was wearing my favorite gold and emerald earrings to compliment my rings. I had tried to complain many times about the dress being too tight, but Leli was having none of it, so I was squished in the deep green velvet dress and corseted within an inch of my life. Though I would have much rather have worn something else, I did love the long sleeves, floor-length skirt, and the gold embellishments crisscrossing the bust of the dress. 

I tried to take a deep breath and discovered I couldn’t, settling on a mild huff instead. “Leli, you do realize I can barely breathe in this thing, right?” While I felt like I was on the verge of passing out, I did have to admit my boobs looked spectacular- they were practically bursting out of the top of the dress, with the locket and pendant prominently on display in the shelf of my cleavage. “We have push-up bras in my world- they give almost the same effect and they’re a shit-ton less painful.” 

“Oh you can deal for one night,” she chided, staring at my face critically. “And you’ve painted your face beautifully, Sam- you seem like you’re a natural at this.” 

“Well, I love to play dress-up,” I said with a giggle, winking at the bard. When Leli told me that I was supposed to be glamorous and mysterious, I said screw it and went full-throttle on the makeup- I had false eyelashes, gold glittery eyeshadow, highlighter, tons of eyeliner, my signature purple lips, and enough setting spray on my face to stop a moose in its tracks. As long as nothing fell off or I got hit with the tiniest bit of water, I would be set to impress all night long. “Are you sure this isn’t too much? This kind of look is usually reserved for Instagram models in my world, not parties with dignitaries.”

“No idea what you are talking about, but if they look as you do tonight, then these models could be Orlesian,” Leli said with a smirk. “You’re wearing a veritable mask of paint tonight, and it's perfect.” Her eyes sparkled as she adjusted her dress. “Even if they’ve seen you before, I daresay no one would recognize you.”

“I think that’s the point,” I replied as we walked out into the cool night air, arm in arm. “So, just so I’m clear, I’m not supposed to fight or use any of my powers, right? Just go in as Hawke’s date for this fuckshow of a celebration and see what shakes out? Information only, right?” 

“That’s it,” she replied simply, smiling as a group of men turned to stare at us as we approached the entrance. “You’re already doing a wonderful job, dear Sam.” 

I frowned. “I haven’t done anything- how could I be doing wonderfully? Is managing to walk in heels and remain upright a useful skill in Kirkwall?”

“When you’re as pretty as we are and having a conversation in pitch-perfect Orlesian, I’d say it’s very useful,” Leliana said with a smile. “Already the nobles have begun to whisper… which is exactly what we want.” 

“Great,” I muttered, now keenly aware of the looks we were getting. “Why exactly did I let you talk me into this, Leli?”

“Because you like fancy shoes and dresses as much as I do, Sam,” she replied as she slipped into the shadows, leaving me alone in the doorway to wait for Hawke. 

_ _

* * *

After an hour of polite nodding to nobles, Varric was getting rather bored with this whole evening. As the new Champion of Kirkwall, there was a party being thrown in Hawke’s honor tonight at a snooty, social-climbing noble’s estate and never one to turn down an evening of information and intrigue, the dwarf had accepted the invitation. Now, as he stood in the corner with a glass of wine, he found himself wishing for a rousing game of Wicked Grace and dreading the possibility of fending off polite questions from fans all evening. 

But when Hawke entered the room, Varric instantly discovered that the evening was going to be a lot more interesting than he initially thought. 

All eyes had turned to Hawke as he and his date descended the staircase, arm in arm. The rogue was practically beaming as he escorted the woman on his arm down the stairs, winking at people as they went past. As they reached the main floor, Hawke grabbed a glass of wine from the waiter, resembling a proud peacock as he strode through the room. Varric tried to place the woman, but they were too far away from him to make her features out clearly- all he could tell was that she was decked out in green and gold, and she was offering soft greetings in Orlesian to people as they moved across the floor, finally coming to a stop in front of him. 

“Varric! Finally, a face I don’t want to punch,” Hawke said with a laugh, leaning down to squeeze his shoulder. “How is the evening treating you so far?”

“Not as good as you, it seems,” Varric replied, trying to get a good look at the woman on Hawke’s right. Intrigued, he gently took her free hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. "May I ask about this lovely woman on your arm tonight?”

“You could, but I think you’d already know the answer,” she replied, causing Varric’s mouth to drop open in surprise. “Hiya, Varric… glad to see you out here.”

“Sparrow?” Varric whispered, looking at her as she turned to face him, her bright green eyes sparkling with mirth. “What in the void are you doing here? And,” he said, spinning her in a small circle, “Let me be the first to say, Maker, you look good!” 

“Apparently, all it takes is a shitload of makeup and a pretty dress to wow people.” She offered him a grin and a small curtsey. “So, what do you think? Do I look the part of a respectable noble worthy of being on the arm of the Champion of Kirkwall?” 

“I’d say,” he replied with a laugh. “How’d you convince Curly to let you out for the evening, Sparrow?”

Sam shrugged casually, sipping her wine. “A friend insisted I come tonight, so I’m here as a favor to them. Figured I’m in the time of poofy dresses and waltzes, may as well put all those years of dance classes to use somehow, right?” 

“I’ll admit, I was shocked when Sam asked me if she could be my date for the evening,” Hawke said as he waved cheekily at a group of nobles who had thrown him out their store once. “But I’m damn glad I accepted- seeing the faces of these puffed-up parrots right now is the stuff dreams are made of.” 

“Glad I can help you on your mission to be the king of Pettyland for the evening,” Sam said dryly. “Hey, if I can’t get a date with my husband, may as well take a pity one with my cousin, right?”

“Sam, you are never a pity date,” Hawke said, placing a kiss on her hand. “I’d be honored to have you on my arm any day, but looking like you do tonight certainly doesn’t hurt matters.” He shook his head, then flicked the locket resting on her chest. “I swear, it is a wonder those things haven’t made a break for freedom, dear cousin. Are you trying to cause a riot tonight?” 

“Blame this goddamn corset,” Sam groused, squeezing the sides of her chest. “I swear, I look like a porn star in this getup.” 

“While I appreciate a good set of breasts as much as the next man, I’d advise you to keep the fondling of yourself to a minimum, unless you want the whole room to devolve into a mad scramble for your attention,” Hawke chided, gently removing her hand and pulling her to him. “We have appearances to keep up, remember?”

“Glad you do,” Sam replied with a laugh, kissing Hawke on the cheek and leaving a light purple stain against his beard. “I wish I could be here with Cullen, but he’s all ‘duty and propriety’, can’t be seen with the mage, I’m too big a deal to hang out with you, blah blah blah…” She gave a soft scowl. “I’ve never even had one real date with my husband- kind of telling that my first real date in Thedas is with my cousin… story of my life.”

Varric gave her a grin. “I don’t know- you guys looked extra cozy at the Hanged Man a few years back, Sparrow.”

She crossed her arms and stared at him. “How many things can you find wrong with that statement, Varric? Cause I can find a few of them.” 

He raised his hands in mock surrender. “Touche, Sparrow- I see your point.” As he chuckled at her mild annoyance, he noticed two people approaching them and a grin spread across his face. “Looks like you just might get your wish tonight, Sparrow.”

“What?” Sam’s eyes went wide. “Cullen’s here?” Then she shrugged, taking a sip of her wine. “You know what? I don’t care- he doesn’t want to be seen with me anyway.” She grabbed Hawke’s hand. “Fuck it, cuz- you ready to cause a ruckus out on that dance floor tonight?”

Hawke’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “Now you're speaking my language.” He bowed and Sam covered her mouth to suppress a giggle. “I’ll try to keep myself in check, but I make no promises, dear cousin.”

Varric chuckled. “Well, I certainly hope your husband can keep himself in check because it looks like he and Meredith are about to stop by.” He flagged down the waiter and grabbed another glass of wine. “I… think I’m going to hang back and watch this… from over here.”

“Ass,” Hawke hissed before straightening up to greet the approaching Knight-Commander and Captain. “I hate you so much, Varric.”

He raised his glass, leaning against the column as the two approached. “Always happy to help a friend,” he replied jovially. 

_ _

* * *

Cullen was standing in the back of the room with Meredith when Hawke entered. Since he knew that Hawke always enjoyed being the center of attention, his entrance didn’t surprise him all that much. However, he was curious as to who the woman was on his arm- he didn’t know too many women that Hawke favored, so, when Hawke and the woman stopped to exchange pleasantries with a couple of nobles, he decided to keep a keen eye out to see if he could make out some details about the woman with him. 

But when he caught the scent of apples and cherries, his eyes widened with surprise- that woman on his arm was Sam? 

As they continued past him without a glance, Cullen felt his face begin to flush and knew he needed to excuse himself before he said something he would undoubtedly regret. He managed to stutter out an excuse to the Knight-Captain as he made his way over to the bar, grabbing a glass of water and downing it as fast as he could, never taking his eyes off his wife as she held onto Hawke’s arm. She looked as if she belonged there, laughing and smiling politely as Hawke whispered in her ear, pretending to translate what the nobles were saying to him as she answered their questions in perfectly-accented Orlesian. 

“She is stunning tonight, no?” A voice said from behind him. 

Even without turning around, Cullen knew exactly who it was. “Leli,” he said tersely. “I thought I was to be the date for my wife tonight.” 

“Funny, it looks as if you’re working,” Leli said, approaching him and coming to rest at his side. “I would think that you’d be over there and ‘introducing’ yourself as the high-ranking officer you are.” She took a sip of wine and stared him over the rim of her glass, the smile evident in her eyes. “It seems as if you have proper competition for the night… our Sam is out on what appears to be a proper date.” 

“You did this on purpose,” Cullen muttered, watching as Sam kissed Hawke on the cheek. “My wife is over there with another man, looking as if she belongs with him and there’s nothing I can do about it.” He took another glass of water and fumed as Hawke lifted the pendant she wore around her neck, hearing Leliana's soft laughter next to him. 

Leliana sat her glass down and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t say all that… don’t the two of you have to introduce yourselves this evening?” She lightly patted his arm before moving to the back of the room. "Maybe you should escort his ‘date’ while Hawke chats with the Commander?”

He swallowed, finishing his water and walking back over to Meredith. “Knight-Commander, should we go and make our introductions before Hawke gets to be… unencumbered?”

Meredith gave him a curt nod, and then the two of them began to make their way across the room to see Hawke, noticing his wife stiffen as they approached. Though it was almost imperceptible to anyone else, he knew her inside and out- he could tell she was unnerved by his presence. He remained quiet as they strode over, watching to see what she would do when they approached. 

Unsurprisingly, Hawke was the first to speak. “Ah, the Commander and the Captain!” Hawke exclaimed, giving them a sweeping bow. "Welcome to this gathering of stuffy nobles in the honor of the gutter rat they’d love to crush beneath their fancy shoes… alas, I have more lives than a house cat, so I fear they’ll be waiting for my demise a bit longer.” Then he gestured to Sam, a wide smile on his face. “And this is my cousin Samantha, who has so graciously agreed to accompany me to this den of despair this evening. Samantha, this is our Knight-Commander, Meredith Stannard,” he said as he walked over and placed an arm over Meredith, causing the woman to flinch. “And this strapping young man to my left is our dashing Knight-Captain, Cullen Rutherford.” 

Cullen felt his face go red, but he reached for his wife’s hand, bringing it to his lips. “Pleasure to meet you, Samantha,” he said huskily, not taking his eyes off hers. “I hope this man has been treating you well,” he said, raising an eyebrow. 

“He’s been better than my husband,” she replied with an Orlesian accent, smirking at him. “My husband is a terrible bore, but my cousin has been right entertaining,” she said, not taking her eyes off him for a moment. “Pity he couldn’t come with me tonight."

“I’m sure he wishes nothing more than to be on your arm tonight,” Cullen replied. As he took in her outfit he realized that he had yet to release her hand. Sadly, he released her and clasped his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry your husband isn’t treating you with the deference you deserve, Lady Samantha.” 

“He may yet get the hint one day,” she replied with a twinkle in her eye. “If he were as mannered as you, I daresay he might be perfect.” 

With his arm still draped over Meredith’s shoulder, Hawke signaled the waiter for another glass of wine. “Rutherford, can you take care of my cousin for me for a moment while I talk to our favorite Knight-Commander? I have some suggestions I want to share with her on a few things.” 

At that moment, Cullen felt his throat go dry- he felt like a true ass for all the bad things he’d thought about Hawke. “Of course, Champion."  
The band began to play a song, and he stared at Sam, offering his hand again. “Lady Samantha, while they chat, would you do me the honor of a dance? However, I fear I must warn you- I’m not all that good.”

Sam laughed, taking his hand. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.” 

He pulled her to the dance floor and he smiled as they started to dance. “I’m a bore, huh?” Cullen said softly, dipping her so he could whisper in her ear. “Lady Rutherford, I’m offended.”

She laughed, placing her hands lower on his hips than a casual dance partner would. “It looks like you’re proving me wrong, doesn’t it?” He spun her in a circle and she gasped. “If you keep this up, I might start thinking you want to be seen in public with me.” 

“I always do, Sam,” he said, bringing her as close to him as he dared. “It seems like our friends have conspired to give us a proper date tonight.”

“I was down for whatever when Leli told me I’d get to dress up and party,” Sam replied softly. “But dancing with my husband is fast becoming the highlight of the evening.” 

For a moment, he let his gaze lower to her chest, where her locket and his gift were on display. “I’m ashamed to admit that I’m a bit jealous and a bit proud that everyone can see my gift to you.”

“I know right?” Sam said with a grin. “I swear, this dress is ridiculous- I feel like I’m going to pop out at any moment.” 

“Hopefully, they can wait for the right moment,” Cullen whispered in her ear. “I think I should escort you home, as you look a bit… flushed.” He smiled, pulling her away from him as the music ended, offering her a deep bow and pulling her hand to his lips to place a chaste kiss on her knuckles. “But it would be a shame if your cousin had to leave his party because of you.”  


_ _

* * *

“Hawke!” Cullen called out, rushing me over to Hawke’s side. “Your cousin seems a bit unwell.”

“I… will be fine,” I panted softly, looking at Hawke and hoping that he got what the hell I was doing. “But I think I may need to go home and lie down. I’m afraid all this activity hasn’t agreed with me.” 

While Meredith was simply looking at me, Hawke’s eyes flitted between the two of us, silently taking in what was going on. Eventually, he got a slight smile on his face before replacing it with a scowl. “Damn it all, woman- you constantly do this! Why do you insist on going out when you know you’re unwell? This is my party- I wasn’t ready to leave yet!” 

I thought he was laying it on a bit thick, but I tried my best to look contrite. “I’m sorry, dear cousin- it wasn’t my intention.” 

Cullen cleared his throat. “Um, if I may,” he said, looking at Hawke. “I may have a solution.” He gestured to me. “If you don’t mind, I can escort Lady Samantha to your residence- no harm will come to her on my arm.” He turned to Meredith. “When I finish escorting her home, I will do a few rounds and return to the barracks, if you do not require my continued presence here.” 

“No, you are dismissed. Go- escort the young woman home- we don’t want anything happening to her on our watch.” She nodded and strode off, apparently happy to be rid of Hawke- I wondered what he’d said to her. 

When she was out of earshot, Hawke gave a soft laugh. “Was wondering when you two would decide to get the hell out of here.” He pressed his forehead to mine and kissed me on my nose. “Go… enjoy your evening- you deserve it.” Then he whispered to me, a mischievous grin on his face. “Leandra is here somewhere at the party and coming home with me tonight… hate to leave you in that empty house all alone for a few hours.” 

My eyes widened and Hawke tapped my nose before straightening up, turning to Cullen and patting his shoulder. “Get my cousin home safe, Rutherford- I’m sure her husband would be terribly miffed if anything were to happen to her.”

  
Cullen gave a sweeping bow. “I will take care of her as if she were my wife, Hawke.”  
—  
As we walked through the quiet streets of Kirkwall arm in arm, I shook my head and laughed. “One, I have to hand it to them- they did a pretty good job on us tonight. I wonder how Leli got Hawke in on this- I didn’t even know she knew him.”

“It’s Leli, Sam- are you truly all that surprised about what and who she knows?” He gave a slight shiver. “I swear, if it wasn’t for the fact that I am certain she’s our friend, that woman would scare me half to death.”

“She is my friend and she still scares me half to death,” I admitted. “You’re a brave motherfucker, Rutherford.”

“Sometimes,” he said with a grin. “You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now,” he whispered. “But if I’m being honest, I want to do much more than that."

“How do you stand it,” I replied quietly, feeling my pulse start to race at the sensation of his breath on my skin. “ I miss you every day and it’s only been four months for me, but it’s been four years for you. How are you not crazy?”

“Who said I’m not,” he replied casually. “I went from having the love of my life with me every single day to barely seeing you at all. The nights I can fall asleep holding you are the only ones I sleep soundly- every other one is just heavy with loneliness, Sam.” He paused, then turned to look at me. “I know you want more, Sam- I want it too.”

I looked away, feeling a bit ashamed that I had made him feel bad before. “Cullen, you don’t have to do this… like I told you, I get it. I knew who I married.” I patted his arm and continued walking again. “I know your duty comes first. It’s one of the things that I love about you- you always do what’s right, even if it’s hard, so I’d never try to change you, even if it benefitted me.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It doesn’t change the way you feel though, does it?”

I shook my head. “No… I love you too much to pretend that I’m happy about this.” Quickly realizing how my words could be misconstrued, I looked around, checking for people. When I saw no one, I leaned up, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “But I am happy when I’m with you.”

__

* * *

Once Bodahn let them in, Cullen realized that Hawke was right- the Amell estate was quiet and he turned to Sam, who was removing her wrap and setting it on a nearby chair. Before she could look up, he had crossed the room and pulled her over to him, crashing his mouth on hers with a fervor he had no idea he possessed. He’d restrained himself all evening long and now he was done being a good soldier- he wanted to be a good husband instead. Thanks to the incessant meddling of their friends, he realized that Leliana had given him the chance to have a night with his wife- though he couldn’t claim her in public, he had every intention of doing it here. 

Reverently, Cullen tried to kiss every trace of the purple paint from her lips- this Sam wasn’t his. No, he wanted her as she was, without pomp or circumstance- he wanted the girl who would take on the world to save him, the girl who made him laugh and groan in equal measure. He coaxed her tongue with his, willing her to show her just how eager he was to taste her. He kissed her for every moment he’d had to stand silent at that party, knowing that she should be on his arm and smiling up at him. Every time he connected with her, he cursed the moments where he had to deny his wife when he wanted nothing more than to claim her. This impossible girl was sent from the very heavens above, and against all odds, she was his- he wasn’t going to let another moment pass without letting her know. 

Unable to wait anymore, Cullen scooped Sam up in his arms and carried her up the stairs- he had no intention of wasting this opportunity to be alone with his wife. “One day, I’ll do this in our home,” he whispered in her ear as he approached the room. “But I’ll take what I can get for now.” 

“And I’ll happily accept,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair as they approached the room that contained a softly burning fire. “Whatever we have for now is enough."

“That’s where you’re wrong, Lady Rutherford,” Cullen replied as he gently set her on the bed and started to remove his armor, never taking his eyes off her. “Until the day I never have to leave your side, nothing will ever be enough.”

She smirked as she stood up, one hand perched on her hip. “Sounds kinda clingy, don’t you think? Going to the bathroom tends to be a solo activity for me.” 

“We'd figure it out,” he replied playfully, setting the last piece of his armor on the floor and crossing over to her. “We always do.”

“This is true,” Sam said as she turned her back to him and cast a sideways glance over her shoulder. “Now, can you find a way to free me from this velvet prison?"

Cullen ran his hands down her shoulders, placing soft kisses on her collarbone as he went. “Not sure I want to… you’re wrapped up like my perfect present right now and I’m slightly partial to it."

“Unless you’re secretly a cat, the best part of the present is usually what’s inside,” Sam replied with her eyes closed. “Don’t you want to see what’s underneath?”

“Mmmm,” he murmured as he slowly started to unlace the ribbons on the back of her dress. “I’m rather liking the suspense.”

“Cullen Rutherford, if you don’t get me out of this thing right now I swear to god I’m going to go home and cut myself out of it,” she huffed breathily. “I haven’t taken a deep breath in hours and I think I’m about ten seconds from passing the fuck out.”

“We can’t have that,” he chuckled as he slid the dress off her shoulders. “If you’re passing out, it should be my doing, not the clothing.”

“Talk is cheap, Rutherford,” she whispered as she stepped out of the dress and stood by the fire, resplendent in nothing but her stockings and smalls. “I thought you were all about action?” 

Stripping off his shirt and stepping out of his breeches, he smirked at his wife as he pulled her against him, trailing his fingers down her side, reveling in the sensation of her skin beneath his and watching as she shivered with each touch. “I am.” He turned her around, the firelight dancing in her eyes as he guided her to the floor, sliding off her smalls and tossing them away. “Do you know how much I’ve wanted to touch you tonight?” 

“Show me,” she said breathlessly as he trailed his fingers up her thighs, deliberately skipping to her other leg without giving her the touch she craved. 

“Funny, I thought I was,” he replied, kissing her neck and lowering his head, placing soft kisses down her chest. “I guess I should just stop then.”

“If you stop, I promise I will murder you in your sleep,” Sam growled. “You are many things, Rutherford, but a tease better not be one of them.”

“Language, Sam,” he said cheekily, gently nipping her stomach. “Such conduct is unbecoming of a lady.”

“Fuck you,” she breathed, threading her fingers in his hair. “How’s that for a lady?”

“There's my wife,” he murmured into her, causing her to gasp and pull his hair. “You had me confused for a moment.” Her scent was intoxicating to him and he tasted her, delighting in the sounds of her moans growing louder and louder as he enjoyed every inch of his wife. Now, there was no reason for them to be quiet- he could take her exactly as he wanted to. Seeing his wife spread naked in front of him made him ache to have all of her, but seeing her tanned skin reflecting the light of the fire as she writhed against his mouth made his painful wait worthwhile. He could feel her tightening against his tongue and her hands were clawing at him wildly, which only made him more excited. After being restrained and limited for so long, Cullen wanted to savor every sound, every scratch, and every twitch of her body.

Whatever the world thought was outside their walls, and thanks to their friends, tonight was about her- no one else mattered. Tonight, Cullen didn’t care if anyone heard them- let them hear how she called out his name when he slid inside her, or if they heard him finish, her name tumbling from his lips like a prayer. Laying with his wife by the fire, Cullen didn’t care if anyone heard him whisper how much he loved her as he stroked her hair, or if they heard the sound of her laughter as he placed feather-light kisses all over her body by the firelight. He’d cared about hiding those things for far too long- it felt wonderful to let go and be with her, enjoying the stolen minutes they had together.

Tonight, it was enough.


	8. An outside perspective (9:36 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Alistair have a conversation; Cullen gets advice from Varric

_ _

* * *

_Today was an absolute horror show_ , Varric thought. Between Meredith and Orsino being at each other’s throats and that idiot Thrask getting himself killed by aligning with blood mages that wanted to take over Kirkwall, the dwarf was pretty sick and tired of everyone’s shit lately. The fact that this cadre of idiots had kidnapped Bethany to piss off Hawke had done nothing to improve Varric's mood, either- he was ready to be done with the whole lot of them.

As he sat in the Hanged Man and tried to relax, he heard the clumping of boots approaching him. Not in the mood for social interaction at the moment, Varric closed his eyes, letting out a loud sigh, only to be greeted by a voice he certainly wasn’t expecting to hear this evening. 

“Varric, do you have a minute to spare?”

The dwarf looked up, slightly amused at the tentative question from the templar. He’d actually been penning a draft of his story regarding the templar and the traveler, but to have Cullen stop by his quarters was much more interesting, so he put it to the side for a moment and gave the man his attention. “After today, I should probably be asking you that question, Curly.” He turned to the templar, folding his hands. “How’s things over there in Crazytown, population Meredith and Orsino?”

Cullen let out a loud sigh, then settled into a nearby seat. “About as good as one would suspect, which is not at all,” he said wearily. “Those two are going to come to blows soon if she doesn’t stop tightening his leash, and he’s got to stop antagonizing her. Both say the other was responsible for this fiasco, even though I told them it was that blasted Thrask.” He ran a hand through his hair and Varric offered him a drink, which he graciously accepted. “I swear, I am at a loss as to why things are going so wrong lately.”

Varric raised his eyebrow. “You mean other than the fact that Meredith has pretty much turned the town into a police state?” Cullen looked away for a moment, and the dwarf continued, noticing that he touched a nerve. “That wouldn’t have anything to do with Sparrow be fairly incognito around here lately, would it?”

“It’s not safe, Varric,” Cullen replied. “Not right now, at least.”

“So it’s not safe for your wife, but it’s ok for everyone who lives here?” Cullen glared at him, but Varric simply raised his hands. “Look, I’m just saying, Curly- even if you don’t want to admit it, on some level, you gotta know that what’s going on here can’t possibly be right.” Seeing the expression on Cullen’s face, Varric ordered another drink. “How’s Bethany?” 

“Still a bit shaken, but she’s recovering. I… I don’t know what to think,” he replied. “I believe in the Order, but I also know that there are good people who have magic- Templars are there to protect them, too.” He smiled sadly. “I’ve dedicated my life to that goal in more ways that one, I suppose.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the good ones, Curly. I just think your boss is a little-“ He made a swirl around his temple with a finger and grinned when the templar frowned. “But anyway, other than the fact that our leader is turning this town into a powder keg and our Grand Cleric is content to stick her head in the sand, how are things going for you?"

“Well…that’s actually what I came here to talk to you about, if you must know.” The templar let out a loud sigh, then looked up at the dwarf. “Varric, you are an author, correct?”

“So my publisher tells me,” he replied with a grin, clasping his hands together and resting them on the table. “Out with it- what’s on your mind, Curly?”

“Well,” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, then produced some letters from his pocket. “I need some help writing a letter.”

Varric looked at him, amused. “I thought you and Sparrow did that weird mind thing,” he said, tapping his head. “Why the sudden need for the written word?”

“It’s not for her,” Cullen answered quickly. When Varric glared at him, Cullen’s eyes widened. “Maker, no! Why does everyone around here seem to think I’m physically incapable of being devoted to my wife?” He let out a soft sigh, then ran his hands through his hair. “It’s to her father,” he replied plaintively. “The man positively hates me and I’m trying to write something that makes him less… murderous.” Cullen handed him the letters he’d brought with him. “As you can see, the man absolutely abhors me."

Scanning the letters, Varric let out a low whistle. "Well, shit, Curly- what did you do to this man?” He grinned. “Well, besides what I can see here, that is.”

Cullen settled into a nearby seat, then placed his head on the table. “Married his daughter without his knowledge or permission,” he mumbled. “It’s been years, but since time doesn’t pass the same way there, I’d say his ire is quite… fresh.”

“I’ll say,” Varric replied, thumbing through the letters. “Looks like you came to the right place, Loverboy,” he said, patting him on the shoulder. “So, spill it- what do you want to say?” 

Briefly, Cullen looked up from his resting place on the table. “Would starting with ‘please don’t hate me’ be too much to ask?” 

“Most likely, yes.”

“Then I’m at a loss,” Cullen moaned, lowering his head again. “I don’t get it- save Hawke and you lot, I can bring the whole city to heel with just a look. But this man has me quaking in my boots, Varric.” 

“That’s because he’s family,” Varric replied mildly, thinking of Bartrand for a moment. “Family always gets under our skin.” 

“I didn’t do it out of spite,” Cullen said into the wood. “I did it to prove to Sam that I meant what I said.” 

Varric raised an eyebrow. “I… don’t think you want to say that, Curly.” He paused for a moment, watching in horror as the templar folded his arms around his head. “Wait, tell me you didn’t say anything like that to the man…”

In response, Cullen groaned. “I thought I was simply being forthright!” 

It was now Varric’s turn to groan. “Maker help you, you really are hopeless,” he said, shaking his head. “Curly, I got a plan. You ready?"

“I cannot get any worse,” the templar grumbled. “I’m all ears, Varric- teach me something.”

“Ok,” he said, taking a blank piece of parchment and a quill. “Give me a minute- I’m sure I can give you a few tips.” 

_ _

* * *

That evening, armed with advice from Varric, Cullen sat down at his desk and began to write.

_Sir,_

_I realize that my actions were not honorable- you have every right to be angry, but I also understand how important you are to Samantha, so I would like the chance to apologize for my actions. I would like to take a moment to start over, and not only get the chance to know you but offer more information on myself as well._

_As far as my intentions toward Samantha, I want to give her the world- more than anything, I want her with me. I am unsure how much Samantha has told you of the circumstances of our world, but she has been the brightest spot in the darkest of days here. My only regret is that I can’t be with her permanently right now, and I’ll admit that I am at a loss with how to reconcile my duty to my country with my love for her. I keep turning the problem over in my head, but I can’t seem to come up with a solution._

_I suppose that part of the issue is that first and foremost, I’m a soldier- I prefer action to words, and I take my duty very seriously. As a result, I’m not a man that likes writing, and that is probably evident in my missives- often, I forget that what I say can be easily misinterpreted. My father always used to tell me what I said didn’t matter- what I did was more important. I suppose that is why I approached the situation the way I did- I was saying everything I felt, but it seemed inadequate. Your daughter is the love of my life, and I had already had one too many close calls during our travels- I couldn’t let another moment go by without showing her how much she meant to me. This is not to say this declaration was done in the best way, but I feel you deserve to know how I was approaching the situation._

_Again, I have no illusions of my culpability in this matter- it is simply my hope that one day, you will see me as even somewhat worthy of your daughter. Until that day, I will continue to try to mend fences, as Samantha’s happiness is the most important thing in the world to me._

_Regards,_  
_Your son-in-law,_  
_Cullen Rutherford_

Before he could succumb to his nerves, he quickly sent the letter off with Baron Plucky, praying it would find her father in a somewhat decent mood. 

_ _

* * *

After finishing up with my training for the evening, I stretched out on the roof and stared up at the sky, trying to sort through my thoughts. Between the tension with me and Cullen and the dreams I’d been having recently, I needed a mental break. The dreams, in particular, were starting to unnerve me, and I was starting to get the nagging suspicion that there might be more to it, especially now that I was starting to remember bits and pieces of them when I was awake. 

_Did I really have a dream about Lana acting like a spaz with Ali in a mall?_

Shaking my head and eating a slice of the pizza I had taken outside with me, I reached out, hoping Ali was available. I could look and see what he was doing, but I was always leery of that- I’d seen him once getting ready for bed and practically tried to burn that mental picture out of my brain. I’d rather take the mental wobble of rewinding time than potentially seeing him in a compromising situation. Shuddering, I smiled, taking a bite of my cheesy concoction. _Ali, I thought, are you able to talk for a minute?_

_Sure thing, Sparrow- I’m just about to make dinner._

I frowned, taking another bite and burning my tongue. _Who pissed you off? Why would you do something like that to them?_

 _Haha,_ he thought sarcastically. _I’m by myself, and I still have to eat. Seriously, I don’t know what you guys keep talking about- my cooking isn’t that bad, Sam._

_Dog won’t eat it, Ali. That should tell you something._

_Dog is just spoiled,_ he replied. _Which is your fault, I might add. He used to be a proud Mabari hound and now he turns up his nose at good Ferelden cooking._

 _When he finds good cooking, I’m sure he’ll eat it,_ I said with a laugh. _Well, since you’re alone and cooking, I guess I don’t have to offer to share my pizza with you._

He paused for a moment. _Pizza? Is that the stuff with the melted cheese on that flat, hard bread?_

_Yup. Got a large pizza here, just for me. No worries- I figured if you didn’t want it I would just have leftovers. Guess I can go downstairs and put it away since you’ve gotten to be such a great chef and all._

_Maker, don’t do that,_ he exclaimed. _We all know my cooking sucks, Sparrow- bring the pizza._

“Good- I didn’t really want to eat pizza for two days anyway,” I said with a grin as I appeared behind him, holding the pizza box. “Good to see you again, Ali.” 

He jumped at my sudden appearance, then let out a loud laugh. “How many times do I have to tell you, swooping is bad, Sparrow?” He wrapped me up in a big hug, then reached over for a slice of the pizza. “But I suppose I can forgive you, just this once.”

“Good to know, cause I need to pick your brain,” I said as I finished my slice of pizza. I knew that if I didn’t hurry up and eat it, it might suddenly disappear under mysterious circumstances. “I’ve got a question, and I think you’re the only one who can answer it for me.”

“That’s a first,” Alistair said as he popped the whole damn slice of pizza in his mouth, looking like a cheese-stuffed gerbil. “So,” he said as he finally swallowed, “what’s on your mind?”

For all his qualities, Alistair was an absolute shit liar- I was still a little pissed at him for outing Anders to Cullen. I sat down and stared at him, wondering if he was going to try and dodge my question. “Have you been having weird dreams?” I asked.

“I’m a Grey Warden- weird dreams are part of the welcome packet,” he joked, reaching for another slice of pizza. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that.” 

“Lana,” I answered softly. “I’m having dreams about her… and you. But it’s not us,” I said as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. “It’s like a bizzaro version of us or something."

His face went white, pausing mid-bite. “Explain,” he said, setting down his slice of pizza and staring hard at me. 

I shifted in my seat. “I couldn’t really remember them all that clearly, but this one I had recently… It helped me find my sister, Ali.” I looked up at him and knew that he understood exactly what I was talking about. “In this one, we found you.”

“I was in a place with a lot of loud music and ice, and people were dancing with blades on their feet,” he said quietly. “Then you and Lana came up to me.”

My jaw dropped. “Ali… that’s the same dream I had.” I looked at him in shock, feeling a little better when I noticed his expression matched my own. “How is that possible?” 

“The girl who pops in and out of time and magically appears anywhere in the world is asking me how something is possible?” He raised his eyebrow at me. "If you don’t know what’s going on, then I should be cowering beneath the blankets right now, Sam."

I shifted to settle next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me. “I don’t know what to make of it, Ali,” I said honestly. “The first time it happened, I couldn’t really remember what was going on. But this time, when I woke up… things were clear. Like clear enough for me to draw,” I said slowly, pulling out my sketchbook. “Is this what you remember?” 

When he looked at the picture of him and Lana in the mall by the ice rink, he put his hand to his mouth. “Maker, Sam… this is my dream.” 

“I figured. Maybe it’s the locket?” I asked. “I don’t take it off… I assume you don’t, either.”

He shook his head. “No, never. It’s the one thing I have of hers… and it's my connection to you. Why would I take it off?” 

“Ali… how does the Fade work in your world?” I asked carefully. “Could this be some weird magic stuff you’re doing and I’m just along for the ride?” 

“Doubtful- like you, I don’t feel like myself in these dreams- it feels like you're someone else, correct?” I nodded, and he gave me a wan smile. "I think this is something else- even when I’m in the fade, I feel like myself, with my own thoughts and emotions. This is a different person entirely… I think we’re just-“ He paused, then he turned to me, eyes wide as saucers. “We’re _watching_ , Sam.”

“Shit,” I breathed. “I think you’re right- Lana’s out there, somewhere… and we’re watching her!” 

“Well, now that we’ve figured that out,” Alistair asked as he rubbed my shoulder absentmindedly, “What do we do about it?”

I bit my lip, lost in thought. “Seems like that’s the million-dollar question, Ali.” 

_ _

* * *

Before he retired for the evening, Cullen heard a soft caw from the windowsill. Looking over, he noticed the red-eyed raven staring at him, his small head gesturing to the newest letter he had delivered. When Cullen took the letter and gave the bird a small offering of bread and a thimble of water, the raven let out a soft squawk, gently ruffling its feathers before flying away to roost in a nearby tree.

With trepidation, Cullen opened the letter, half expecting it to blow up in his face. 

_Rutherford,_

_I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting that letter this evening. I also don’t like writing, so I’ll keep this short._

_* Didn’t know you were a soldier- that explains a lot._  
_* I respect that you didn’t string my daughter along. I still think you’re an asshole for the way you went about it, but I respect that you thought it was what you had to do._  
_* I repeat, I still think it was a dick move._  
_* Right now, you’re lucky- you can have it both ways. But mark my words, one day, you’re going to have to figure out which is more important, love or duty?_  
_* My daughter seems to be willing to give up almost everything to deal with your ass- what are you willing to give up for her?_

_Just so we're clear, I still don’t like you._  
_-Dean_


	9. Holy shit, I was just kidding about that (9:37 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relations between Templars and Mages come to a head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early posting- see you guys tomorrow for yet another chapter!

_ _

* * *

I was in bed and trying to reach Alistair when Cullen broke into my thoughts. _Did you know!_

I stared at my ceiling, dumbfounded- the tension in his voice was practically rattling my brain. _Huh?_ I sat up, thoroughly confused. _What are you talking about? What am I supposed to know?_

 _Did you see this happening!_ Cullen screamed in my head. _How could you not warn us about this!_

 _What the fuck are you talking about?_ I thought, thoroughly frustrated. _I haven’t seen anything- hell, I haven’t even been there recently!_

_Either you or your mother had to see this- this is too much for neither one of you to have known!_

_Cullen, I’m going to need you to calm the fuck down for a minute._ I was desperately trying to stop myself from getting angry, but his tone was pissing me off. _I honestly have no clue what you’re talking about right now._

 _Anders… just blew up the Chantry,_ he said angrily. _The Grand Cleric and everyone inside is dead, Sam._

 _Holy shit,_ I thought, staggering back against the pillows. _Anders did this? Are you sure?_

 _Very,_ he thought bitterly. _He wanted to start a war, Sam. Meredith is issuing the Right of Annulment because of it._

 _She can’t!_ I thought angrily as I bolted upright. _What about all the other mages? What about Bethany? What about Hawke? Cullen, you can’t let her do this!_

 _A mage killed the Grand Cleric, Sam,_ Cullen thought angrily. _The people are going to demand retribution._

 _But how does murdering all the innocent people at the Circle sound like a valid solution? Did the mages in the Circle suddenly stop being people?_ I hopped out of bed, grabbing my clothes. _Where is Hawke? We can’t let Meredith do this!_

 _Hawke sided with Orsino,_ Cullen said angrily. _I knew that Justice was going to be a problem, but you told me it wasn’t an issue! You said you would help me deal with it if he got out of hand. This is the result of that- you bear that cost, Sam- those lives are on your hands!_

 _Fuck you,_ I spat angrily. _I didn’t see it! I only see things that have the potential to be changed- I never saw this! If I don’t get to take on responsibility for Lana’s choice, don’t you fucking dare pull that on me now!_

 _He blew up an entire building!_ Cullen screamed in my head. _How in the bloody hell is that not a choice?_

 _I’ve already told you, some things are fixed!_ I screamed back. _Do you honestly fucking think I’d have let you get tortured if I had a way around it? Do you think I’d have let my sister die if I could’ve seen it?_

He went silent, but when he returned his voice sounded strained. _You need to get here, Sam- Hawke is on his way to the Gallows and Meredith is calling for his arrest._ Cullen sounded like he was a second away from losing every shred of self-control he had. _He needs you- help Hawke figure out the right thing to do._

 _I don’t decide right or wrong, Cullen,_ I said as I searched for Hawke, steeling myself as I got ready to leave. _I_ _can only tell what the consequences of choices are._

_\--_

“What in the entire fuck is going on?” I screamed as I approached the group. “What the hell? Why the hell did Anders just become the Thedas version of the Unabomber?”

“He turned into Justice,” Hawke spat as he held his dagger at Anders's throat. “Said there was to be no compromise and then he blew up the blasted Chantry!” He turned to me, scowling. “Thought you were the fortune teller, Sam! How could you not tell us this would happen!” 

“How many times am I going to have to tell you bastards _I couldn’t see it_ ,” I said angrily. “It’s a fixed moment- _I can’t see those!_ "

“Not to break up this lovely debate,” Varric said, jumping between me and Hawke. “But we need to figure out what to do about Blondie here, not mention we gotta figure out how we stop the crazy lady who wants to kill Hawke’s sister and every other mage in Kirkwall?”

I let out a deep breath, trying to will myself to calm down. “What’s your question, Hawke- If I can help you with a _choice_ ,” I said angrily as I glared at Anders, “then I will.” 

“What happens if I let Anders live?” he asked quietly. ”Orsino left his fate to me.”

 _Oh- not what I was expecting, that's for sure._ I closed my eyes, feeling for the thread and looking at the possible outcomes. “You kill him and you’re going to die inside,” I told him sadly, then turning angrily to Anders and punching him in the face, hard. “Nice to see how much you really loved my cousin, you ignorant sonofabitch!” I screamed, holding my inflamed hand- as I’d been told before, punching people wasn’t the best idea. "I hope it was fucking worth it!"

Before I could strike him again, Varric grabbed me by my waist, hauling me away from the mage. “Easy, Sparrow- now’s not the time. We gotta get to the Gallows and stop Meredith from killing everyone, including your cousin. So,” he said as he jerked his thumb at Anders, "what do we do about this asshat? I swear, I’m tired of mages and templars, to be honest.”

“Hawke, you have two choices- take him with you or let him run off,” I said with a sigh. “Personally, I’d take him with us- maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll get himself killed.” 

“I can live with that,” Hawke said grimly, hoisting Anders to his shoulders. “Now that we've gotten that settled, let’s get up there and see if we can talk some sense into that crazy bitch of a Knight-Commander.”

“Um… about that,” I said softly. “Cullen just told me that Meredith is calling for your arrest.” I raced over, throwing my arms around Hawke. “I'm gonna need you to be careful- I don’t want to lose your ass just when you learn how to start acting like an adult,” I whispered.

He placed a kiss on my forehead. “Meh, what kind of hero would I be if I didn’t sacrifice myself for the greater good?” He pulled back, looking over at the rest of the Kirkwall crew, who were standing strong behind him. “Besides, if I get arrested, I got some of the best thieves around over there to break me out before I swing from the gallows, right?"

I shook my head violently. “Fuck that- I’ve lost one family member to the greater good already and I’m not letting that happen again.” I looked around at the others, getting a nod from Varric and a hug from Hawke. “I’m with you, cuz,” I said with conviction. “Mom told me I wouldn’t be able to sit on the sidelines forever… I guess she was right.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate the support,” Hawke said quietly as we headed off toward the Gallows, “but you do realize your husband is with them, right? What are you going to do if he sides with Meredith?” 

I squared my shoulders and blew out a deep breath as I hopped in the boat behind Merrill. “Then he’s not the man I married,” I said quietly. “My husband said that templars are there to protect mages, not control them. If he truly believes that, then he’ll see reason.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Varric asked as we drifted on, the only sound in the air being the waves beneath the boat. “I know you love him, Sparrow, but we gotta be prepared for-“

“I know what you’re telling me, Varric,” I said quietly. “But I believe in him.” 

“You of all people know better than to doubt Sparrow, Varric,” Hawke chided from the back of the boat. "Cullen will make his choice, just as we make ours tonight.” 

“I know,” Varric replied softly watching as the tower loomed in front of them. “But for her sake, I hope it’s the right one.” 

_ _

* * *

“You’ll pay for what you’ve done, Meredith,” Hawke growled as he approached. “This is insanity! Look what you’ve driven them to do!”

At his voice, Meredith puffed up, indignant. “I will be rewarded for what I’ve done here, in this world and the next!” She looked at the rogue with disdain, glaring at Anders with an intensity Cullen had never seen before. “I have done nothing but perform my duty- what happens to you now is your own doing.” Sneering, she grabbed the hilt of her sword. “You are no mage, but in supporting them you’ve elected to share their fate.” 

Cullen paled- this was not what he had signed up for. “Knight-Commander, I thought we intended to arrest the Champion.” 

Her reply was curt and unyielding. “You will do as I command, Knight-Captain- that is an order!”

He had no intention of seeing anything happen to Hawke- like him or not, he was his family. Long ago, he'd made a promise to Lana to protect her family, and he didn’t intend on stopping now. As he stared at the insane woman in front of him, Sam's words drifted through his brain like ghosts-

_it’s one of the things that I love about you- you always do what’s right, even if it’s hard._

He swallowed as he looked at the Knight-Commander. _I will not be remembered as the man who stood by and did nothing,_ he thought. _This madness ends now._ When he saw the Kirkwall crew standing behind Hawke, he moved towards them, his decision made. _If I’m to die, I will do it being the man she knows me to be._

“No,” he declared. “I defended you when Thrask started whispering you were mad. But this-“ he shook his head disgustedly. “This is too far.”

“I will not allow insubordination!” Meredith screamed. “I have given an order and I expect you to follow it!"

“And I said no,” he replied, resolute in his decision. “This madness has to end, Meredith.”

She growled as she yanked the sword from her scabbard, it’s unnatural and sickening red glow pulsating as she brandished it at him, then at Hawke. “You recognize it, do you not?” She smiled maniacally, stroking the hilt of the blade. “Ah, pure lyrium, taken from the Deep Roads.” She aimed the sword at Hawke, who did not flinch. “The dwarf charged a great deal for his prize.”

“This woman is even stupider than I thought,” Hawke grumbled as he turned to the Knight-Commander. “Meredith, you’re a blasted idiot! That idol poisoned Bartrand’s mind in the end! Why the hell would you take the bloody thing?”

She looked at the rogue scornfully, scoffing at his accusation. “He could not handle such power! He was weak, whereas I am not!” She looked over her shoulder at the other templars, her eyes manic. “All of you, I want him dead! Now!”

Cullen rushed in front of Hawke, knowing this insanity had to end. “Enough!” he yelled. “This is not what the Order stands for!” He put his hand on his sword, ready to use it if needed. “Knight-Commander, step down!” Cullen yelled. “I relieve you of your command!"

“ _Yes_!” A voice exclaimed proudly, making him want to jump out of his skin. “I told you he’d do the right thing! That’s _my_ motherfucking man right there!” 

Cullen felt his heart stop when he saw Sam standing with Hawke as they approached the Gallows. She had no armor and no sword with her- clad in her jeans and sweatshirt, she was the tiniest thing there next to Merrill, but the look on her face was positively venomous when she stared at the Knight-Commander. 

He raced over to Sam, knowing the risk and not caring- he was too worried about her right then. “Sam,” he cried, yanking her away from the crazed woman. “What are you doing here? It isn’t safe!"

"I’m standing with my cousin," she replied. "I’m doing what’s right- I’m not going to let her go through with the Right of Annulment, Cullen."

"Sam, I beg of you, go home! I don’t want you involved in this," he pleaded. "I couldn’t live with myself if something were to happen to you.”

Meredith looked at him with unchecked fury as he held Sam close to him, then turned to the girl at his side. “It appears my own Knight-Captain has fallen prey to the influence of blood magic- I can sense it coming off her in waves!” 

"There are no blood mages here!” Cullen yelled. “You are looking for reasons where there are none! I beg of you, stop this madness!” 

She looked at Cullen as if he was the one who had lost his mind, then wheeled around to the other templars. “You’ve all allowed these blood mages to control your minds, to turn you against me! You’re weak, all of you!”

“Holy shit, she’s nuttier than a goddamn fruitcake,” Sam marveled. “And… what the hell is going on with her sword? Why does it look like a lightsaber right now?” 

“Red lyrium,” Varric said angrily. “Same crap that drove Bartrand nuts and made him kill everyone… total bargain.”

“Oh shit,” she whispered, her face falling at his words. “That’s the stuff my mom said for me to run like hell from, guys.” She swallowed nervously. "I don't know what it is, but if it scared my mom, then that stuff is seriously bad news."

Meredith began brandishing the sword at the nearby templars, screaming at the top of her lungs. “It doesn’t matter! I don’t need any of you! I will protect this city myself!” She leaned forward, thrusting the sword at Sam. “Starting by ridding it of you!”

Sam’s eyes widened and Cullen's blood began to boil- not only had this woman threatened his charges, his friends and his city, but now she had threatened his wife, and that would _not_ stand. “I swear unto the maker, you will _never_ touch her, understand?” Cullen growled, thrusting his blade at her throat. "You’ll go through me first."

“Idiot boy!” Meredith screamed. “You’re just like the others!"

“She’s clearly lost her mind!” Anders yelled. “We have to do something!”

“No shit,” Sam muttered, popping something into her mouth as she backed away from Meredith. “Thanks, Captain Obvious, but you should remember that shutting the fuck up is free, dude."

Cullen ignored the two and his eyes widened as Meredith drove her sword into the ground, chanting as the earth began to vibrate beneath their feet and rings of red light began to encircle the woman. “Blessed are those who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter!” 

She raised her sword, and Cullen and Hawke readied their weapons, prepared for battle. “Then I will not falter!” Hawke screamed. “This ends now!”

_ _

* * *

Watching Bethany, Cullen and the Kirkwall crew make short work of Meredith was… oddly satisfying. 

That is, until she somersaulted like a Russian gymnast onto one of the ledges of the tower, sending a wave of red light through the courtyard… and animating the two humongous statues that flanked the Gallows. 

As I stared dumbfounded at the scene unfolding before me, Varric grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me off to the side with him. “Um, Sam,” he yelled as Isabela danced out of the way to narrowly avoid being crushed beneath a metal heel, “Maybe you want to do your stop time thing so those statues don’t crush our friends? Just a thought,” he said breathlessly as he fired a volley of bolts at the statue, not slowing it down in the slightest. 

“Good idea!” I yelled just as Cullen was hit in the face by one of the metal creatures, causing blood to pour from his lip. “Oh my god, Cullen! I gotta go-“

“No,” Varric replied firmly and holding me in place as I squirmed, trying to run to my husband. “Stop time, Sparrow- that’s how you can help him."

Knowing he was right, I took a deep breath and began concentrating on shifting the moments. For a second, everything was fine, but then it looked like the statues were moving through water- nothing had stopped, per se, but it had slowed down considerably. “Uh oh, it’s the red lyrium! Mom warned me to stay away from it- it’s messing with my power!” I glanced down at the ring, noticing that the color was darkening much quicker than normal. “And it’s draining my reserves faster, too!” I cupped my hands and yelled out to my friends. “I won’t be able to hold them back much longer! Take out Meredith while I have them, guys!” 

“Good plan, Sam!” Hawke yelled as he raced for Meredith, driving his blade through her neck just as I had to restart time.

“I will not be defeated with blood magic!” Meredith screamed, grabbing her neck. With her attention divided, the statues stopped advancing, falling motionless to the ground by her side. “Maker!” Meredith gurgled, her eyes red and her mouth full of blood, “Aid your humble servant! I beg of you!” 

She stretched out her sword, channeling even more energy into the cursed blade- the air was so thick with the corrosive scent of the cursed lyrium that I could barely breathe. _Mom was right_ , I thought, clutching my side as I gasped for air. _That stuff is deadly- why would anyone use it?_

Apparently, Meredith didn’t get the memo- she funneled so much magic into the sword that it exploded, sending out a pulse of red magic that knocked us backward and engulfing the woman in a swirl of red strands. I didn't know what everyone else saw, but for me, it was as if every strand of red magic was stealing the very essence of the woman. It devoured her as she screamed, turning her into a living statue- I could feel her energy thrumming beneath her stone casing, while the cracks pulsated with that horrible red energy. She was trapped in a living death, but that magic was very much alive- the malice coming from it was almost palpable.

Wheezing, I collapsed to the ground, overwhelmed by the sensation of the tainted magic. It felt like I was having a panic attack- whereas before I felt overwhelmed and sickened by the number of choices coming from those with important branches, now I was suffocating from the _lack_ of choices. It was as if all my threads were being snuffed out, and finally, after fighting with everything I had to take a deep breath, I screamed.

_ _

* * *

When Meredith was no longer screaming, Cullen and the templars gathered around the Kirkwall crew, cornering them in the courtyard- they were surrounded and outnumbered. With Meredith… _dead_ , Cullen was now the interim Knight-Commander- the responsibility to deal with the Champion and his lover now fell to him. He locked eyes with Hawke and just as he was about to say something, an ear-splitting scream tore through the air- Cullen felt the blood in his veins turn to ice when he realized what it was.

“Sam!” Cullen cried out, ignoring Hawke as he ran over to her side, holding her as she gasped for air. 

At the same moment, Hawke and Anders raced to her as well. “What’s wrong with Sam? What do we do?”

“I… I don’t know!” Cullen stammered, completely at a loss. His wife was going pale and the tips of her fingers were turning blue as she gasped for air. “Sam, I’m here,” he said, stroking her hair and trying to calm her down. “ Tell me, what do you need?”

She opened and closed her mouth, gasping like a fish. “Do something!” Cullen screamed, staring at Hawke. “She’s dying!”

“Can’t… feel… anything,” She croaked. “No magic left… can’t go home. Can’t… breathe.” 

Without another word, Anders leaned over, running his hands over Sam, sending healing magic into her body. “This is all I can do- it’s not an injury,” he said, his voice tinged with frustration. “It’s like her magic is going haywire.”

“She used too much stopping time,” Varric said breathlessly as he ran over. “When she was doing it, she said it was leaving faster than normal. Can we just give her a lyrium potion or something?"

“Shit! “ Cullen hissed, practically kicking himself for not remembering sooner. As soon as the dwarf had spoken, everything had clicked back into place. “I need her bag!” He looked around and spied her satchel, frantically rummaging through it for the emergency container of liquid she carried and feeling his panic rising as he looked at the canister. “I.. I don’t know how to open this!” Cullen cried frantically, turning the metal container over and over in his hands. “She needs to drink it, but I don’t know how to open it!” 

“Oh for pity’s sake, move!” Hawke said, stabbing the can with a dagger. Just as he was about to protest Hawke destroying the only thing that could save her, a small brown stream of liquid began to pour out of the can and Hawke guided it into her mouth, watching intently as she gulped it down. 

After a few seconds, her color began to warm, and her breathing evened out. She opened her eyes and gave him a weak smile, touching her hand to his cheek. He was just about to ask how she was, but she put a hand to her lips, smiling as she disappeared from his arms, leaving the four men standing there in shock. 

“Your love is safe,” Hawke said quietly, then looked over at Anders. “But what about me and mine?”

Cullen opened his mouth to protest, then closed it, looking at Varric. He knew what his duty was, but he also knew what love was, what it could make you do. So instead of condemning, he pulled out his ring and asked a question. “How can you still love him after what he did?”

Hawke just looked at the templar, then cast his eyes downward. “What could she ever do that would make you love her any less, Curly?”

“You’re going to be on the run, you know that?” Cullen said softly. “If I ever see you here again, I will have to take action.” Then, he turned to Varric, eyes pleading and serious at the same time. “And if you ever tell this story, my love does not exist. I will not have her involved in this.”

“She was here, Curly,” Varric said softly. “They saw her.” 

“You’re the storyteller,” he replied, tucking his ring back into his shirt. “Find a way to change the story so your friend can continue his.”

Cullen held his breath, hoping the dwarf would help him- he needed to keep her safe. She’d almost given her life to save them, and he wasn’t going to let them use her as an idol or a scapegoat for Hawke’s actions. For a moment, no one spoke, but soon Varric looked at Hawke and Anders, who were staring at the spot Samantha had been. “Deal,” he said quietly, then turned to Hawke and Anders. “The Champion and the Apostate were missing, never to be heard from again.”

“And the cousin?” Cullen pressed softly. “What of her?”

“No one saw a cousin after the party,” Varric said, staring at him solemnly. “What about her?"

Cullen nodded, then stood up to walk back toward the Templars- there would be a lot of explaining to do. He couldn’t look at the rogue- he was what he would have considered a friend, once, but now he couldn’t stand to look at him without seeing his lover and the chaos Anders had just let loose on his city. Instead, Cullen chose to be silent, turning his back on the man who had just saved his wife, who he'd once called his family. He couldn't watch as they walked away- Cullen knew that he was betraying his duty by letting them leave, but if he couldn't save Lana, he could at least save her family. This, he could give her- he owed his friend that much, at least.

For once, Hawke didn’t say anything about it. Instead, he could hear him rise to his feet, and as Hawke walked away, Cullen could hear his voice on the wind, soft but still audible.

“After all she’s given him, I hope my cousin’s husband finally decides to do right by her."


	10. By any other name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lana gets ready for a date

_ _

* * *

Sam flopped on Lana's bed with a candy she called a lollipop dangling from her lips. “So... " Sam prodded, "what are you wearing? Where are you going?”

Lana jumped on the bed next to her, causing the girl to squeal. “He has offered to pick me up and take me to-“ she frowned, trying to recall the name and failed- in the end, she had to resort to glancing at her phone and reading the message again. “An Italian restaurant.”

Sam frowned, pointing at the girl. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you lately, but as a rule, we usually don’t go giving the hot guy our home address right away... just saying.” Lana frowned and Sam held up her hands, giving her a wicked grin. “Hey, I’m not trying to get murdered because you want to get laid.”

“ _Sam!_ ” Lana huffed, hitting her with a pillow. “Ali is not like that!”

 _“Ali?"_ Sam removed the candy from her mouth and raised an eyebrow at her. "What, we're on a nickname basis with the man now?”

“He didn’t seem to mind,” Lana retorted, trying to hide her embarrassment. “At any rate, I’m sure Mom is more than capable of defending the house because of my potential misstep, Sam.”

“True... I think she’d drug him and hide his body somewhere if he got out of pocket.” Sam shuddered. “Man, that woman scares the fuck outta me sometimes- I swear, if I didn’t know better, I’d say she was psychic or something.”

 _That is the biggest understatement I’ve ever heard_ , Lana thought. “Or something sounds about right,” she replied with a laugh. “Not to worry, Sam- I’ll be fine. At least, I will be when I find something to wear... I admit I am at a loss when it comes to things like this.”

“Then it’s lucky you got me, huh? I may be perpetually undateable, but I do know how to rock a look, at least. Be glad you weren’t stuck asking Grace- that girl wouldn’t know fashion if it bit her in the ass.” Her smile wavered for a moment, then she blew out a deep breath. “I, however, will make you look fabulous!” 

Lana put her arm around Sam. “You miss Grace, don’t you?” 

“Is it that obvious?” Lana nodded and Sam let out a small laugh. “I know they just left this morning and I know I’ll see them again soon, but it sucks, man. We’re a trio, not a duet.” She leaned her head on Lana’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she’s got John, but I miss her here... with us. And I can’t even talk to her right now, which makes it worse. You aren’t going to run off with ‘Ali’ and leave me, are you?" Sam rolled over and poked Lana in the side. "Cause I'd need a new roommate if you did, and we both know the other girls in the dorm are weird AF, so I'mma have to take a hard pass on you bouncing on me, sis.”

 _That sounds a lot like my Sam_ , Lana thought. “Not until I know if he has a strapping blonde friend that has an affinity for brunettes,” she replied, cutting her eyes to Sam. In response, her sister let out a snort, causing the two girls to erupt in laughter. “Besides, I thought we were a package deal? Where I go, you go, remember?”

“Damn straight.” Sam chirped, giving Lana a tight hug around her waist. “Can’t split up a bomb-dot-com package like us, right?” 

Lana felt a shiver creep up her back at her statement but suppressed it, choosing to smile at the girl instead. 

_Nothing to worry about, it’s probably something a lot of people say in this world._

“So, sister of mine,” Lana said brightly, changing the subject, “how do you propose to make me fabulous? I’m waiting with bated breath to see what you can come up with.”

Sam jumped up, sauntering over to her closet and thumbing through the racks of clothes. “Nope, nope, nope, nope,” she said as she quickly moved through the pieces. “God, do you own anything that doesn’t scream ‘I’m a student who barely gets laid?’”

“Honestly, I have no idea what is in there,” Lana replied with a shrug. “As far as I am concerned, clothes are there to keep me warm.”

“UGH!” Sam exclaimed. “You are a fucking nightmare, you know that?” She paused, grabbing a pair of jeans from the closet before heading out of the room. “Looks like we’re gonna have to work with what we got. Stay here- I’ll be right back.” 

“Sam, do not try to make me look like a harlot,” Lana warned. “I’m going out for dinner, not a mission to seduce the poor man.”

She stuck her head back in the door, a mischevious grin affixed on her face. “Nobody said it couldn’t be both.”  
—  
Hours later, Lana felt like an underdressed and plucked chicken. Sam had taken tweezers to her brows, made her shave her legs, and dressed her in an outfit that would have made Morrigan proud- Sam had shoved her into a white and blue shirt that draped low in the front, showing the outline of her cleavage. When she tried to protest, the girl had given her a withering look and told her to grow up- showing skin wasn’t a crime. 

_Maybe this version would have gotten along with the Witch of the Wilds,_ Lana wondered, but then thought better of it- _Nope, this version of Sam would have been incinerated before she ever left the edge of the woods._

Her unruly red hair had been slicked back with a product Sam called a gel and was piled into a neat bun on the crown of her head, save a few strategically-placed loose tendrils, and her face was painted simply with liner around her eyes and pink paint on her lips- Lana had to admit, she certainly looked different from what she was used to. 

_I look like I belong here,_ she thought. _I look like this is what I do every day._

“Perfect!” Sam exclaimed, affixing a pair of dangling silver earrings that resembled swords to her ears. “I now declare you amazing, Lana Banana. Ali is going to lose his shit when he sees you!”

Lana just stared at her, mouth agape. “What did you just say?“

Sam looked at her as if she were stupid. “I said, ‘I now declare you amazing, Lana’ - what did you think I said? It’s not like I’m going to insult my own work, you know.”

“Oh... right...” _The first time she called me Lana Banana the entire time I’ve been here and she doesn’t even remember doing it- strange._ “Anyway,” she said brightly, slapping her hands against her thighs. “I think I must be off- I don’t want to make him wait.” 

“Fuck that,” Sam said as she grabbed Lana's phone. “I didn’t do all this work for nothing! There's no way I'm not immortalizing the moment where my sister looks like an actual person and not a renegade librarian- get your ass over here and take a picture with me.”

Laughing, Lana obliged, taking a photo with the girl. Afterward, Sam pulled back, smiling at her. “Remember, no matter how late it is, I expect to get all the juicy details from you tonight, understand?” 

“Understood,” Lana said as she left her room. Sam’s words had left her with a weird feeling as she went downstairs, but she chalked it up to nerves as she headed off to greet Alistair.  
—  
When he rang the bell and she opened the door, Lana had to put a hand to her mouth to squelch the shock of what she saw in front of her.

It wasn’t his clothes that surprised her, though they were certainly different from what she was used to seeing Alistair in- tonight he was wearing a black leather coat, with a blue and white shirt and a pair of jeans that fit him nicely. Nor was it the handsome smile on his face that perfectly mirrored her Ali, and it wasn’t the way he stood nervously in the doorframe, silhouetted perfectly against the snow-covered scene. These facets alone would have been enough to make her smile and throw herself into his arms, but he had to do the one thing that made her want to cry. 

In his hand he held a single red rose, and Maker's breath, it was the _same blasted rose_ he had given her in Redcliffe- just seeing the flower made her entire world shift, and she fought to not pass out right then and there. 

“Hey,” he said softly, extending the flower to her with a smile. “I got you a little something.”

She could barely speak- her hand was clamped over her mouth. Finally, she managed to compose herself enough to get words out and she looked up at him, her eyes full of hope. “Is this your new weapon of choice?”

Suddenly, it was like a curtain was parted from his eyes- in an instant, his whole demeanor changed. Alistair blinked, staring at her as if he’d never seen her before. “Lana?” he whispered, his voice wavering. “Is that really you?”

Her only answer was to toss herself into his arms and kiss him for all she was worth. Ever since she had seen him again, all she wanted to do was to feel his lips on hers, and now that he was _here_ , really here in front of her, she would be damned if she denied herself even a moment longer. She pressed her mouth to his and felt his strong arms encircle her waist, clutching her to him as if he was scared she’d be pulled away at any moment. As Lana held the man she had given her life for, she felt whole and safe for the first time since she woke up- seeing him again made her never want let him go. 

“Ali, I love you so much,” she cried as she rested her forehead against his, tears streaming down her cheeks as she savored simply being near him. The wind from the outside blew softly against them in the doorway, but Lana didn't care- wrapped tightly in his embrace, she couldn’t feel the chill. “I can’t believe you’re here… with me.”

“And I you,” he replied, smiled as he kissed her nose. “As long as you’re here, then there is nowhere else I would rather be.” He brought his hand up to her face, stroking her cheek with her fingertip and wiping away her tears. "My world isn’t the same without you, Lana."

“How?” Lana whispered, running her fingers through his hair and relishing the sensation of the heat of his body against hers. “How are you here, with me?”

“I’m dreaming,” he said quietly. “Sam and I figured out we’ve been watching over you in our dreams, and we’ve been trying to get through to you ever since.” He pulled away, his eyes scanning over her face and shining with tears. “After all this time, I can’t believe I finally found you.” He rested against her again and held her tightly, almost as if he expected her to fade away at any moment. ”I never stopped loving you, my love.” Then he unclasped his necklace, making her cry out as he took it from his neck and placed it around hers. “We never forgot you, Lana… I never forgot about you.”

“How long has it been?” she murmured. “It’s been days for me.”

He pulled back, shocked and scanning her face to see if she was serious. “Lana,” he croaked. “I’ve spent the last decade of my life wishing I was right here with you.” He kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her mouth, exploring her with his tongue, trying to make sure she was truly there with him and not a trick of the Fade. “And I’ll be damned if another version of me gets this part of you, love. You promised me forever, remember?” 

“What do we do?” Lana asked, clutching him tightly- this man looked like Ali, felt like him and even smelled like him- she didn’t know what she’d do if she looked back at him and saw that other version of him. No matter what that other man looked or sounded like, he wasn’t him and he never could be- after having him back, even for a moment, she knew that the voice in her head was right. When it came to Alistair, there was nothing that would ever compare to him- this man was her love, her missing piece.

She’d gladly leave this whole world to rot if she could have him back, for when she was with him, she was whole.

“Now this is a pleasant surprise,” Nia’s soft voice said from behind her. “You’re a bit earlier than I expected, Alistair.” She gestured to the couch, a soft smile playing across her lips. “Have a seat, both of you- I believe there are some things we need to discuss."


	11. A Sense of Duty (9:40 Dragon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen deals with the aftermath of Kirkwall.

_ _

* * *

Cullen was exhausted as he arranged his desk and looked around his new surroundings, making sure that everything was in order. He never thought it would come to this, but the actions of Anders had sparked a war- across Thedas, mages and templars were embroiled in conflict, and the Order, the same Order he had pledged his heart, mind, and body to as an eight-year-old boy was now twisted into something hateful, and he could no longer serve as a templar. He was conflicted, to be sure- he knew the dangers of magic, but he also knew that it wasn’t inherently wrong, and he could not allow himself to fall into that trap the templars were happily marching toward. Cullen had worked hard to keep things stable in Kirkwall after the madness Anders had wrought, understanding better than most that there were two sides to every story.

When he decided to leave the Order, he thought he was done. He’d served his country and served it well, but nothing was holding him in Kirkwall since Hawke and Anders were long gone. On the plus side, Sam had reunited with Grace- thankfully, the reunion with her sister had kept her occupied while he was focused on rebuilding the city. Though he missed her terribly and talked to her every chance he got, he wondered if her mom was deliberately keeping her out of the way. Ordinarily, he might take offense to the interference, but with Kirkwall being what it was, Cullen couldn’t say that he wasn’t grateful to know that Sam was safe and happy at home for the moment.

Looking down and twisting the ring on his finger, Cullen sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Ten years after they’d been married, he’d thought that this was his chance- with the city in a somewhat stable state, Cullen was all set to find a place he could make his own and start a life with his wife. However, those dreams were quickly dashed when Seeker Pentaghast came into his office, requesting his help with the Inquisition Divine Justinia was forming. He wanted to say no- he wanted to say he’d fought the Blight and restored the city, and he deserved the rest.

But he couldn’t.

He knew that he’d turned a blind eye to far too many of the atrocities that Meredith had committed during her reign of terror. Deep down, he felt somewhat responsible for the state of things today, and he knew that no matter how selfish he wanted to be, the Seeker’s offer was a chance given to him by the Maker- a means to allow him to atone for the man he used to be. So, instead of leaving to start the life he wanted to live, Cullen accepted the position of Commander of the Inquisition and returned to Ferelden.

“It appears that you and I will be together again… Commander,” a voice said lightly. “Funny how things work out, no?”

He smiled, raising his head to see Leliana resting lightly in the entryway of his tent. “Leli,” he replied warmly, then paused with a small smirk. "Or is it Sister Nightingale now?” he teased as he crossed the space to hug her. “Why does it not surprise me to see you behind this?”

“For you, I am both, dear friend," she replied as she returned his hug. "And I would be terrible at my job if you weren't surprised by my actions,” she said lightly as she took a seat on the corner of his desk. “But we both know that without the help of your wife, discerning my motives is extremely unlikely.” She smiled, then gestured to the ring on his hand. “That’s new- is our dear Samantha joining us?”

He shook his head, running his finger across the worn metal band. “I’m happy to report that she is not, for once.” He sighed and stared out the window before returning his attention to his friend. “Sam has found her sister and is spending this time catching up with her family.”

He noticed the ghost of a frown cross Leliana’s face, but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with a neutral expression. “Funny, I thought that since you left the Order, you’d be rejoicing at the opportunity to be with your wife openly.”

Cullen sat down at the desk, tenting his hands and staring at the redhead- he wasn’t as devious as she, but he understood tactics. Even with as calculating as Leliana was, he had been her friend for ten years, and while no one really knew the girl, Cullen knew her better than most. “Out with it, Leli- what do you want?”

She smiled, apparently pleased with his directness. “It appears that the years have made you wiser, Cullen- I think you’ll be a fine Commander.” She gestured to the new scar crossing his lip, a parting gift from their battle with the living statues. “Seems like you’ve gotten into a few scuffles since I’ve seen you last."

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” He smiled back. “But I’m afraid you still haven't answered my question.”

“I suppose you’re right,” she replied. “We know each other well enough to not play games with each other, so I will get to the point- I want Sam as an advisor to the Inquisition.”

“No,” he said simply. “That is out of the question.” He looked at his friend, checking for a reaction. “But you’ve already asked her, haven’t you?”

“I have,” she replied. “And she has also told me no.” She turned to Cullen, eyes intense. “However, I was hoping you could be persuaded to make her see reason.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “Are we still talking about the same person here?"

Leliana laughed, a musical sound that belittled the steel in her tone. “I am aware that our Sparrow is… headstrong. But as her husband, it stands to reason that she would want to support you in any way she could, no?” She looked around the tent before settling her gaze back on him. “Particularly since no one can find her cousin nowadays.”

Cullen fought to keep his expression neutral. “Well if you find Hawke, tell him I’d like to have a word with his boyfriend about the destruction he’s wrought throughout the world.”

“You could ask your wife to find him,” she pressed. “I was under the impression Sam could find anyone at any time.”

“Sam has had some… difficulties with her powers as of late,” he lied smoothly. “She came into contact with a poison recently- I almost lost her.” He swallowed, thinking about how she was unable to move or even return home and paled at the memory. “I’m not willing to get her involved again without her express desire to do so.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Leliana said with a frown, then sighed. “However, it mirrors what she told me, so I suppose we’ll have to use more… traditional means to locate the Champion.”

“Playing a married couple against each other is not usually a recipe for a blessed union, friend,” he said mildly.

“You wound me, Commander,” Leli said as she placed a hand to her chest. “Come... walk with me, please? It has been a long time and it seems we’ve much to discuss."

“So we do,” Cullen replied, following the redhead out into the snow-covered town of Haven. “So,” he remarked, “Left hand of the Divine… you’ve been busy, Leli.”

She offered a light shrug as they walked toward the edge of the lake, a soft breeze scattering the snow around them. “Just serving Divine Justinia as best I can,” she said with a smile. “However, it would be easier if your wife would be willing to confirm the consequences of these decisions for us, Cullen."

“I must say, this is quite different than the last time we were here,” he remarked, ignoring her statement. “It’s peaceful now.”

“A lack of cultists will do that for a place,” she said with a smile, placing a hand on his arm as she stared out over the lake. “I just hope we’re doing the right thing.”

“If you like,” he said with a sigh, “I can ask Sam to tell me what she sees as a result of our Conclave. I cannot promise you that she can tell us anything, but I'm happy to ask.”

“I would like that, yes," she replied with a measure of relief he rarely heard from the bard. “So much rests on this, Cullen- for the sake of Thedas, this movement cannot fail.” She glanced over to look at the Chantry before turning back to him. “This Conclave is important- please impress upon our friend the consequences of her inaction. Considering the events in Kirkwall, she should understand better than most.”

He sighed- he’d had this very argument with his wife, and to be on this side of it was maddening. “Sometimes there are some events we cannot change,” he said as he rubbed his neck, thankful for the new warmer armor- Ferelden was cold, and he relished the new fur pauldrons he wore to fight the bitter chill in the air. “I’ve struggled with this very thing... the knowledge that some horrors are inevitable weighs heavily on me, friend.”

“Then let us pray that this is not one of those times,” Leliana said as she turned to him, expression grim. “If it is, I fear the days that lie ahead will not be easy."

At that, Cullen let out a soft laugh, squeezing her shoulder in a friendly gesture of comfort. “Unfortunately for us, we are the last vestiges of Team Mage- when has anything ever been easy?”

She chuckled, staring out over the frozen lake. “I suppose you’re right, friend- it would be foolish of us to expect otherwise."

_ _

* * *

Weary from Seeker Pentaghast’s extensive questioning, Varric was exhausted and angry when he left the chantry to sit by the fire. He’d already been grilled by the Right Hand of the Divine in Kirkwall, telling her the story of the Champion and correcting the assumption that Hawke was the cause of all this- Meredith earned all that blame, hands down, and he’d been more than happy to lay it at the dead woman’s feet. However, he had made a promise to not mention the girl, and he had kept it, avoiding her name and eliminating her involvement whenever possible. But now he'd been dragged out here to tell this whole mess of a story to the Divine, and as a result, he was sober, tired, and decidedly _NOT_ excited to be sitting in the middle of cold-ass Ferelden.

As he sat by the fire and tried desperately to get warm, he heard the telltale clink of armor as someone sat next to him, offering him a mug of something. “Thanks,” he said gruffly, not looking over. “Appreciate it.”

“Glad to see another friendly face,” the person replied. “And you look like you could use a drink.”

He turned, then raised his eyebrows at the man sitting next to him. “Curly?” Then he laughed, taking a sip of the drink Cullen had brought him. “Looks like you aren’t so curly anymore,” he said, gesturing to his hair. “How’d that come about?”

“That’s Commander to you, dwarf,” Cullen said with a smirk, the scar on his upper lip making him look a lot older and wiser than the templar he used to know. “Having a wife with access to hair products is quite useful sometimes,” he replied. “Had I taken advantage earlier, I daresay I would have had an entirely different nickname.”

“Maybe,” Varric replied with a grin, then glanced down at Cullen’s hand, taking note of the worn metal band. “Looks like someone isn’t hiding anymore- that’s new.”

“No, no more hiding,” he said softly. “I’m not shouting it from the rooftops, but I’m certainly not hiding it anymore, either, seeing as I am no longer a Templar.”

Varric gave him a surprised look. “That’s… unexpected,” he said softly. “That safe, Curly?”

Cullen shrugged, his expression giving nothing away. “I wish I could say. Only time will tell, I suppose.”

He nodded, sipping his drink- he heard the stories of templars going mad after leaving the Order, but he knew that Sparrow would never have condoned him doing something so risky without checking first. “Does she know?”

“She knows I left the Order,” he replied. “But not the risks.” Cullen stared out at the fire and let out a deep sigh. “There is no sense in worrying her unnecessarily- we’ll deal with it as it comes.”

 _Yeah, because that's worked out so well for all of us_ , Varric thought as he looked around casually, scanning the area. “She here?”

The commander shook his head, sadness and worry etched on his face. “No. Does Cassandra know about her?”

“Nope.” Varric shook his head, finishing his drink. “I made a promise…and I keep those,” he said pointedly. "Just as I hope you do. Sparrow's not going to turn on her freaky location beacon and start shouting things from the rooftops, is she?"

“Considering how pissed she was at Anders, I can safely say that there is little to no chance of that,” Cullen said as he rose from his seat and clapped Varric on the back. “Let’s just hope this goes well and we can return you home quickly- I’m sure your seat at the Hanged Man is growing lonely without you.”

“Well, shit, Curly,” Varric growled. “Now you’ve done it- every time someone says something like that, things go to hell in a handbasket.”

Cullen shrugged, smiling at the dwarf as he left. “Maybe it’ll be different this time- our luck has to improve at some point, right?”

Sitting by the firelight, and seeing the hopeful eyes of his friend as he headed toward his tent, Varric saw no reason to crush the man even more. Though he wanted to be home and have nothing more to do with Blondie’s fuckup, he could see that the new Commander needed a little hope in his life. So he smiled, folding his hands behind his head as he turned back to the fire.

“Keep your fingers crossed, Curly- we might even get lucky this time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to the conclusion of this series and the final chapter will post on Friday! In addition, the first chapter of the third installment in the Team Mage Chronicles, 'An Anchor in a Sea of Stars' will go up- WHEEE, INQUISITION TIME! 
> 
> I've got 12 chapters written so far, so we'll be chugging right along on my regular publishing schedule (I believe in buffers because life gets cray!) and I'm so psyched to share it with you- I can't believe I got through both of these stories in 2 months! Thankfully, I got quite a few cross-country trips coming up, so I'll be writing up a storm to continue my tradition of ignoring people that sit next to me. 
> 
> Thank you, THANK YOU, THANK YOU so much for reading, commenting, and (hopefully) enjoying this journey! I'm so excited and terrified to take on this epic tale (It's outlined at 55 chapters!), but I don't quit things I start, so get ready to hunker down and enjoy the next installment! Make sure to subscribe to the series or me for updates if you want to continue following the exciting adventures of Team Mage!


	12. When the door opens...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lana makes a decision

_ _

* * *

Nia looked at Lana and Alistair, gesturing to a pitcher of lemonade that had appeared on the table next to the sofa, smirking at the warden. “Would you like some lemonade, Alistair? Seems like you’ve come a long way to have this conversation.”

“I’ve come for her,” he said quickly. “But I think you already knew that- you sent me here, didn’t you?”

“I did,” she said evenly, gesturing to the locket around Lana’s neck. “Considering it’s my charm you’ve been using for the last ten years, I should think that was obvious.” She shrugged as she poured herself a glass, settling back into the chair. “Time is a funny thing, you know- for you, Alistair, it’s been years. For Lana, days. For our Sam, it’s almost been a year. So when things move faster or slower for me, it’s merely surprising." She gave a nonchalant shrug, smiling at the two wardens. "When you’ve lived as long as I have, you get used to it.”

Lana eyed her curiously, taking a drink and settling in on the couch next to Alistair. “And how long has that been, exactly? And what of you in Sam’s world? Doesn’t she notice you’re here with me?”

Nia shrugged. “I stopped caring about age centuries ago- I just focus on the life I’m living right now.” She finished her drink then set it on the coaster, staring directly at Lana as she waved her hand over the rim of her glass, who watched in surprise as Nia's drink began to refill itself. “And in answer to your question… she hasn’t noticed. As I said before, time is funny- you get used to moving between the moments- it helps me do what I need to do. "

“And what is that, exactly?” Alistair asked. “Forgive me for being rude, but Flemeth made more sense than you."

“Flemeth!” Nia cackled, slapping her hand to her knee. “How is that old dragon? I haven’t heard about her for eons!” 

“Well, she saved Ali and I from Ostagar,” Lana replied. “And we didn’t kill her when Sam told me it didn’t matter one way or the other. So, I’d say she’s perfectly normal… for Flemeth, anyway.”

“Good call on letting her be,” Nia said. “You’ll see her soon enough, of that I have no doubt. Tell her hi for me when you do.” 

Lana sat on the couch, thinking for a moment- there was something at play here. _For Nia to be involved, there had to be something they weren’t thinking about or a question they weren’t asking- she didn’t seem to be the type to get involved for no reason._ “Why bring me here at all?” Lana asked quietly. “You didn’t have to do it- I was dead, so I wouldn’t know the difference. You didn’t do it for Sam, because she didn’t know I was here. So, if you didn’t do it for Sam, then why bring me here? And, why let them find me at all? If it weren’t for the weird occurrences, I may have never known what was going on.”

“You’re perceptive, Lana,” Nia agreed. “And you ask the right questions. Which,” she said with a laugh, “is a trait my children don’t always have.” She leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees. “Well to start, I needed your connection to give Sam a message.”

Alistair frowned. “Why play games? Why not just tell her?” 

“I can’t directly interfere in the fate of my children,” Nia said quietly. “And I’m sorry, but my kids come first- always have, always will. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t care how it gets done, as long as they’re safe, the end usually justifies the means for me.” 

“That still doesn’t explain why you took Lana,” Alistair said, holding Lana’s hand in his. “And why haven’t you told Sam she was alive in here?”

“Grace,” Lana said simply, ignoring Alistair for the moment. “You needed to get a message to her about Grace.”

Alistair looked up in alarm. “Is this how she knew to go and save her sister’s boyfriend?” Lana looked at him in surprise and he smiled. “She told me she found her sister, but she had to change some things to help her.” When Lana gave him a look, he smiled. "What? It's been ten years- Sparrow and I talk."

“She needed to learn what to do,” Nia said softly. “And it needed to be in a way she wouldn’t consciously remember.” 

“That’s only one reason and it doesn’t explain the gap in time for everyone,” Lana said thoughtfully. “There’s something more.”

“There is,” Nia agreed, sidestepping the question. “I'm quite proud of you, Alistair- if you didn't truly love her, you wouldn’t have made it here at all.” Nia relaxed in her chair, smiling as she took another sip of her drink. “Do you remember what was the other condition of being one of my children was, Lana?”

Lana thought about it for a moment, then her eyes widened. “The curse,” she whispered. “I inherited the curse as well.”

Nia nodded, setting the now empty glass on the table. “As you agreed to,” she replied. “But you needn’t worry too much- you already lost your first love.” 

Lana shook her head. “But I didn’t- he’s right here,” she answered, clutching Alistair's hand in hers. “He’s my first.”

“What did Sam tell you about your second love,” Nia prodded gently. “I know she told you the story- I need you to remember, Lana.”

Closing her eyes, she tried to think back. “Um.. that the second is forever and not even-“ Her eyes widened again in understanding as she turned to Alistair, then back to Nia. “So it’s true? He’s my second?”

“Um, very confused person, right over here,” Alistair said. “Can someone fill me in? What’s a second, and can someone tell me what you just remembered that made both of you start smiling and nodding?” 

Lana took a deep breath. “According to Sam, your second love is so strong that no matter what, they see you for exactly who you are… and not even death will keep you from them.”

Nia smiled, and her green eyes sparkled with delight. “I might be mistaken, but I think that sounds like our friend over here, doesn’t it?” Nia replied, gesturing to Alistair. “You see, there’s a funny thing that my daughters never seem to understand, but I have a feeling you might, Solana Amell.”

“What is it?” Lana asked curiously. “What did Sam and Grace miss?” 

“That it’s not a curse,” Nia said plainly. “We have the gift of second chances, Lana- if we have the fortitude to push past our pain, we become something greater than we were previously.” She smiled, leaning over to put her hand on Lana’s. “And we never really lose our first love- it just changes into something different than it was before.” 

“But who was her first?” Alistair asked before Lana could even get the question out. “I mean, I’ll take being the second- I’ve loved her since I met her and I’ll love her for the rest of my days,” he said, placing a hand on hers. "But I have to admit, I’m curious.”

Nia grinned. “Lana knows.”

“Sam,” she whispered. “She was my first love.”

“And now she’s your sister,” Nia replied. “Just as you always said she was. I told you,” she said with a smile. “That love doesn’t end... it just changes into something else.” 

“But…” Lana stammered. “That doesn’t explain why I’m here,” she exclaimed in exasperation. “What does this have to do with anything!” 

“There's something,” she said plainly. "But that’s for you and me to discuss… not Alistair, I’m afraid.” She smiled at him sadly. “I think it's time for you to go, my dear. Lana and I have matters to discuss, and it won’t do to have you here while we do so.”

Alistair paled. “But I’ve only just found her again! I can’t lose her- not now!” He pulled her close, pressing a desperate kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Lana,” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “No matter what, I’m not leaving you.” 

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice in the matter, Alistair," she said as she rose from her chair."However, if you need comfort, I suggest you talk to Sam about this- she knows quite well that space and time are immaterial when it comes to those you love.” She smiled as she looked between the two of them. “You two will share a bond forever- remember that.” Then Nia walked over to the warden, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's time to wake up, Alistair." 

Alistair looked at Lana once more, tears glistening in his eyes as he gripped her hand. "I love you, Lana... always."

She could feel him fading away, and tried to pull him closer, but he was already fading from her view. "I love you too," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks as the man she loved vanished once again. Soon there was nothing left of him, and Lana turned to Nia, eyes wet with tears. She opened and closed her mouth, but no sound came out. Nia sat down in the space Ali once occupied, and Lana was wracked with sobs- she had found him, only to lose him once more, and she felt like she was dying all over again. 

“But why?” Lana asked between sobs, curious in spite of herself. “I’m dead, remember? What do I possibly have to offer, outside of teaching lessons for those I’ve left behind?”

“That is a question only you can answer, Lana,” Nia said serenely, wiping Lana's tears. “Do you remember what I told you after you refused the ritual?” When Lana looked at her blankly, she smiled. “I suppose I have asked you to remember quite a bit, so I’ll remind you.” She looked her over for a moment, then continued. “I said that if you were willing to die to save your world, then maybe the world shouldn’t be so quick to be done with you.”

“I… can go back?” Lana said tearfully. “I can be with my Ali and Sam? For real?”

“You could, yes,” Nia said carefully. “But there would be a price.”

“What is the price?” Lana asked. “What would I have to do?” 

“The world would require your services… again,” Nia replied sadly. “And we both know that the road for heroes is never easy. Not to mention the fact that time will have moved on since your departure. Things will have changed, lives will have been lost, but you would still have to continue. You will not be able to pick up where you left off,” she warned. “The world as you knew it is gone, Lana.” 

“So I would be needed,” Lana said thoughtfully. “A mage, needed, only to be discarded again.” She shook her head in disgust. “I do not know if I want to subject myself to that again.”

“As I said, the world is a little different now… and so are you,” Nia said pointedly. “You carry a piece of my daughter with you,” she replied, gesturing to the locket. “It’s how it’s made- a piece of the soul, given freely to another. When you left it with Alistair, you left a bit of yourself in that world, and he was kind enough to give it back to you.” She smiled, relaxing against the chair. “As I thought he would.” 

“You play a long game, Nia,” Lana murmured. “This is a lot of what-ifs.” 

“Sometimes, that’s all life is,” she replied indifferently. “A series of what-ifs that play out in succession. When you've lived as many lives as I have, you learn how to nudge the pieces to fit together in a way that works for you, particularly when you have nothing but time.”

“Do your daughters know how much power you truly have?” Lana wondered aloud. “I suspect that you know a lot more than you let on with them.”

“Considering you’ve guessed quite a bit and you’ve only scratched the surface, I’d say your assumption is correct, Lana. But enough of this for now, as we have decisions to make,” she said gently. “What do you wish to do? Do you wish to rest or travel back to the unknown?” Nia placed a gentle hand on Lana’s shoulder, staring at her with kind green eyes. "You owe the world nothing, child- your rest is well-earned and entirely your due, but so is your life.”

Lana played with the hem of her shirt. “If I go, will I be able to find Sam again? Will I be a mage again? Will I find Ali again?"

“So many questions!” Nia laughed. “As for Sam, you are both my girls now- you’ll always be able to find her, whenever you need her- that, I can promise you. Your powers will be there, but they may be different than before, and you’ll find Ali again, but I can’t precisely tell you when.” She shrugged, then smiled softly. "I wish I could give you more, but all I can do is offer you the choice- by accepting my help as my child, I cannot intervene on your behalf any longer.” 

“I understand,” Lana replied. “Even knowing the cost, I wish to go back. I want the chance to live the life I want, even with the knowledge that I must serve a cause greater than myself to do so.”

“You’re going to have to convince your sister to help,” Nia warned. “She’s been… less than helpful since you’ve been away. Maybe you can help her pick a side?” The woman put a hand on her shoulder. “With you, she’s stronger than she knows… but she needs you, Lana.” 

“Then I will be there for her,” Lana said confidently. “I already left my sister once, and if I have the chance to get her back, I don’t intend to leave her again.” 

“Then it seems you’ve made your choice,” Nia replied with a smile. "I wish you luck."

She gestured to the door, and Lana rose to her feet, steeling herself to enter into the unknown. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me, Nia. I hope I prove myself to be worthy of your gifts."

“You already have,” Nia declared with a smile. "But before you leave, know this,” she said, pulling Lana into a hug that brought the scent of spices and flowers to her nose. “This time, no one will ever forget your name."

_ _

* * *

It had been a long night. 

With Grace back, things felt a bit more normal, though it was hard to decide what to do about Cullen and me. He was back in Ferelden, and I wasn’t keen on heading back over there. For me, there were just too many memories, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to face them all yet. He’d had ten years, whereas I had only had one- things were still a bit raw for me. However, he was there, which meant that eventually, I would have to make the trip- when Grace noticed my ring, she called me an idiot for not being with him. No matter her other faults, Grace was just as loyal as John, her husband- if you were family to them, then nothing else mattered, and heaven help you if you crossed either of them. She’d found her home out there, and was curious why I hadn’t embraced mine. 

I had tried to give her every excuse in the book- I don’t want to lose my magic, I need to learn more, I needed to be there for my new niece and nephew… all the things I tossed out, she shot down. The only time she relented was when I told her the story of Lana, but even then she fixed me with a look, asking if Lana would want me giving up a life with the man I loved to run from her memory.

Thoroughly castigated, I called her a prick- she laughed, saying that it only hurts when you know it’s true.

We’d stayed on the roof talking for a while after that, with her telling me all the stories about her and her friends, and me telling her all about mine. I showed her my sketchbook and walked her through our adventures, smiling at each memory. 

_It’s ok to remember, Squeak,_ she told me. _Remembering and running are two different things._

 _Remembering hurts,_ I told her. _I feel like I’ve lost a piece of me every time I think about her, Grace. And I don’t know how I’m gonna make it going back there and seeing all the old stuff I used to see with her._

 _Then honor her,_ Grace had said. _Make new memories- they won’t replace the old ones, but you can move on. No one said you have to forget Lana, Sam. Hell, you couldn’t if you tried- she’s part of you now, cheesy as that sounds._

 _It’s hard_ , I whined, leaning on her shoulder as she rubbed my back. _She was the reason I set out on that adventure. I thought losing her would hurt a little less when I found you again, but I still feel just as empty as the day I lost her._

 _Duh,_ Grace had said with a smile, thumping me on my head. _That’s because you can’t just add and subtract people, Sam. Contrary to what my son thinks, everything doesn’t work like lego pieces- you don’t get to swap one out for another. Everyone has a different role to play- it’s up to us to figure out what that role is._

 _When did you get so wise,_ I’d asked. _You certainly weren’t operating on zen priestess levels when you left here._

_Being over two hundred and thirty years old will do wonders for your mental clarity, Squeak. Now, go- handle your business. And I want to meet this man of yours, you know._

_I’ll see what I can do,_ I had told her as we headed in from our rooftop perch. _But I make no promises._

Now, Grace had gone home and I was all alone, rummaging in the fridge for a late-night snack- my goal was to eat all the feelings my sister had stirred up within me, and I found a leftover roast beef sandwich in the fridge that seemed up for the monumental challenge. As I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and opened the fridge to get something to drink, I heard a voice call out to me. 

_Sam? Are you there?_

Shocked, I dropped the glass, oblivious as it shattered into a million pieces at my feet. I hadn’t heard this voice in almost a year, but I would know it anywhere. This voice haunted my dreams and was the star of my nightmares, but I would’ve given anything to hear it just one more time. _It's a hallucination,_ I thought. _There’s no way it’s actually her_.

_But what if it is?_

Looking around and clearing my head, trying to focus but not get my hopes up, I sent a tentative response. _Lana Banana?_

 _I don’t know where I am and I need you, Sam,_ she replied shakily. _I’m scared._

No longer hungry, I raced upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. _Hang on Lana Banana- I’m on my way._

_No matter where you are, I’ll always find you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I cannot believe part 2 is done! Thank you for all the kudos, comments and support! Also mad props to @agent_ontario, who sparked this idea in the first place!
> 
> If you want to continue and join Team Mage some more, subscribe to me or part 3, _An Anchor in a Sea of Stars_! Updates Tuesday and Saturdays, but Ch. 1 is up now!

**Author's Note:**

> I bit the bullet and finally put my [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/danypooh80) back up- follow me if you want to send a message, share memes, post fic recommendations, and get previews of upcoming stories! 
> 
> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
> Feedback
> 
> Short comments  
> Long comments  
> Questions  
> Constructive criticism  
> “<3” as extra kudos  
> Reader-reader interaction  
> LLF Comment Builder
> 
> If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (i get it- I’m socially awkward sometimes and get stuck in a niceness portal and can’t figure out how to leave a convo), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond. Kudos also work too!


End file.
